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"I am an emotion lord."

Inspiration won't text back

by , Thursday September 29, 2016
2 Comments
Inspiration won't text back

Hello, human beans.


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  • Psycho-Novelist
    1 Like
    I've read the first few chapters and I must say it has great potential! It's been very interesting so far, and I love your vivid quite brutal descriptions of events and conflicts. However one thing I did notice in the second chapter I believe is 'my legs went sour'. This makes absolutely no sense to be completely frank, and it did sort of put the story on halt as I was trying to figure out the meaning for that, and I was 'taken out of the suspense' so to speak. The images work really well to illustrate the events in the chapters and I like that, it's quite unique and you don't often help it. As people mentioned there are some issues with tense in the first couple of chapters I read and I think the TENDERNESS chapter physically is too bulky. You have nice paragraphing to start and then a huge block of text and I don't think that reads very well, personally. The same is the case with the third chapter, and it ruins the sort of intensity of the text. It makes it look quite daunting when it's one huuuuuge block of text, and you lose interest quickly when there is little paragraphing. Additionally, in chapter 3 towards the end you say he also started vanishing or more like whirled away' that is a big no-no. If it's not speech, you need to be a bit more decisive. You also don't 'start to vanish' you just do so, immediately. You need to pick whether it is an instant vanish or the slower whirling away. I know it's nit-picky, but it made me cringe a little bit and wanted you to know. Otherwise it's a very good read and I look forward to reading more. Make sure to read your work carefully out loud to make sure it flows well, would be my best advice.
    Ghoul Investigator.
    Ghoul Investigator...
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    I was made to bathe in my own blood, I was choking my own blood as if my lungs were bleeding from the inside then I fight for breath but I can’t get much… I can’t do it anymore… I’m done… I want to die...
    AnimeAffinity
    2 years ago
    Ahhh no prob :)... I totally get it what you wanna say and thanksssss so much for such a lovely and amazing review :D.
    Yeah I'll definitely light the bulkiness and reduce the amount of simile and yeah fix my mistakes up right away :)
    I'll gonna work on your review too and give it to you in this week just send me the link if you like or tell me the story name.
    I'll love to hear your thoughts on coming chaps and wow your review is so amazing :D
    Psycho-Novelist
    2 years ago
    1 Like
    I'd be more than happy to look at the rest of the story. I've watched Tokyo Ghoul so I'm obviously very into this :) And I will send you the link in just a mo :) So wonderful to see you taking the criticisms so well, that's what they're designed to do!
    AnimeAffinity
    2 years ago
    Yeah CRITICISM, when you decide to write a story ... some people are like don't like the style of your writing But this doesn't bother me a bit :) Because this is what that makes me understand what the reader actually wants from me and it's just a lovely thing :)
  • Psycho-Novelist
    The cover of this novel was photographed by n.a.david, a friend of mine who permitted me to use his image.
    Catharsis Comes From Letting Go.
    Catharsis Comes...
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    I have a right to repression. If I believe what I feel inside isn't true, if I can doubt myself to the point of becoming a separate embodiment to my own anxiety then surely I can stay with you one more...
  • Psycho-Novelist
    1 Like
    Prologue Review: Wow! I'm hooked already. The description is very vivid and intense; the thought process of the protagonist was really interesting to read, particularly the discussion about the handprints. It certainly makes you want to learn more regarding what this place 'is' and what's going on in the bigger picture. I think you left just enough out to keep the reader intrigued. I look forward to the first chapter.
    🔥 қהіԲ૯ ૬қіν૯ 🔥
    🔥 қהіԲ૯ ૬қіν૯ 🔥
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    🔥 My name is Kaya- My name is Nadia- My name is Indigo- My name is Flynn- These are all just names taken from my own life. K.N.I.F.E – We don’t usually go around together, one of us is always in exactly...
    3 SECOND LUKE
    2 years ago
    1 Like
    @[Psycho-Novelist] Thanks for the review! It was very difficult to get the reader intrigued. I've tried this in the past, and it didn't work out in my favor. However, this one seems to have worked much better than I had hoped.
  • Psycho-Novelist

    A CUTE CHEERY TALE OF JOY AND MURDER

    Red RoomsThere have been a chain of murders across central Manhattan. All the victims are teenage introverts, as described by their parents. Never going out, always...

    check it out, follow me and ill follow you, deep sea baby, I'll follow you.
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