Letters To Myself

Book cover made by Movellas user Lily Anna!

*Completed standalone YA novel approx 57,000 words*

Winner of Nanowrimo 2017!

Seventeen year old Morwenna is struggling as a student in her school's sixth form. On top of that, she has to deal with a creepy house nearby with mysterious visions, her Mum expecting a baby and exploring privately her sexuality and identity. When things get rough at home, she decides to leave and start afresh but at what cost? Written in a mixture of diary entries/letters, poetry and prose, Letter To Myself tracks the life of a young girl over the course of a single year.

Only edited for spelling and grammar mistakes, plotline has not been edited. Suggested readership is 15+.


21. 21.

Dear Myself,
Another weekend is ticked off the Calendar, still so surprised by how fast this year is travelling by and from right under our noses! This weekend was spent travelling out to see some family that I don't get to see very often purely because of the long distance between our house and theirs. The car journey was going to be at least four hours and that's just mainly travelling on the motorway and some tight country lanes, past fields full of straw and crops, possibly cows on the road? We've had that before and got stuck for almost an hour watching two farmers try and guide the cows into a big field by the side of the road. It was no laughing matter, Damien has a fear of cows and he was screaming like a banshee.

Jasmine was sat on the back seat between myself and Damien, wondering what the hell was going on. She's still so new to the world and even though she has been on a few car journeys already, it's none this long or scary before. But there's a first for everything and as she gets older, she’ll get used to it. When I was younger, I was prone to get travel sick but now, I stock up on mints such as Trebor Extra Strong Mints which work a treat just as long as Damien doesn't try to steal the tube off of me, then we are all good. It was an early start but once we were all in with our overnight bags tucked in the boot of the car sitting quietly then the journey began.

However, it was almost over before it even started. Dad realised that he had left his wallet on the side of the dresser in the dining room and so, we had to turn back and retrieve it then Jasmine decided to have an accident in her nappy which needed to be cleaned and added another twenty minutes into our journey. Mum put in some extra nappies just in case of any more choes. My headphones finally sat on my earbuds, blasting out music that I loved. None of that radio crap, proper indie rock and some metal. It was so tempting to start head-banging but the looks I would get from other drivers and their families wouldn't be a pleasant one. The car radio was slightly on in the background but that didn't phase me from my own enjoyment.

In the middle of one of my favourite songs Ain't It Fun by Paramore, the phone dinged with a new message from Michelle, the first I had heard from her since I replied after the meeting. She apologised for the lack of activity but she had just been caught up in other things. Of course, my fragile mind thought it was something I said or did that upset her and caused her to go offline. Then she typed back something that made me physically gasp out loud and then getting a loud shout from Damien asking if I'm going to be sick or not. Shaking my head with disbelief, I quickly typed back, she was going to be in the same seaside town that we were heading to! What a great time and place to actually show her to my family and do something fun such as getting fish and chips on the beach.

My enjoyment was now at a peak level, higher than it had ever been for a long while. Now it was trying to keep it there and not have anything bad happen to me. Damien started once again to tap along to his rap music which woke Jasmine up with a cry. Mum pulled over to do two things: Tell Damien off and then cuddle the baby to calm her down. On switching off my music, my phone started to ring which I quickly answered. It was Leia asking if I wanted to head out later on for a meal. That was tempting I have to admit but I said I was currently out of town and wouldn't be back for a few days. Then Michelle ended up calling and just hearing her voice, the difference between hers and Leia’s is just… Creepy I have to admit. Leia has quite a powerful don't mess with me type of tone and Michelle is the complete opposite.

The rest of the travelling past by without incident and seeing the all too familiar driveway close to a block of flats reminded me that the stress was over. All five of us hugged the family waiting for us, Gran, Uncle, one of my cousins and his girlfriend who i’d met before but Damien hadn't, so he stated awkwardly that the girlfriend wasn't a family member. Well done brother. Jasmine released another wail to state that she was hungry and tired. On dropping my bag off, I said that I was heading out to explore the town and beach and would be back in time for dinner. Headphones returned to my ears and off I went minding my own business until I felt arms wrap around my waist which made me jump out of fear that some weirdo was stalking me.

That weirdo was the girl who I've written most of this letter stating her name. With a cute giggle, she smiled and reached for one of my headphones wanting to listen to my rock music blaring out at substantial volume. I joked that the music was dangerous but she playfully shushed me and walked alongside towards the shoreline which was packed full of seagulls and people running around with kites and footballs. Spotting a sign for fish and chips, we joined a queue and watched as batches of food were being cooked. The aroma filled our appetites and noses as we talked about life, Jasmine and a bit more discreetly about the meeting from the other week. She said that I should do and be me and not be influenced to follow a set course. The City College have offered me an interview which is in two weeks time and she clapped her hands in joy. At the front of the queue, ordering our food, a seagull sat on a rail watched us with jealousy making Michelle laugh. I just watched her expression changed in an instant, which cemented the fact that she was perfect with everything about her.

After eating our chips, we both made our way back to my Uncle’s place and let ourselves in. The big moment was finally here. Everyone was finally going to witness her walking into a room full of strangers. I spoke first, introducing her as a close friend of mine that I had bumped into and wanted to invite back. That seemed to do the trick, Mum and Dad were very nice towards her, Damien even said hello but on having a quick snack, it was my cousin who remarked that we look cute together. There was a quick silence before Gran said not to make us embarrassed.

I will round off this letter with this incredible moment that I will always cherish. As Michelle was about to leave and return to the place where she was staying, she whispered in my ear that my cousin was right. I blushed a little and said that I agreed as well. Before either of us could fully pull ourselves together, I kissed her on the cheek which made her eyes open wide. On letting her out, I slid down onto the front door mat, collapsing against it with a sigh.




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