FemaleUnited KingdomMember since 31 Dec 13Last online 1 months ago
Hi there, my name is Kate, I'm based in Lancashire and I'm going to be sharing the first in my Chimaera Chronicles series here on Movellas. I'll be posting Tuesdays and Fridays, for the most part, so I hope you enjoy it.
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mumbled "Movellas Spam"
Has anyone else been inundated with Movella's group spam today? I'm not registered for email notifications and don't know how to disable them.4 years ago@[Eva84] I emailed almost a week ago with no response. I've already had a number of these emails already today and it's only 8am. Would appreciate some indication of when I should expect a response.
- Thank you so much for adding my story to your list! :)
mumbled "My Movella is FINISHED!"
It's true! At 75 chapters and about 4.5 hours of reading time THE SPHINX PROJECT is complete!
I hope you LOVE it!4 years agoIt's really just a case of keeping your butt in the seat and writing. I know it can be hard, and the words you write might suck, but at least once they're on the page you can get to work moulding them into exactly what you want them to be.
- Hiya, you posted on my Mumble asking for constructive feedback. I hope this helps:
This is an interesting concept, but I think this beginning could benefit from a little revision. Right at the start, in the prologue, the very first line catches our attention. She's panicking, the stakes are high... and then they're not. She's not actually in any danger and it feels like a set up to draw the reader in emotionally, only for that door to slam shut.
In chapter one I think some markers would be helpful to let the reader centre themselves in the story as the action takes place. At the moment I'm thrust into a situation without knowing it's not a real dump, or who's speaking, and not only do I have to work that out, you're giving us a lot of history at the same time. Let us get to grips with where we are *now* before you start telling us what happened before. If you really want to, you can scatter tiny hints in throughout the text that tell us about the past, without actually telling us. Maybe something along the lines of:
The social worker's iron grip on my shoulder steered me through the door and into the dump that was the care home.
I was back. Again.
We paused just inside the threshold, long enough for everyone's eyes to land on us.
"Ew, it's her." Cara's voice carried across the chequered vinyl floor. She was a short girl with long brown hair, and everyone liked her. "I thought we'd gotten rid of her."
I hope this was helpful. Have a wonderful day!AloneIt’s hard moving from home to home, constantly being tortured and being the odd-one-out. I've always tried to run away, however they always find me. It's not fair any more...
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