FemaleUnited StatesMember since 13 Jul 18Last online 14 hours ago

I love writing, but I don't do it much. I'm going to try and focus! I play ps4 and work most of the time. Or sleep. But I have cool dreams that I turn into stories and think about stories a lot and write down sentences and paragraphs on napkins as they come to my head or quickly type it out in my phone with as many typos as possible. I love wolves, but somehow I've moved out of my werewolf phase and into a demons and angels phase (?) so you'll definitely see common themes. That is, if you actually read my stuff. That is, if I actually write enough to post something. I was hoping this site would help me stay organised, if not focused.

  • Jade Wolffe

    mumbled "Personal"

    1 Like

    Time and time again, I find myself fighting to come to terms with this. I finally made the announcement on Facebook about it, because, not a lot of people knew, and, it's a huge part of me that time and time again affects my daily activity and overall life. I have a chronic pain, connective tissue disorder. This means that my body is weak, and, one wrong move could send something falling out of place inside of me. A bone. A tendon. A torn muscle, when I don't do sports. When you hear about a torn labrel muscle or a dislocated rotator cuff, you think of sports. Everyone asks me if it happened in sports, and that pit in my stomach drops as I , again, have to explain things. People look at me and say, "you're too young to be in pain or have these things happening to you." I run and hide and start bawling, because this person who has no way of knowing what's going on with me in my personal life, unknowingly, just punched me in the gut with their foot in their mouth. I AM young, and yet, I have to live with the most pain, with no way of it getting better.
    I didn't know about this for all of my years, but, I already had depression. I've always been different, shoved into the background, quiet and choked by anxiety. I've always had a passion for writing. It's always been there, and I've always loved fantasy. I come up with ideas and run with them, but, I think a part of me connects with fantasy, because it's made up, and anything is possible. My boyfriend is a huge supporter of my work and creativity, but, he keeps asking me, you write about fantasy and people with magical powers, and that's fine, but you never write about someone with your condition. I have tried, but, it's really hard. I hate thinking about it and talking about it. Many arguments have been hashed, because my boyfriend tries to help me, but forcing me to talk about it is like backing me into a corner. I scream at him that I don't want to talk about it! I will bring it up if I want to talk about it, but, how dare he!
    I was lying in bed last night, and, I decided that it was time that I tried for real this time. No fantasy and no walls. I'm going to write a FICTIONAL story of a GIRL (not me) with my condition, and tell a story of what it's like and what sort of things that people might have to deal with when living with this. Not everything is a true story from me, but, not all of it is fake. I put a little bit of myself into all of my characters, which is why goth girls and self harm is a common theme in my work. I take my likes, my dislikes, my spirit, my opinions, and I give them to my characters. They're all made up, but, at the same time, they're all a piece of me. She isn't going to be real, but, she is a part of me, and I am a part of her. She is going to be my creation, but, maybe someone out there can identify with her, as well.
    I don't hope to "spread awareness," like my boyfriend suggests. I doubt that it is going to be read by very many people. But, this IS something that I have to live with and struggle with daily, and this IS something that I have to do.
    Lily Anna
    1 days ago
    I really understand this. I also have a chronic pain, connective tissue disorder too! If you ever need to talk, you can inbox me. :)
  • Jade Wolffe

    mumbled "Happy "

    1 Like
    I did a lot today! I made a book that I filled with tons of covers, because I make a lot of them, and, I could use some help choosing which ones to use for each story, if anyone is interested in helping! Please, give that a look! A take a lot of time in editing them.
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