Dear ex best friend

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1. Dear ex best friend

I can't believe I'm even writing this right now but I guess things change. Sometimes for the better sometimes for the worst. We always talked about staying together forever I started to believe that would actually happen but then this happened. I feel so broken and empty right now. I'm doubting if anything you said to me was real. Did u actually love me or was it all pretend?

You were one of the first people I opened up about my mental health issues. You said you were going to help me get through this dark place I'm in but your a lair. Like everyone else you walked away. You didn't try to stop and think why I did what I did instead of making it all about u. I was in pain it had nothing to do with you. Yes I know I never spoke to you much about how I'm feeling it was only because you didn't understand and I understand that. It's fine you did your best.

We've been friends for 5 months 5. Now your throwing it all away blaming me for your pain when I never intended to hurt you. But u did plan on hurting me you knew what u were doing and you knew how I would react. I wish I never got close to u cause forgetting you is going to be impossible. I can't not think about you. Your stuck in my head. Losing you has been like losing the entire will to live and I hate it so bad. I can't even feel your love anymore I only feel your hate.You made me feel so special, so important, so wanted and now it's gone. You're friendship meant the world to me. How could u do this to me? I feel more alone than ever.

My mind is blocking all the good things I guess it's a protection mechanism. I keep replaying all the bad moments in my mind. I still feel like I'm in shock that I haven't fully coprehended your lose. I feel so many emotions that I can't even cope with them. I just want to grab a blade and stopping feeling this pain for a moment.

I'm going to try and focus on our good times as painful as it is. I wish you had given me the chance to explain why I did it and how it had nothing to do with you. It's quite ironic our story is ending the way it began by hating each other... I hope you get through this. I probably will never stop loving u but I guess you already have. I don't hate u but I guess our story is now over...

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