Letters To Myself

Book cover made by Movellas user Lily Anna!

*Completed standalone YA novel approx 57,000 words*

Winner of Nanowrimo 2017!

Seventeen year old Morwenna is struggling as a student in her school's sixth form. On top of that, she has to deal with a creepy house nearby with mysterious visions, her Mum expecting a baby and exploring privately her sexuality and identity. When things get rough at home, she decides to leave and start afresh but at what cost? Written in a mixture of diary entries/letters, poetry and prose, Letter To Myself tracks the life of a young girl over the course of a single year.

Only edited for spelling and grammar mistakes, plotline has not been edited. Suggested readership is 15+.


19. 19.

Dear Myself,
Another mystery of life is love and when you feel out of the blue a form of attraction to another person, the confusion grows and there is no end in sight. It was a spur of the moment decision to head down into the city and into a Waterstones stone primarily to see what books were on the special offer display tables out at the front of the store. Mum and Jasmine decided to stay home since having a disturbed night made their energy levels slump to the point in which staying indoors was the best option for them. On the way into the city, I did the usual actions such as texting my friends in response to some of their crazy Instagram posts involving most of them standing on surfboards on crashing waves off the coast of Newquay and getting knocked off them quickly into the freezing water below.

On arrival, the tables in Waterstones had a lot of unfamiliar titles to me and my brain decided to remind me that by forgetting to do my research beforehand, I had no idea which books were highly rated or the ones that were described to be simply pants. Either way, the moment which struck me happened so quickly and something that I will forever remember to be the second that everything changed. Me being clumsy, my shoulder-bag ended up knocking a stack of books over onto the carpet with a loud crash that made the shoppers around me jump out of their skins. Blushing red, I bent down to start picking up the books when all of a sudden, a hand showcasing off sparkly silver nail polish joined in to help me out. It was a kind gesture from a complete stranger as together, we were able to restore the stack to its former glory.

On sighing with relief that the messy scenario was over, it was then I looked up from the carpet to the hand and then to the face, resting my eyes onto her gaze and then onto the stack. I mumbled a quick thank you to her as my heart pounded from inside my chest and prepared to dash off far away to a place of solitude. But her hand gently brushed past mine making my nerves tingle with affection. Something was going on, to me, my body and her with her body. She stood close to me, dreamy brown eyes, brown hair tied back into plaits that showed off her cheeks and gold stud earrings that looked a little worn but still shone in the light. A complete stranger but yet, she seemed like a person that I had known for weeks.

I apologised for getting on her nerves and being in the way but she released a cute giggle and said that was being a nuisance just standing around. Her cheeks were pink, from excitement or embarrassment I couldn't seem to decode but what I could tell was her gaze across my fragile body had never left mine and to my amazement, my gaze was still fixed on her body. She was truly beautiful but I couldn't find the right words to let her know that she was incredible. To spoil the happy moment, my phone started to blare out Wannabe by the Spice Girls super loudly to disturb everyone again. By this point, I was shocked that I hadn't been barricaded from the store yet. Mum was calling to ask if I was making my way back home to which I quickly replied that I was and hung up the phone to face the girl again.

I like the Spice Girls were the exact words she pointed out as I started to make my way towards the front entrance of the store. Other than Mum and the neighbour, I knew no-one else that liked to blast out their Greatest Hits album and jump around singing along badly. My walking gradually turned into a race to try and reach the bus in time to be home to help around and take care of Jasmine but to my horror, the bus slammed its doors right in front of my bemused looking face as a couple of little kids sat on the back seats laughing and making some rude gestures in my direction. Before a tear could escape down my cheek, there was a collective gasp as the beautiful girl that I hadn't released until now had followed me from Waterstones and she replied with a very rude gesture towards the kids. For me, my mouth physically gasped as the bus pulled away from our view.

She shrugged her shoulders as if to say that was the least that she could do to help me. That tear did fall down in the end but her calm, cool hand wiped it away gently which only wanted to make me cry more in response. Her smile made me feel warm and happy inside and offering to travel back home with me just to make sure that I was alright was a sweet offer that I really wanted to take. As another bus pulled up, both of us showed our tickets and grabbed seats safely as from out of nowhere, the power of conversation struck us hard.

Her name is Michelle, she's quite local to me but her stop was a few ones before me, currently a student at the City College doing Floristry but wanting to switch to Childcare. I felt ashamed to reveal to her that I was a failed A-Level student but on mentioning about my interest in Childcare as well, her smile perked up and the rest of the time was discussing about Jasmine and showing some photos of her wrapped up in a cute blanket. Time seems to tick by whenever you are having fun and before long, she had to get off at her stop but very quickly added her on Facebook and Instagram so we could hang out another time. Kind of like a date situation but once we are both free from all of the daily responsibilities then the next chapter in this confusing journey of first love will commence.

Love, is beautiful but so confusing at the same time.



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