Celeste derived form old Latin translating to heavenly yet the girl who wears the name is anything but, in fact she seems to be have been spit out from the depths of hell.
Alec and Celeste have an agreement but this agreement is proving to be harder for Alec to maintain than he would've thought.
He's falling for her and that's a breach to their contract in her words he's just a smart, safe and easy fuck nothing more.
He thought he would've liked this contract after all it's what he wanted with Sheila but Sheila loved him too damn much. However Celeste isn't Sheila or like any of those other girls. Celeste is different, she's a challenge because unlike the other girls it was quite easy getting into her pants, it's just harder for him to slither his way into her armoured heart.


4. Friday


Friday night came quicker than expected, none of us were prepared.

Kyle had refused to leave the house claiming that he’d agreed to go together with Celeste and she was nowhere to be found. She wasn’t answering calls, texts and I was sure she was back in town, I knew she wasn’t staying at school though; Marv and her had apparently rented a room.

After some convincing and assurances he finally got into the car but we’d miss the start of the show, good thing he was part of the fourth – I think – and last performance.

We parted ways and he went backstage while I had to circle around to get in through the main entrance. The first row had labelled seats and next to mine was Celeste’s. It looked odd in comparison to all the Mr and Mrs, the Mr and Mr or the Mrs and Mrs, it was just Celeste and Alec.

I sat on my seat and prayed that if there was a God up there he’d deliver Celeste into this seat.

When the red and blue lights started flickering I knew I was screwed, she still wasn’t here yet and his performance was starting. This is going to crush him so fucking much.

I remember how it felt the first time mum swore she’d be at my big game but never came. I eventually got used to it but I never wanted this for him. I shouldn’t have let him get so attached to her.

 There was some fumbling on stage before the MC announced that this performance would be skipped because the lead dancer had an issue. I immediately sprung from my seat and made my way backstage where there was so much going on.

“He’s over there,” a teacher I’m assuming pointed me in the direction of some corner. I nodded in thanks and made my way over there not seeing him, I realised he must be behind the black curtain type thing and I was right. There he was curled up into a ball holding himself as he rocked back and forth.

“I don’t know why I thought she’d be here, mummy and daddy weren’t and mummies and daddies are supposed to love and protect you but they weren’t here.”

I got on my knees and held him by the shoulders forcing him to look into my eyes. “I know deep in my bones that if she could be here she would’ve been here cheering you on the loudest.”

“I know she’s in town Alec,” he whispers and looks away as more tears fall. I feel so fucking helpless.

“There must be a good reason-” he cuts me off before I can continue. “I’m seven not stupid, you always say that about Mum and Dad but I know we wouldn’t be poor if they missed one day of work to be there for me. I just have to accept that the only person who’s going to always be there for me is you, I want a mum, I want a dad but I have a brother and I’m okay with that.”

I hugged him before he could see the tears that were welling up in my own eyes. “The show must go on,” he pulls away and stands. At this age he already has to be this strong. I stepped out of the back because the teacher insisted I couldn’t just do that again and I had to take proper channels in and out of the auditorium.

I didn’t mind too much it would give me time to breathe.

Or at least I thought.

Outside there was a screaming match between a crazy looking woman in a red tutu who could only be Celeste and I assume the other person is Marv. She was doing most of the screaming and it was all in Lithla; I could speak Simbi but I only understood Lithla.

“You don’t understand!”

“Then make me understand, please,” he was begging her at this point but she just paced.

“Every single decision I’ve made from the age of fucking eight has been for everyone else except me I just want to make one decision for me!”

“What are you talking about?”

Yeah what is she talking about?

“Celeste as much as you want to be there for that kid you can’t go in there drunk.”

“Why fucking not?!”

For the most part he seemed calm while she seemed like she was making sure the whole of the world heard her.

“Celeste,” he practically growled.

“I’m going to hate myself for missing this and it’s going to be all you fucking fault,” she was poking his chest at the last part making sure to stress on each word.

“No, it’s going to be your fault because you chose to get drunk.”

“It’s not fair!”

“What’s not fair?”

“Everything’s not fair. Why does he have to suffer and I’m not suffering?”

“Who’s suffering?”

She paced some more until she finally just gave up and sat cross legged on the concrete floor.


“He’ll be fine,” he assured her.

“I lied, he woke up when we were alone and he reached for me tears in his eyes and I thought he was going to tell me it was all going to be okay that it was going to be fine and….and he called for me I leant closer and he begged me, Marv he begged me, he begged me to end it all of it, all of his suffering and I,” I almost can’t breathe as I wait for what she’ll say next, “I couldn’t Marv, I couldn’t,” she breaks into heart wrenching sobs.

“I should have done it because now he’s suffering…..you should see the way his eyes follow me around the room he’s begging me but I just can’t, I want to, for him but I just can’t. I’m too selfish.”

“It doesn’t make you selfish Celeste. You want your baba-go and that’s completely understandable. I’m sure he understands.”

She just shakes and cries into him. “Remember when I told you there are some burdens you won’t be able to carry that will never be too heavy for me.”

“I can’t ask you to do this,” she shakes her head detaching herself from him. “He begged me, Marv.”

He cups her face into his hands, “I’ve always said you’re an extension of me that makes me an extension of you, you can’t do this but I can.”

“I can’t, I won’t let you,”

“No, you’ve carried my weight plenty of times when I have failed and I promised to carry yours forever, it will never be too much for me. This isn’t going to be too much for me.”

I couldn’t take this anymore so I did the cowards thing and went back inside ignoring my heart racing and the tears that were willing to escape their very comfortable glands.

I sat in my seat and pretended I hadn’t just witnessed that, by the time I had arrived they were a few more performances left before Kyle’s closing number.

Before I knew it there he was still in his red tutu the only difference is that he had on black leather fingerless gloves like Celeste was wearing and a plain black t-shirt that had his name in sparkling red.

He was all fidgety as he walked to the mic everyone was gushing at how cute this was and how tiny he was.

“I was supposed to sing Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean but I’ll do a friend’s favourite it’s Angel by the weeknd,” his tiny voice is gush worthy through the mic and the song starts.

His tries but his voice doesn’t come out at least not until a certain someone starts for him.

 “I said angel oh oh oh oh, I feel you’re closer every time that I call you, I call you.” She’s in her red tutu wearing a similar shirt with Kyle in sparkles at the front.

He smiles wide and he sings along with her. “Cause all I see are wings, oh I can see your wings but I know what I am and the life I live, yeah,  the life I live, and even though I sin, baby we are born to live. But I know time will tell if we’re meant for this, yeah if were meant for this.

And if we’re not I hope you find somebody

I hope you find somebody, I hope you find somebody

I hope you find somebody to love, somebody to love, somebody to love, yeah, yeah, yeah.”

She lets him sing the rest of the song by himself taking a seat beside me. “I’m glad you came,” I let my fingers intertwine with hers and she doesn’t pull away. There’s more I wish I could say and do for her but sadly all I can do is hold her hand for now.

His voice cracks a few times but this is a hard song for a seven year old and every time he does Celeste is always there to help him. She doesn’t have an idol winning voice but she does a healthy amount of singing that she doesn’t sound completely out of tune.

Once his performance is done he jumps off stage and runs to her and it’s only then I realise both their shirts have Celeste on the back in the same glittery design that Kyle is written in. When did they even make these?

He sits on her lap animatedly chatting with her as if he didn’t just have a breakdown less than an hour ago. There’s the closing remarks with all those vote of thanks shit and finally we lead out, Kyle comfortably holding both our hands.

He runs off to Mindy and she praises him just as much as Celeste did except she doesn’t shower him in an unnecessary amount of kisses.

Before I can say anything to Celeste a teacher pulls me to the side.

“Kyle is one of a kind,” she remarks with a smile on her face but I can tell she wouldn’t have pulled me away if she was only going to be praising him. “I know get to the point.”

“Celeste has been a really good influence on Kyle for the most part, she’s motivated him to do work she’s helped him with rehearsals, he no longer keeps opinions to himself, she’s helped him crack that shell of his but she’s not his mother. She won’t be there for all the hard bits of his life, she’s only a teenager she has her own life that she has to keep up with and from what I understand she’s your girlfriend and that’s where their relationship stems from let’s say the two of you broke up, he’d be without her it would wreck him, I’m just trying to say maybe she should slowly get a bit less involved.

Kyle’s in a fragile state he might start thinking of her as more of a mum than he should.”

“Celeste and I are actually currently on the outs and her relationship with Kyle has nothing to do with me. I’ve dated plenty of girls and Kyle’s never liked a single one enough to form this attachment to.

He can talk to her about things that he won’t talk to me about and she’ll help him way better than I can and keep them to herself, he reaches out to her and yes I understand that she’s not his mum but I’m the only parent Kyle has ever actually known, Celeste may not be there forever but she’s more of his mum right now than his biological mother is so I’d rather preserve the relationship between them as long as I can.”

“It’s going to hurt more for him when she gets sick of it, she may love him but as I said she’s a teenager, she has her whole life ahead of her she’s not just going to adopt a child.”

What was this woman’s mission?

“We both saw how wrecked Kyle was when she didn’t show, he already has abandonment issues don’t add someone else in his life when you know she won’t stay.”

“So what do you propose I do; take away the only mother he’s ever known?”

“I see you won’t budge on the issue.”

“There is no issue,” rudely I turn my back on her and plan to walk away dramatically until I see Celeste and Marv standing together with her laughing. She looks so tiny in comparison to him, he must be a whole foot taller than her.

She seems much more at ease around him like they didn’t just have a screaming match. I wonder what compelled him to let her come in if she was still drunk. I couldn’t tell she was drunk and I wouldn’t have suspected if I hadn’t caught that part of their conversation.

Kyle walks over to them without Mindy at his side. I stand closer just in case there’s any confusion that Kyle needs clearing.

“I’m Marv,” he introduces with a charming smile outstretching his hand to my little brother. He had to bend a lot so that they were eye level. “Kyle,” he smiles shaking his hand firmly. “Is he your boyfriend?” he asks Celeste quickly cutting to the chase.

“Not anymore,” Marv answers for her. “You’re huge,” he comments taking Marv in who just shrugs.

Not anymore

“He eats twelve dozen eggs,” Celeste chuckles to herself, most of the time when she tries to crack a joke it’s either not funny or just inappropriate so she’s the only one actually laughing and I’m just laughing because I like her.

She has a hilarious laugh it wasn’t the kind you heard in movies or the other girls and it was never the same. Sometimes she sounded like a dying cat that got hit by a car and is miserably failing at try to get air in it’s lungs or she sounded like one of those cackling Disney witches or like the hyenas in that movie about the Simba kid or like now where it wasn’t audible but shake of her shoulders and facial expression told you she was laughing.

Okay I’ll admit all her laughs are horrible and completely unpredictable.

“Oh it was funny,” she nudges Marv in the ribs who just rolls his eyes. “To you maybe, text me when and where to pick you up don’t get drunk,” he warns with his eyes before kissing her on the cheek and walking away. She watches him walking away attentively paying very close attention to his ass. Can’t she have some form of shame?

“He’s really huge,” Kyle says again shaking his head also watching him walk to his car. “Okay so I’ll be going back home tonight again and you only have me for a few hours, what do you want to do?”

He raises on his tip toes and she bends down a little and he whispers quite loudly in her ear, “Mall models.”

“I like the way you think,” she smirks and they interlock pinkies then stamp their thumbs together.

“How would you like to be our chauffeur for the night?”

“Until ten o’clock,” I say and they look at each other before nodding in unison.

“We can live with that.”

“Let me guess the mall?” I ask with a sweet smile on my face. “How does he know?” Kyle whispers quite loudly but I pretend I can’t hear him. “He must read minds,” she shrugs whispering in the same tone.

“Oh please like people can read minds,” he rolls his eyes with a scoff. “I don’t know then,” she pretends to pout.

“Shall we?” she outstretches her hand for him to take. “We shall,” he nods and the walk towards the car hand in hand. It’s quite the sight watching them walk away in red tutus, finger less gloves with shirts written Celeste in sparkles.

Why couldn’t I just fall for Sheila I wouldn’t end up in such in explicable situations?

I walked ahead of them to get to the car first and opened the door to the front passenger seat where I knew they’d both be sitting.

It took about forty five minutes to get to the mall leaving them with two hours to roam around the mall that seemed to be always full even at odd hours.

“Meet back here at ten?” she asked and I nodded. She started walking away with Kyle but I grabbed her hand to stop her.

“Did I forget something?” her eyebrows knot together. Looking at her now I realise just how fucking much I’ve missed her and how I still miss her. “I just wanted to know if you need money for him,” I mutter and she rolls her eyes.

“Marv lost a bet I’m balling right now besides if I’m spoiling Kyle I’m spoiling him with my own money.”

She pulls her hand away and they walk off chatting about only Lord knows what.

It’s a tedious two hours for me and I got tired just wandering around the mall after thirty minutes. Every necklace I saw begged me to buy it for Celeste but last time I got her a gift she threw it right back in my face.

She did have a ‘legitimate’ reason claiming that inanimate objects with eyes were much easier to turn into what she referred to as a ‘chithumwa’ and she doesn’t have room for witchcraft in her life. Southerners were quite superstitious sometimes.

“I’ve been looking all over for you he passed out after a while,” she appears out of fucking nowhere with Kyle in her arms who’s wearing this weird feather bead head band and his lips are coloured a deep shade of red.

“Do I want to know?” I ask taking him from her arms. “He had fun,” she smiles and I also notice that her lips are painted the same shade and she has a similar head band. He shifts a little before settling back to sleep on my shoulder.

“I texted Marv he’ll be here any minute now, you two can go he should get into a proper bed.”

The mention of his name has my skin crawling even though I know they’re no longer an item.

“Are you really okay?” I ask in the middle of the crowded mall, I know. “Maybe we should sit down in a café or something?”

“Kay sure,” she just shrugs and we walk to the nearest café in the mall that’s buzzing with life but luckily has a quiet area. She quickly types a text probably informing Marv where to find her.

She orders two hot chocolates and two pieces of chocolate cake then asks me what I want. I just ask for a hot chocolate and sandwich in case Kyle wakes up.

“You were saying,” she raises a brow once that’s settled.

“I was asking if everything’s alright.”

“Yeah, it actually all is, don’t worry about it,” she brushes it off. “Was he disappointed that your mum didn’t show tonight?”

“He thought you weren’t going to show up either he was wrecked.”

“I know, he told me and I apologised, he doesn’t entirely forgive me yet but he says we’re getting there.”

We sit in an awkward silence before our orders arrive. Since I’m facing the entrance of the quiet area I see Marv walk in and he spots us on the booth after searching a while. She jumps a little when he appears but turns with a small smile either way only to have him firmly plant his lips on hers.

“Boundaries,” she pulls away turning to her right where there’s only the wall to see her flustered expression.

“Habit,” he smiles apologetically. She pushes the other slice of chocolate cake towards him along with the hot chocolate. “Ten o’clock snack, I’m impressed,” he nudges her and she rolls her eyes.

“Did someone live out her New Orleans twenties fantasy?” He asks and I wonder what he means but she seems to understand because she smiles wide. “We were flappers for eight whole minutes we even got to dance to a jazzy twenties song.”

“There has to be a video.”

“Of course there is and I had beads and the dress and it was magical, probably the most magical eight minutes of my life.” Her eyes are sparkling as she says the smile never leaving her face.

“You’ll have to show it to me sometime.”

“Obviously but right now I think I drained my last bit of battery percentage texting you.”

He pushes the remaining half of his slice towards her. Her raises an eyebrow almost as if challenging her to say something, she just huffs and he nods with a triumphant smile.

“So when are you leaving?” my mind compels me to ask especially after that little exchange eyes on Marv. “I guess tomorrow early maybe around two so we’re there way before lunch.”

He drinks his hot chocolate and makes a face. She takes it from him and takes a quick sip and she almost spills the hot chocolate. “This is fucking scalding!” she practically shouts. “It’s lukewarm,” he says and she shakes her head muttering something under her breath.

“Did you burn your tongue?”

“Of course I did, I think your mouth receptors are dead or something that was so fucking hot.”

Kyle stirs in his sleep and when he puts his thumb in his mouth I know he isn’t going back to sleep for another hour or so. Just fucking great.

“You woke him up,” there’s no filtering my annoyance with the two of them. “I’m not awake,” Kyle mutters peeking out with one eye.

“Want a snack while you sleep?”

“Sleeping people don’t eat.”

They don’t talk either.

“Okay Kyle,” I agree not wanting to argue with him. He’s probably really tired. He’s been anticipating this night for more than a month now and it was finally over plus the trip to the mall as well he should be passed out but I guess they were too loud.

“Since he’s not going to eat I guess we should go, you were right I should get him into bed.”

“Always am, tell him I’ll be back soon when he wakes up.”

“I sure will,” I smile genuinely at her then nod at Marv before exiting the place. I couldn’t sit in there as they practically undressed each other all night long. I wasn’t just a spectator in someone’s life that isn’t how I am.


Luckily he’d fallen asleep in the car on our way home and all I had to do was tuck him in. I kicked off my shoes and I somehow ended up once more facing the hard task of selecting an alcohol that would make sleeping tonight easier.

I needed something to dull the image of Celeste laughing with him.

Maybe I should call Sheila

The only action I’d gotten for a whole week has been from my hand while either watching random strangers go at it from behind a screen or watching Celeste behind a screen and imagining what she’d be doing to me.

I think this will be the longest I’m going to stay without sex ever since I started fucking.

Despite seeking the familiar pleasure a good fuck brings I go for the liquor bottle instead because for some inexplicable reason I don’t want anyone but her.

Is this what love will always feel like?”






I was going to update earlier but something demotivated me the next chapter will be up tomorrow and longer than this one and with much more substance.


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