Letters To Myself

Book cover made by Movellas user Lily Anna!

*Completed standalone YA novel approx 57,000 words*

Winner of Nanowrimo 2017!

Seventeen year old Morwenna is struggling as a student in her school's sixth form. On top of that, she has to deal with a creepy house nearby with mysterious visions, her Mum expecting a baby and exploring privately her sexuality and identity. When things get rough at home, she decides to leave and start afresh but at what cost? Written in a mixture of diary entries/letters, poetry and prose, Letter To Myself tracks the life of a young girl over the course of a single year.

Only edited for spelling and grammar mistakes, plotline has not been edited. Suggested readership is 15+.


40. 40.

Dear Myself,
I have totally lost count how many times I've heard the songs Monster Mash and Thriller over the last few days. It's on all the adverts, radio, students at College playing the song for a joke, everywhere and there's nowhere for you, the poor soul to hide. Michelle crept in whilst I was getting ready for work placement and blasted Monster Mash from her phone. End result? I chased her out of my room swearing, brushed my hair and removed the fake nose stud so that I wouldn't get told off. Her Mum heard me swear and asked if anything was wrong, I replied back that Halloween songs are wrong! Both of us were at the work placement over the Halloween day and it was spooky from the get-go. Our team leader had decorated the walls with toilet paper and ghost masks that glowed in the dark whenever we switched all the lights off. The kids were told to come in fancy dress but not us adults which I preferred since scaring the poor things would get me sacked most likely.

I did enjoy the designing though, the plain boards normally used for displaying important messages was hidden amongst the orange paper chains that someone must have quickly done the previous night. Nevertheless, we did sneak in some sweets and watched a cute film called Hotel Transylvania on the little TV in the corner making the kids giggle with delight. Michelle was busy answering the phone and booking in some new cuties that will arrive next week and join up the rest of us. The nursery is very popular and has a long waiting list, often, a space is freed either by a kid withdrawing or some extra funding is put in. In reality though, more kids needs more people to keep an eye on them and that's why the College course was created. I'm so proud of her for not getting flustered when she goes to answer the phone, speaking to anyone down the line creeps me out.

I do have some big writing news I need to share though, I'm participating in Nanowrimo! For a few weeks now, I've been weighing up the pros and cons about taking part and attempting the scary 50,000 target but what reminded me was that YOLO and first drafts always suck so I said to myself on the bus home… Let's do this! Obviously, I had to come up with a concept, some sort of character creation and chapters planning for it to work but once I did, I was totally satisfied for now that the novel could be a breeze and easy to get through. Is it OK diary if I cheated a little bit? I started writing the prologue yesterday and finished it early this morning but hopefully it is the start of something adventurous and awesome!

There was a knock
One knock
All crashing down on the wooden door
Our lives in danger
Future at stake
We need to run
And not hesitate

I could sense the fear written across my mother’s face, she had tried for so long to keep my birth and identity a secret from some of the residents in the town. They knew lots of juicy secrets about my family, grandmother, robbed and beaten in broad daylight. The father I never knew, walked out and never returned. From the start, I was doomed, death written across my forehead and flames about to burn. Never to fall in love or to travel the world safely, I was trapped in the very walls that were meant to keep me safe.

Maya, you have to run now
Otherwise you will fall to your knees
Sacrificed in front of your loved one
Leaving won't be easy

My mind felt torn, mother couldn't run as fast as me but then again, I need to be brave enough to actually stand up to these people and crush their egos to the ground. I touched my wrist, feeling the pulses grow stronger and stronger in fear. At fifteen, you should never witness the falling of the only person in your lifetime so far that has kept you going, educated you, cuddled you to sleep. This is all messed up.

I'm leaving you Mother, I'm so sorry

She quickly ushers me out towards the open kitchen window at the back of our apartment which to our relief, had no enemies cornering the ladders and balconies that surrounded the blocks of apartments. In a little bag, food, change of clothes, a torch, baby teddy which I've had since birth, all are thrown in with such force that the straps almost break off.

Thanks for everything Mother

She kisses me on the top of my head and squeezes my hand, I will always love and value her efforts to develop me into the person she wanted to see in my body. Kind, caring, heartwarming soul, no trace of evil in my bones, blood or skin. It's too late to try and help her escape, she will face the ultimate price to keep me alive. As quick as a flash, I dash out and tiptoe quickly across the walls just as I hear the loud crashing of the door giving away. I don't look back until I hear the throaty scream which makes my hairs on both arms stand up on end.

It's over and you Maya are next

Oooooo how scary of me to leave the story at such a cliffhanger! But if there's one thing in books I hate, it's the very last chapter of a story ending on a cliffhanger. That just… annoys me since I either have to wait ages to borrow the next book in the series or wait a million months for the new release. Anyway, I am super excited to start blogging about my experiences writing my second book. Sometimes if my anxiety is playing up, I like to read an old chapter draft from Haley’s story I wrote for Camp Nanowrimo and laugh at my rubbish jokes I tried to write as part of the plotline.

If I do succeed, I'll eat bucket loads of ice-cream to celebrate and treat Michelle to a date, she is my guiding light after all. Till next time.



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