holonet stars

I’ve noticed that, by all accounts, Anakin and Obi-Wan are A list celebrities in the galaxy far far away. However, they seem to have escaped the hellscape that is the celebrity treatment. I’m talkin’ forced into talk shows, hounded by rabid fans, and having every action dissected. I’ve decided to subject these boys to that.


Author's note

I’m making this all up as I go along please be nice to me!!!

2. author likes writing dialogue

“We will be right back to interview today’s guests after a few messages from our sponsors. Thank you for tuning in to Dancing Stars and we will be right back!”

The host had to yell into his audio amplifiers to be heard over the howling of the studio. The twin generals walked over to join him in the sitting area while they waited for the crowd to calm down. They both still nodded and shot dazzling smiles at the audience, familiar with how to relax their frantic fans. The two sat opposite their host on a low slung loveseat, the same cream color as the Rodian’s chair. A serving droid whizzed in and the two relayed their requests, audience members closest straining to hear what they were over the roar of the rest. Loud shushing erupted and quickly hushed the room, though too late to eavesdrop on their favorite Jedi’s favorite beverages.

“Thanks again for inviting us here, Grenna. We really needed a change from all this war business.” Anakin Skywalker leaned on the arm of the sofa, propping his chin on his hand. His smile softened into fondness as he turned towards his companion.

“What my young friend meant to say was that we are both very grateful for this opportunity and we both appreciate the regard you extended to us.” Obi-Wan Kenobi sat up straight, back away from the cushions, but his tone was teasing as he sent a warm smile back at the other Jedi.

“What he said.”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and the audience laughed. They were all feeling extremely lucky: not only had they watched the two heroes dance with each other in person, but they got to see them so comfortable with the other. None could recall having seen the Jedi so relaxed and open on the Holonet broadcasts of the war front. Plus, they were the only beings witnessing the happenings onstage. It’s a commercial break after all!

“Well, generals, I must say that the honor—and an honor it is, before you say anything—is ours. Your dancing was breathtaking, and we are so very glad you chose to spend some of your leave time here with us here on Dancing Stars.”

The droid returned and handed Obi-Wan a teacup and Anakin a smooth glass. As it departed, Grenna spied a flashing light behind the audience and smoothed out his jacket. Both Jedi sat forward and their happy expressions faded to a more polite interest.

“Welcome back to Dancing Stars! Live from Courscant. If you are just joining us, I am Grenna, your host for today, and these are our illustrious performers, Jedi generals of the Open Circle fleet, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker!”

The studio audience clapped and cheered, containing their enthusiasm so they could still hear everything going on up on the stage. Grenna turned to his two guests.

“Generals, that was some beautiful dancing. Simply breathtaking! What was that?”

Anakin sipped at his glass as Obi-Wan answered.

“When we were invited onto your show, we wanted to choose something familiar rather than choreograph something ourselves. We apologize, but it was such short notice,” Grenna waved off the apology, “Obviously for time constraints we couldn’t dance the full voiceless opera for you,” some grumbling from the crowd, Anakin shot a quick smirk at his friend, “so we decided the summary arrangement for The Jedi and The King would be ideal.”

“It was short notice, wasn’t it!” Grenna laughed gently. “How did you two learn it so quickly? While you made it look easy, I’ve heard many a dancer complain about the difficult routine.”

Anakin whipped his head to the side and grinned ferociously at the Jedi in white.

“Second question in and we already got to the part you were dreading, Master!”

To the audience’s absolute shock, Obi-Wan actually audibly sighed before sagging against the back of the sofa.

“I was not dreading anything, my former Padawan. Keep in mind that this story could be just as embarrassing for you.”

“So you admit that it embarrasses you! And besides, I have less shame than you.”

The whole studio struggled to contain their reactions. Were they actually about to bear witness to carefree Jedi? These two respected and loved figures needling each other? Twin heroes of the Republic, teasing and laughing at each other like little boys? Even ever unflappable Grenna seemed awed at the comradarie and affection obviously shown between members of the famously emotionless Order.

“Nearly four years ago, it was getting close to my Padawan’s eighteenth birthday. Around that time, the Courscanti Opera House down in the mid levels was presenting the full Jedi and King—“

“So my cultured master, in some scheme to get me off of his back for gifts, dragged me down as an early birthday present.”

“Jedi to not want for possessions, Padawan!” The two had spoken in sync and the crowd laughed in delight. It was nearly too good to be true! But the truth was right in their faces as the shorter man hid a laugh in his teacup, tucking his boots up on the couch to get more comfortable.

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” the other snorted, “my then-current Padawan and I watched the full voiceless opera. To my never ending shock, Anakin absolutely loved it. All he could talk about for hours after was how ‘wizard’ it all was and spouting random facts about it he had somehow accumulated.”

“And finally when my actual birthday did roll around, all I asked my master for was to teach me the full opera.”

“More like begged!” Obi-Wan muttered.

“I never beg!” Anakin responded with an affronted scoff and a smile.

“Really? I seem to remember that time—“

Anyways,” the taller man cut in over the chuckling of the audience, “my Master and I worked hard at it and learned the whole thing finally after a month.”

“Just a month?!” Grenna was floored.

“More like a month and a half standard, because I had an overeager Padawan who didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘careful’. He was determined to play the role of the King, so the very first day he tried to pick me up. Believe it or not,” he smirked conspiratorially at the crowd, “Anakin Skywalker used to be unable to lift me with just brute strength. This man tried to hoist me up by my hips, and when he failed, used the force to fling me over his head, causing me to kick him in said head. After Jedi general Skywalker somehow managed to both twist my ankle and give himself a light concussion,” he laughed with his audience, “he spent the next few weeks standard building up his strength purely to be able to perform his preferred role in an opera!”

“You seem to be leaving out a crucial detail there, master!”

“I’ve shared all facts relevant to this story!” He responded a little too promptly.

“Oh, I think this is very relevant to the story. What Jedi general Kenobi didn’t say was that I built up my strength by carrying him around everywhere!”

“It was your idea in the first place! And besides, my ankle was healing!” Obi-Wan’s voice was slightly higher as he furiously tried to save his pride.

“Healing for two weeks? Just admit it, you liked being doted on.”

“Being doted on? Why you insufferable, ungrateful—“ He lashed out with a kick. Anakin caught his ankle and yanked his former master across the loveseat and into his lap.

“You see,” “Anakin, my tea!” he ignored the complaint, “Obi-Wan declined the healers’ offers to heal his ankle on the spot,” “It was only sprained, might I remind you!” “And rather than watch my poor master suffer around on crutches, I offered to carry him, and he didn’t even complain! He even pointed out to me that it could help me get stronger for the opera.” Anakin rose from the sofa and strolled onstage with his struggling companion to the uproarus laughter of the audience. Obi-Wan finally went limp but everyone could see his shoulders shaking with barely contained mirth.

“So the secret of Anakin Skywalker’s workout routine is out: just carry around another person for a month!” Grenna they back his head and laughed.

“It’s been more than a month, now. I always seem to be carrying General Kenobi out of danger.”

“Not always, Anakin. And besides, you usually don’t carry me like a child.” As if to emphasize his point, Obi-Wan smacked his friend in the chest. “Now let me down!”

Anakin complied and the smaller man made a show of huffily straightening up his tunics. He finally settled his hands on his hips and glared up at the other, smiling all the while.

“Although, I must admit we end up dragging each other around more often than not. Do I even weigh anything to you at this point?”

“Not really,” he fell in step with the other as they walked back to the sofa and their drinks, “it’s like holding a couple of grapes.”

“You’re lucky, then. Every time I have the opportunity to rescue you, it’s always after you’ve eaten a ton of permacrete.” Obi-Wan took a long sip of tea and Grenna, though loathing interrupting the banter between the two, use the opportunity to ask another question.

“How have you two had the opportunity to practice during the war? You made it sound like you both still know the full opera, and you obviously know the summary arrangement for Jedi and King. How in the galaxy did you find the time to rehearse over these past four years?”

“We haven’t practiced.”

“What?!” Grenna gaped.

“No need to brag, Anakin!” Obi-Wan chided from where he was curled up on the couch.

“It’s the truth!” He looked sufficiently sheepish. “We practiced so much in those few weeks that it’s muscle memory at this point. It’s the Force,” Obi-Wan lifted a finger off the rim of his teacup and his partner’s hair stood straight up, “it allows us to learn and memorize things extremely easily, as well as enhancing our natural abilities. And weren’t you just lecturing me about frivolous use of the Force, Master?” He finally connected the audience’s quiet snickering with the smirk on his friend’s face.

“We’re on leave, Anakin, and we’ve already been acting unbefitting Jedi. The Council will forgive us for one day.”

“In that case,” Anakin raised his glass and his companion floated up off the couch and hovered a meter above the loveseat, “why don’t you take a load off, Master.”

“Very funny, you absolute youngling.” Obi-Wan managed after the hooting and hollering had died down.

Grenna drew a breath to ask something else but before he could, Skywalker’s commlink lit up. He stared at it for a second as his easy smile faded and he gently lowered the Jedi in white down onto his feet as he rose himself.

“Our apologies, Grenna, but it seems duty calls, even on leave. Thank you for a fantastic day, and good afternoon to you all.” Obi-Wan bowed deeply to the studio, Anakin following suit a moment later. The silence that had fallen as the comm blinked was finally broken when the twin generals disappeared into the wings of the stage. The studio screamed in confusion and upset and Grenna yelled into his audio amplifiers once more.

“Thank you for tuning in to Dancing Stars, live from Courscant. Have a wonderful day and we will see you next week!”

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