Letters To Myself

Book cover made by Movellas user Lily Anna!

*Completed standalone YA novel approx 57,000 words*

Winner of Nanowrimo 2017!

Seventeen year old Morwenna is struggling as a student in her school's sixth form. On top of that, she has to deal with a creepy house nearby with mysterious visions, her Mum expecting a baby and exploring privately her sexuality and identity. When things get rough at home, she decides to leave and start afresh but at what cost? Written in a mixture of diary entries/letters, poetry and prose, Letter To Myself tracks the life of a young girl over the course of a single year.

Only edited for spelling and grammar mistakes, plotline has not been edited. Suggested readership is 15+.

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24. 24.

Dear Myself,
So onto this day, a weekend day known as Saturday, is the wedding of my cousin which I along with the rest of my family had been invited to. But obviously since my parents don't know where Michelle lives and I decided during an angry mood to change my phone number, no-one can get hold of me and prefer it to be that way for the time being. This morning at around 5 o’clock, I could hear Michelle sleeping soundly in the next room along from mine and because of this, my mind started to wonder away. Climbing out of bed and switching on the laptop, I started to write. I've written for you Diary a fictional story about my cousin's wedding and in it, there's no sign of any angst from anyone over anything. Staying happy and positive, unlike the current situation.

Wedding Of The Cousin
There she was, dressed from head to toe in such finery that showcased her features off to the waiting souls that had gathered by the alter. He nervously stood, flexing his fingers to stop the shaking that trembled from deep down within. The reflection of the sunlight shine through the stained-glass windows, lighting up the stone walls of the Church that would be a host to this magnificent occasion.

I was waiting for the bride to arrive, beside me was Michelle dressed in a red lace dress and pumps. My outfit consisted of a blue dress with fixed on sequins to the top. Unknown to everyone, the two of us held hands as time ticked on by. As the familiar wedding music to the bridal march started, we gasped as my Uncle slowly led her to the altar then quickly changed into some priest robes since he was also conducting the service. Containing our giggles, I gently stroked my girl’s ring finger reminding how one day, this could be us tying the knot.

The boxes of tissues casually displayed at the end of each aisle saw a number of people grabbing them in a fragile state of emotions. Willing myself to watch the wedding, my parents sat in front of us and Jasmine chatting away in a blabble still not knowing how to speak yet. My Uncle asked if anyone objected to the marriage to which silence filled the room. As the rings were exchanged, I could see the happiness in my cousin's eyes. The moment that she had always dreamt about and cherish for the rest of her life. Kissing to seal the romantic deal of husband and wife, we all clapped and cheered till our hands and throats ached.

The photos started once outside, past the graves of the humans who no longer live with us on this Earth. Some died old, others young but we were here, all of us, no-one could see the presence of the ghosts apart from me. Sensing them all crowded round and watching the event with joy. Hand in hand, the happy couple went off for some photos on their own as I walked on alone to explore. My name was called but in a trance, I didn't respond. Instead, a gravestone caught my eye. A little baby girl who had only lived for seventeen minutes and to this, tears prickled my eyes. So little to die and the details weren't clear why. Michelle found me and wrapped her arms round my waist and saw the tears, the writing on the grave. I look at her even though my gaze is disturbed by the emotional realisation that life and death should be explained more.

Joining up with the family, all of us travelled in the car to the reception for food, speeches and fun. My head rested on her shoulder out of tiredness and the need for rest. We were close together as the reception began with finding tables and tucking into some buffet food served by some waiters dressed in smart uniform. My appetite wasn't strong but still, the sweet treats were tempting to the eye. Loud laughter and chatter from those who had been invited made my anxiety race. Jasmine slept contently in the carrier next to Dad as he took pictures of the venue covered in flowers and bright lights.

Excusing myself, I raced outside into the pretty summer air and kicking off the pumps, spinning around barefoot as I was left to my own devices. The dress flapped up and down as my soul felt free. Spotting a fluffy cat on a bench, I ran over to cuddle it and sure enough, it came into my lap with a mew and fell asleep on me.

That's All I Wrote For That Story But...

Michelle had woken up by this point so I decided to stop writing and get a move on with things, try not to be lazy. However, as I was having a quick wash, she tapped on the door and mentioned that my laptop was still on the document. Freezing with horror, she kissed me and said I needed to write more. Write something random for here or getting a feeling off of my chest so I decided to do just that and here's where my next piece of writing comes in.

They Say It’s True
They say it's true
Because of you
The pastures anew
Spring grass full of dew
Early in the wilderness
Arising from a slumber
No meaning of the day
Forgetting the number
Of weeks remaining in the year
But destiny remaining crystal clear
Locking away all of the fear
I cannot see the ways
You live through the pain
The scars of yesterday
Wash away with the rain
Meaning of your eyes
Concealing all the lies
Look up my girl
Give a little twirl
You are new to this world

Random I can say hand on heart 110% but the whole of the family liked it. Michelle clapped her hands together and asked me to write and share more things. Maybe I might read some of my novel to her, if my nerves don't get in the way that is. Off to write some more!

Yours,
Morwenna.

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