yestertoday

2611
momma i love you

1. .

Sorry I don't have the courage to show you this, momma

 

Momma where ’you at?

I need you momma

Adulthood is scaring me, momma, and so am I

I’m scaring myself, momma

Because I’m the me I was yesterday but I’m the me I am today

And I feel ambidextrous, momma

The me I was yesterday is not the me I am today

But I’m both, momma

 

Momma where ‘you at?

I need you momma

Being gay is scaring me momma, and so am I

I’m scaring myself, momma

Because I’m the me I was yesterday but I’m the me I am today

And I feel like a failure, momma

The me I was yesterday was gay and the me I am today is, too

But yesterday you didn’t know, momma

 

Momma where ‘you at?

I need you momma

Being momma’s girl is scaring me, and so am I

I’m scaring myself, momma

Because I wanted to talk to you yesterday and I want to talk to you today

And I feel hopeless, momma

The me I was yesterday didn’t manage and the me I am today didn’t either

But it is yestertoday and I thought I fixed it, momma

 

Momma where ‘you at?

I need you momma

Being out is scaring me, and so am I

I’m scaring myself, momma

Because yesterday you made me overflow my banks and today and today the muddy dirt blurred my eyes

And I feel like I’m drowning, momma

The me I was yesterday could swim because of anger and the me I am today is drowning

But I’m trying, momma

 

Momma where ‘you at?

I need you momma

Changes are scaring me, and so am I

I’m scaring myself, momma

Because yesterday was like every other day and today should be, too

And I feel childish, momma

The me I was yesterday was growing up and the me I am today is newborn

But I’m rebuilding, momma

 

Momma you said ‘why you never ask’

And I said ‘never ask what’

And you said:

 

Daddy where ’you at?

I need you daddy

Adulthood is scaring me, daddy, and so am I

I’m scaring myself, daddy

Because I’m the me I was yesterday but I’m the me I am today

And I feel ambidextrous, daddy

The me I was yesterday is not the me I am today

But I’m both, daddy

 

And I told you

Momma I know where ‘you at

But I need you, momma, and that’s why I shout

Adulthood is scaring me, momma, and so are beginnings

Beginnings are scaring me, momma

Because last time my life started over again was yesteryear but this is now

And I don’t want that to happen again, momma

What happened yesteryear was not what’s happening this year

And it shaped me, momma

 

Momma where ‘you at?

I need you momma

Emptiness is scaring me, momma, and so am I

I’m scaring myself, momma

Because I felt empty yesterday and I feel even emptier today

And I have one caring parent

The parent I had yesterday and still have today

And you’re both, momma

 

Momma where ‘you at?

I need you momma

Having told you everything is scaring me, momma, and so am I

I’m scaring myself, momma

And I still have so much left inside me

The things I told you yesterday and want to tell you again today

But I don’t have the courage, momma

 

Momma I’m sorry

I know where ‘you at

You’re right there, you’ve always been, momma

I’m sorry I didn’t trust you yesterday and I still await it today

But it’s daddy’s fault, momma

I still am the daughter you knew yesterday, momma

You just have to see through the curtains in my eyes

It’s yestertoday and the one I was yesterday I still am today, momma

I love you, momma

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