holonet stars

I’ve noticed that, by all accounts, Anakin and Obi-Wan are A list celebrities in the galaxy far far away. However, they seem to have escaped the hellscape that is the celebrity treatment. I’m talkin’ forced into talk shows, hounded by rabid fans, and having every action dissected. I’ve decided to subject these boys to that.


Author's note

I’m making this all up as I go along please be nice to me!!!

3. author rlly likes The Gurls

“Thank you for tuning in to Dancing Stars, live from Courscant. Have a wonderful day and we will see you next week!”

Padmé felt like her face would split from smiling so much. She was curled up on a couch in her apartments between Sabé and Dormé, eating her favorite foods, and just got to watch her husband and one of her best friends finally acting carefree live on the holonet. She leaned over into Dormé’s side.

Please tell me you’ve recorded all that, Dormé!”

“Of course, m’lady! Who do you think I am?” She looked up from her transparisteel pad with an offended expression, teasing smile on her lips. Padmé had a pricy holonet projector that had conjured up little glowing models of the dancing Jedi on her low center table, but Dormé favored her pad with its physical screen for the full color viewing she got. Of course, she had recorded both versions of the show for one of her closest friends.

Sabé burst out laughing from the other side of the senator. Padmé and Dormé both looked over to her, eager to find out what was so funny. Sabé was scrolling through a text-based holonet site on her fully-holographic pad, fingers dancing through air around blue characters.

“People are already theorizing about your husband and General Kenobi! I’m on a fan site and these rabid beings have already dissected every instant they were broadcast, hemming and hawing about how they’re ‘obviously so in love’!”

“Already? It’s barely been five minutes standard!”

“You know how they are, Dormé. Need I remind you of that site we stumbled upon that swore up and down that we were sleeping with Padmé? With all that incredible analysis and interpretation!” The two women laughed and Padmé grinned around a fruit. That certainly had been an experience. And if she was a subject of speculation among the masses of the holonet as a reasonably well-known senator, those two Jedi had it so much worse.

As if reading her thoughts, Sabé chimed in, “Remember that arguement we stumbled upon between two whole factions of fanbeings over which one of them took charge in the bedroom?”

“Or the one about how Ahsoka is actually their legal adoptive daughter?” Dormé added, nudging her side.

“Or the one with completely credible evidence that supposedly proves that Anakin likes when Obi-Wan pulls his hair?” Sabé snickered. “They’ll have some more support for that theory after today, won’t they!”

The three women laughed and cuddled closer. Padmé threw an arm around both of their shoulders and pulled them in conspiratorially. “I bet that even the most ‘respectable’ gossip channels will be using this footage in the next scandal.”

“Well we already knew that, Padmé. I bet that if Sabé would be so kind as to go to the lower levels she could pick up an actual flimsimag with those illustrious Jedi printed across the front!”

“Oh my stars you’re totally right!” Sabé gasped around her choking laughter. “Do either of you want anything while I’m down there? I swear I’ll eat my wig if there aren’t at least three full-color flimsimags already being printed.”

“Some emerald wine from that cheap liquor shop down on 30th would be nice.”

“Just bring back as many different flimsis as you can find with those two on the cover, Sabé. Dormé and I will queue up some fan theory videos while we wait for you.”

“Oh, while you’re doing that, don’t forget about that human girl we discovered last time. You know, the one who changed her name to Anaka Skytrotter? I bet she’s scheduled a livestream of her own tonight. Her theories are the best.”

“We won’t forget, Sabé.” Dormé was already searching both on her personal pad and on Sabé’s. “Now go, if you can follow our lady’s orders for once.”

Both former-handmaidens-turned-bodyguards roared with laughter and Padmé just sighed with a fond smile. Sabé left and the other two women dissolved into giggles as they searched around for videos made by fanbeings who were convinced that her husband was married to his best friend. Which he was, just not the best friend they were thinking of.

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