Letters To Myself

Book cover made by Movellas user Lily Anna!

*Completed standalone YA novel approx 57,000 words*

Winner of Nanowrimo 2017!

Seventeen year old Morwenna is struggling as a student in her school's sixth form. On top of that, she has to deal with a creepy house nearby with mysterious visions, her Mum expecting a baby and exploring privately her sexuality and identity. When things get rough at home, she decides to leave and start afresh but at what cost? Written in a mixture of diary entries/letters, poetry and prose, Letter To Myself tracks the life of a young girl over the course of a single year.

Only edited for spelling and grammar mistakes, plotline has not been edited. Suggested readership is 15+.


33. 33.

Dear Myself,
So this week was the start of returning to education but not trying to remember what the classrooms I used to sit in look like or the attitudes of former classmates after the long summer break. Instead, I was finding myself lost down long, winding corridors that never seemed to end. The first day getting up was definitely the hardest, Michelle was already up before me and was trying to make sandwiches for our lunch later on after morning welcome classes. For the first time, I found myself having arguments about what to wear either sticking to the normal clothes or switching things up a little. Finally, I settled on a checked shirt with jeans and my hair tied back into a ponytail.

On arriving down at the campus, the crowds of people holding cigarettes or even McDonald's happy meals made me cringe a little inside. Only my cousin used to smoke in the family and woe betide anyone else in the household that is caught having a smoke! Michelle whispered in my ear that these sights were all normal and just go along with it. She knows all the insides and outs of the campus, favourite hang-outs, best time to buy food etc. Super glad that I can rely on her to tell me everything. Her story is quite different, she simply decided that A-Levels were not her kind of thing so came straight down to the City College instead without batting an eyelid to subjects such as Science and English Literature. From some of the students standing outside, I tried to tell what course they were starting. The guys all wearing construction type clothes such as a high-visibility jacket got me thinking about Carpentry and Engineering. A couple of girls with pale uniforms on and heavy make-up on show got me guessing that maybe they were studying hair and beauty.

Together, we were able to find the right classroom which had half a dozen students (all girls) sat around a wide table in near silence. Their faces I didn't recognise from anywhere but they did look younger than myself and Michelle so school leavers effectively. Once our class started at 9am on the dot, there were thirteen of us in total including a guy that tried to engage in conversation but all of our nerves meant that none of us could speak. One of our lecturers is called Tammy and she first started explaining about the Childcare sector herself and what appealed to her about looking after children. The innocence they still have, the desire to create and play and explore, I could really relate to that. Next followed an introductory discussion involving all of us about our names, goals, ages, why we wanted to be students at the City College. Talking about myself at times can be frightening so I didn't mention about my blog or love of books just yet. Michelle did speak about her previous floristry experience and how that taught her more about patience because around children, you have to be patient and let them show something exciting they have found.

Getting the massive folders next that we have to take home with us to fill out worksheets and evidence for when the work placements start up, my back started to ache a little just with the thought. With the help of the therapy appointment I had back in the summer, I was able to work out that my GAD also made my back sore and painful whenever something happens to me such as trying to carry a lot of new things I'm not used to. I might need to get a medical note if it becomes too much of a struggle. Since I don't have to resit a GCSE, I don't need to return back to the campus in the late evenings after work for classes much to my relief. Some of the school leaving students do however and I truly do feel sorry for them. At sixteen, they’re going to have to balance work, college and free time. Goodness knows how that will work out well!

For lunch, since the weather was nice and warm outside, myself, Michelle and one of the girls from the new course called Kayla all went to the local park and sat down close to some other groups of students excitingly talking about a new album being released in the early hours of Friday morning. At the time of writing this, it's Saturday and on listening to that album, I'm not as positive about it then they were. The little mini picnic we had was enjoyable but trying to dodge the seagulls was another adventure within itself. Trust me birds, you won't find a tuna sandwich a comfortable place to sit! So far, I'm finding the whole atmosphere to be a lot more relaxed, the course and aims are still very serious but I like the fact that someone isn't sat on your shoulder every minute of the day at sixth form and telling you to go do this or go off and do that. It's refreshing and appealing to those people (like myself) who really don't want to feel unnecessary stress from teachers.

The afternoon was mainly spent talking about local nurseries in the area and the kinds of children that go each day for morning sessions. There was one close to my old address that I did know about quite a lot but never stepped foot inside it. We can chose our work placement options but because it's so close to old memories and times I want to forget, that nursery is off my radar. Both of us could work at the same place at the same time and fulfil our dreams together which would be the best thing. But it depends what the managers at each nursery are looking for regarding new staff members. I do have plans to buy a fake nose stud though to wear when I'm at College for classes and not working because experimenting seems like a fun thing to attempt. Believing that I won't make my nose bleed in the process that is.

The first week was somewhat more of a welcome week but soon, we will be off working and only going to classes once a week rather than four days. Safely can say I'm looking rather forward to it and making a difference.

Good bye!


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