Letters To Myself

Book cover made by Movellas user Lily Anna!

*Completed standalone YA novel approx 57,000 words*

Winner of Nanowrimo 2017!

Seventeen year old Morwenna is struggling as a student in her school's sixth form. On top of that, she has to deal with a creepy house nearby with mysterious visions, her Mum expecting a baby and exploring privately her sexuality and identity. When things get rough at home, she decides to leave and start afresh but at what cost? Written in a mixture of diary entries/letters, poetry and prose, Letter To Myself tracks the life of a young girl over the course of a single year.

Only edited for spelling and grammar mistakes, plotline has not been edited. Suggested readership is 15+.

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18. 18.

Dear Myself,
Why can kids be cruel? It's always something that I wonder on a daily basis and the reason why I've started the letter like this is because Damien came home from school during the day in floods of tears, red-faced and a cut down the side of his cheek. Mum and Jasmine had gone to a friend’s house with Dad doing the weekly food shop. I was sat in my room, cross-legged on the middle of my bed and minding my own business when suddenly, the front door just burst open and running footsteps crashed in the bedroom down the hall. Damien’s room. At first, I thought nothing of it and maybe class had been let out early but on checking the time displayed on the top of the phone screen, I realised that it was only 11am and there was no way on Earth he had been released early from school. Getting up, I gently tapped on his bedroom door but received no response. On opening it a little, I spotted a lump underneath some bedding and heard quiet sobs from my brother who was obviously in a state of distress.

I quietly closed the door back up, hesitating to go in. What had happened was most likely none of my business but if I did nothing and hid away from the situation, that would showcase me as a bad sister. I could text my parents and see what they would have to say but how would Damien react to that? He would get the impression that I didn't care. After an eternity, I finally re-opened the door to which at this point he was sat up in bed and faced me as I entered. No words were spoken as I calmly sat down next to him and he pulled one of the pillows to cover his face with. His intention was not to let me see that he was crying I could gather from his actions. I asked him what had happened to which he pointed to his school bag dumped on the floor, then pointed towards one of the small trophies on his shelf and started to cry again.

He was being bullied, the alarm bells rang surely but soundly in my head. Getting to the truth wasn't going to be easy but for my brother's sake, getting him to talk was going to do the world of good. Slowly, I took the pillow from his hand and pushed his head gently onto my shoulder which he was more than welcome to cry on. He looked surprised but then what surprised me was the way he wrapped his arms around me so that he could feel security and joy. Neither of us heard the chatter of Mum and Dad since our thoughts had drifted off away into another world. A little shriek from Mum and then my name being called in a frenzy from downstairs bought me back to reality. On running down, Mum said that she had found a message on answer machine to say Damien was missing from school. Taking Jasmine into my arms who stared up towards me with a cute giggle, I whispered to my parents my suspicions.

I didn't hear anything for a while but on taking Jasmine outside and into the shed which had been tidied around a little, I talked to my little sister about the positives of life, the friends she’ll make and the hobbies she'll discover and fall in love with. Maybe a sporty person like Damien or a book lover like me. We all won't know until she's older about where her passions lie. Dad waved to me from inside the kitchen and Jasmine started to wail as he walked towards us. All of us were going out to the school for an emergency meeting but could I take care of Jasmine? Of course I wanted to be with my sister since according to Mum has made the whole family complete.

On approaching the school, Damien started to kick off again about how horrible life was and some of the students being mean to him, calling him names which I won't repeat since that's encouraging the bullying in my opinion and trying to hurt him by grabbing the top of his blazer and pushing him back against some lockers to try and knock him out. The fact this isn't a one-off occurrence either is truly shocking, nobody should be verbally or physically bullied by another person who is currently experiencing some form of hardship whether it would be a parents divorce or money worries etc. Damien hasn't done anything wrong (apart from running out of school during the day which is truant activity) but the perfect distraction for me lay back in her baby carrier, happy and content.  

I sat outside the meeting room on an uncomfortable chair in the middle of the corridor, wondering how long the proceedings were going to take. Jasmine was being an angel and gently slept as I checked all of my social medias and refreshed the pages hundreds of times to see if anything new had been posted. Most of my sixth form friends were away on a short-term break held down in Cornwall, surfing and trying to catch the attention of the locals no doubt. Using my baby sister as the perfect excuse not to go since she needed a babysitter which I could fit the bill for and no job advert to be posted out on Facebook. The meeting in total lasted around half an hour before the family emerged and Damien still tearful from his ordeal but agreeing to go back to the last class of the afternoon and have lunch in the main area. On hugging him, he whispered in my ear a quick thank you for staying with him until the parents arrived back home which made me tear up a little. Me and Damien do pick fights but there is a good bond between us, it just depends on the day, time and place.

Wrapping up the letter here for now, it's been a long and eye-opening time for me. The sense that things aren't quite as they seem anymore doesn't want to vanish away from my mindset. Life can be such a mystery sometimes.

Yours,
Morwenna.

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