FemaleMember since 12 Aug 13Last online 7 years ago

Sometimes when I lay awake in bed, I look up at the early morning specks of light that shine in through my window and groan thinking,"Damn it, already morning." So like I usually do, I roll over to my side peer up at my desk that holds up my mirror and think,"Damn, I belong in Mordor." My Mom and Dad would still be asleep and my sisters would be huddled up in their own beds soundly. When this does happen and I fall in to the acceptance that I will not be getting any sleep; I get up. Go to my closet and scavenge for my blue, empty cookie tin.


In there contains my lighter, unused/used cigarettes, and papers of my favorite drawings and quotes. I'll pick up a fresh cigarette and light it. I keep the window open and grab my book off the shelf. It's always the same book every time. I flip through all the pages, all highlighted and some with small notes written to the side. I stop a page to the end and read the lines that I had highlighted:

"Think that maybe "the afterlife" is just something we make up to ease the pain of loss, to make our time in the labyrinth bearable."
"I believe now that we are greater than the sum of parts. If you take Alaska's genetic code and you add her life experiences and the relationships she had with people, and then you take the size and shape of her body , you do not get her. There is a something else entirely. And that part has to go somewhere, because it cannot be destroyed."

"Those awful things are survivable, because we are indestructible as we believe ourselves to be. When adults say,"Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail."

"It's very beautiful over there" I don't know where there is but, I believe it's somewhere, and I hope it's beautiful."
(Looking For Alaska -- John Green)

So when I finish I begin to smile and I lay on my back to face the ceiling again. The light has taken over and my whole room is washed in the sun's ray. In my mind I am at peace and at heart I am one.


I am Skylar , I am 13 , I love books, fanfics and music. All day I am on the internet doing random stuff.

directioner - gapper - bvb army - lover of all youtubers - fangirl - foodie - couch potato -
forever single

"Fandoms are like drugs. You just need a little bit to get you hooked, and then a tiny bit more here and there when BAM, suddenly your life is a train wreck."
~danisnotonfire