holonet stars

I’ve noticed that, by all accounts, Anakin and Obi-Wan are A list celebrities in the galaxy far far away. However, they seem to have escaped the hellscape that is the celebrity treatment. I’m talkin’ forced into talk shows, hounded by rabid fans, and having every action dissected. I’ve decided to subject these boys to that.


Author's note

I’m making this all up as I go along please be nice to me!!!

1. author was never a dancer sorry

“Welcome back to Dancing Stars, brought to you live on the Holonet from Courscant. I am Grenna, your host for this next performance.” The Rodian host turned to the audience in his studio, eyes twinkling as he welcomed the applause. His viewers truly had no idea what was in store for them. He couldn’t wait to see the reviews and ratings later.

“Usually here on Dancing Stars, we invite beings known for their acting, singing, or dancing across the galaxy and the Holonet alike here to show off their skills. However, today we all get a unique opportunity. Our next couple of dancers are household names, but I doubt you have ever seen either of them dance, let alone with each other.” He could practically feel the curiosity and anticipation rising in the room. Pushing down a swell of giddiness, the host adjusted his jacket and paced off to the right of the stage where a small seating area was set up.

“These two Jedi are on leave from the front and graciously agreed to come on our show today.”Already there were excited whispers in the crowd. As the Rodian sat in an armchair, the lights all dimmed except for center stage.

“Their names have practically become one word, a word synonymous with victory. Wherever they fight, they leave scores of scrapped droids. They are The Team. The twin generals of the Open Circle fleet. The Negotiator and The Hero With No Fear. Please welcome Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker!”

His voice would have been drowned out by the crowd if he hadn’t been hooked up to audio amplifiers. Out of the wings walked in the two Jedi and the crowd somehow got even louder. Obi-Wan had a serene smile on his face but his eyes were obviously shocked at their noisy reception. Anakin, on the other hand, simply grinned smugly and shot a look at his former master as if to say, ‘I told you so.’

In unison, the two bowed to the studio audience and didn’t lift their heads until the noise had started to die down. Suddenly they turned to face each other completely and the crowd went dead silent, not wanting to miss a moment. The lights went down  except for a lone spotlight illuminating the men. The low warbling of a stringed instrument resonated and the dance began.

As one, the Jedi held out their hands palm to palm and laced their fingers together. They pulled and drew one another closer, spinning around their linked hands before extending their arms and skipping away from the other. Obi-Wan held out his hand to Anakin, palm down. In response, Anakin dropped to one knee and grabbed the offered hand.

The crowd barely contained itself as they recognized the opening steps of The Jedi and The King, a famous and historic voiceless opera. They could hardly believe their luck, about to witness their heroes twirling around each other in such a gorgeous dance.

Obi-Wan turned about, still holding his former padawan’s hand, and fell back onto Anakin’s knee. His back arched and his free hand stretched over his head, brushing the ground. Anakin supported him with a hand in the small of his back, slipping his other hand out of his grip and under his thighs and he quickly rose, throwing his head back dramatically. They held the pose for a moment: Obi-Wan nearly upside down with his fingertips grazing the stage and Anakin sliding a hand down his leg as the music met its first swell.

Obi-Wan was playing the part of the gentle and mystical Jedi while his partner was the powerful but selfish King. The voiceless opera was famous the galaxy over for not only being so beautiful but also for being the only performance all written, scored, choreographed, and arranged by Jedi. While it could be danced by non-force sensitives, the easy grace and strength of Order members made it so much more expressive when performed by a pair of Jedi.

Anakin lowered Obi-Wan until his hand flattened on the stage and shoved at his legs so he flipped down into a crouch before spinning away. He stopped and offered his hand palm up, leather glove gleaming. Obi-Wan laid his hand on his partners wrist. In a burst of movement, he sprang to his feet, sliding his hand up to the broad shoulder and jumping up into the air. The King grabbed his hips and lifted his body over his head, the Jedi’s hands lifting off of his shoulders and fingers spreading wide. They slowly turned around until when Anakin dropped him down into a pseudo-waltz, the audience could only see Obi-Wan’s hands, one in the other’s grip and the other draped over leather tabards.

The Jedi and The King told the story of a Jedi sent to mediate the conflict between a planetary ruler and his people. The King was both loved and feared among his subjects for his ruling style supported by an unbeatable army. However, he was growing desirous for more absolute control and his people were resisting the change. The Jedi, upon landing, had been apprehended by the King’s police and brought to the palace, shown in the graceful lifts at the beginning. Their first negotiation was during a royal ball, hence the nearly-ballroom dancing.

The men danced around each other. The brunette swept the other into a low dip and lowered his head until his hair hid his face as the music rose into an angry crescendo. The King yanked his captive out of civility and into the air, hands gripping hips. The Jedi pressed his legs together and pointed his toes. He drew one leg to his chest and his hands flew down toward the dancer in black in a mock Force push. Anakin speedily lowered the smaller man and pirouetted away.

In homes across the galaxy, beings of all species and genders logged on to the holonet, either to watch the spectacle unfolding themselves, to post about it on social media, or both. As the host had said, the Skywalker/Kenobi team was known and loved all throughout the Republic. No one was going to miss seeing them outside of newsreels about the war, and dancing together nonetheless.

In sync, both rose up to the balls of their booted feet and held their arms straight up. Their outer legs were suddenly in the air and they threw their arms to the side, using he momentum to spin in place, whirlwinds of white and black. Their legs came down and they took steps away from each other while in deep bows. Then, they ran at each other and leapt though their air in near splits, switching their locations on the stage. Once more, the dancer in white offered his hand to his partner, palm down.

As the story progresses, the King becomes more and more convinced that he needs to change his ways. The calm words and logical ideas of his Jedi prisoner are making him rethink himself. Enraged by this, he interacts with the Jedi in less and less friendly environments, going from a ball to a dinner to unveiled negotiating, hoping that it would make him resist changing even as the two grow closer and become tentative friends.

Anakin accepts the hand and tugs his partner into his arms, deliberately stepping in a perimeter around the twirling Jedi. Obi-Wan hops backwards and balances on the ball of one foot, the other thrown about behind him along with his hands. He swings his limbs forwards and stands, slightly crouched. Anakin skips forwards and, right before he jumps, his partner gives him a boost and throws him up in the air. He spins tightly in the air before gracefully landing. The music grows violent once more and the King whips his head to the side, dead set on the Jedi.

While the King tries to ignore his new friend, he finds himself utilizing his ideas and suggestions. His people like him more and more and with their increased freedom they sing his praises across the planet. The King is delighted. However, he forces himself to direct his anger from himself for how he used to rule onto his Jedi captive, desperately trying to convince himself that he is being forced to change his ways. In one last effort to remain a tyrant, he challenges the Jedi to a fight.

Anakin rushes at his partner on light feet. He pushes off of the stage as Obi-Wan slides underneath in a graceful dive. The taller man lands poised on one foot, the other leg extended behind. Obi-Wan sweeps one of his own legs around so he faces the audience while he gently grabs the offered ankle. The King glances over his shoulder and any observers would have seen a shared grin if they had stood in between the two Jedi in that instant.

Anakin kicks his foot forward, freeing it and giving him momentum into a series of terribly fast spins. Meanwhile, the dancer in white had followed the path of the leg and performed an impeccable set of fan kicks while he rolled over on his back. The dancer in black hopped over him and dropped to a knee once again, offering his hand palm up. The prone Jedi grasped it and was once more tugged up as the music rose to its climax.

Obi-Wan’s legs were swept out from under him as the younger man lifted him with one hand under his back and the other under his thighs. Obi-Wan moved a hand towards the King’s face in another mock push, resulting in Anakin flipping him over his head once more. He sprung upright and turned away. Obi-Wan bent his legs and held his arms out to his sides, like a bird about to take flight. And flight he took.

Anakin came up behind him with a hand on either side of his partner’s waist. As he lifted, the older man jumped and he was suspended in the air. His pointed feet parted and his arms came up, and suddenly silver confetti like raindrops dusted around them. Still carrying the Jedi, Anakin stepped backwards upstage. He dropped the other man down for an instant, adjusting his grip, and the dancer in front of him jumped once more.

Obi-Wan arched back and laid his hands on his partners shoulders. He kicked both legs up and back and Anakin simultaneously pushed him up with his hands on the small of his back. The music paused and in the silence of the studio, the Jedi serenely balanced on the broad shoulders of the King while the latter buried his face into his hands. The low vibrations from many stringed instruments crept back in, getting exponentially louder for each second the two dancers remained frozen. The shiny confetti, like so much broken glass, settled at the pair’s feet and the spell was broken.

The Jedi moved his legs the tiniest bit and lithely landed behind the still form of the other dancer. Anakin’s hands left his face and balled into fists right as Obi-Wan swept him off of his feet, holding him much the same as he had been held less than a minute ago. The King swung an arm over the Jedi’s head and, as if he had actually been hit, Obi-Wan dropped him and spun to the side. They twirled apart, paused, and skipped towards each other with mirrorlike symmetry. As the two met, Obi-Wan went low to grab the taller man’s hips, holding him in the air for scarcely three seconds as he whirled the other above his head.

The music mirrored the stage; it sped backwards through the score and the dancers speedily duplicated the numerous lifts performed during the dance in reverse order. However, instead of the King flaunting the power he had over the captive Jedi, it was the Jedi letting the King experience powerlessness. Between each toss, Anakin tried to spin away only for the dancer in white to calmly sashay around him, catching him in his arms.

The first note sounded and was held as, in a crouch after a reenactment of the first lift of the voiceless opera, Anakin offered his hand to the Jedi, palm down. The wavering note died into silence. The studio audience held its breath. Finally, the confetti on the stage was all swept away by an unseen force and Obi-Wan dropped to his knees. The Jedi reached out and laced his fingers with the King’s, hands palm to palm. They both rose as one and once more twirled around their connected hands. Then they let go with their outside hands and bowed to the audience together, still holding hands between them.

After about a quarter of a minute, they both awkwardly glanced up, still in sync, then dropped hands and straightened. Finally the house lights came up and Dancing Stars’ Rodian host started clapping. The crowd went wild. The sudden screaming and whistling was deafening. The Jedi in black was shocked into a laugh and smiled wider than a small moon. His counterpart in white wore a similarly startled smile with joyous eyes above. Once more, the duo graced the viewers with a deep bow, shorter this time.

“We will be right back to interview today’s guests after a few messages from our sponsors. Thank you for tuning in to Dancing Stars and we will be right back!”

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