Everything Has Changed

Two former friends with ten years that passed them by have found themselves back in each other's lives. Because all she knew that everything has changed.

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6. The Last Letter

Saturday morning—The day of Sophia’s high school reunion. I’m not sure if I’m ready for tonight, especially when I’ll be Harry’s date. I was in the kitchen drinking my coffee when the doorbell rang. I stepped away from the cup to answer the door.

When I did, it was Harry. He entered the house and closed the door before pressing his lips to mine. He placed his hands on my waist to pull me towards him. Instinctively, I pulled away from him. “Harry, what the hell?” I asked him. I didn’t want to pull away from him. I wanted more.

I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. I wanted to feel his arms wrap around me, holding my body against his own. I wanted Harry in ways I hadn’t even imagined. A feeling was taking a hold on me. It wasn’t the same feeling I had felt when I was 15.

This was much different.

There was an ache, a wanting. “I can’t stop thinking about that kiss. Ange, I’m sorry that I hate to admit this to you. I need to admit this. I haven’t had a kiss like that since… well, never. Tell me you felt it too. Tell me that there’s something, anything.” said he.

Did I want to open up to him about the kiss from last night? Do I want to tell him about how I truly feel? Then I thought about the mention of Zayn going with Gigi to the reunion, along with Taylor. I wasn’t ready to see Zayn back together with his ex, if he decides to be with her. 

However in my situation with Harry, I wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear about my feelings or if I was ready to say it aloud and admit that what I’m feeling shouldn’t be concealed anymore. We were keeping things from Taylor, as well as our friends. Also, I’m afraid of telling him about my feelings for Zayn as well. “This is too much to wrap my head around Harry. I need a moment.” I told him.

“You wouldn’t need a moment if you feel the same way I do.”

“Harry, you’re not thinking rationally here.” I interjected.

“You agreed to be my date to the reunion. You said yes before I could explain why. You didn’t hesitate then. Why are you hesitating now?”

“You need to go Harry. I’ll see you tonight, okay?” I walked over to the front door and opened it. Harry didn’t say anything else and exited the house. I shut the door behind him on the way out. I grabbed my cup and headed into the office. The last unopened envelope sat on the desk.

It was dated for today: June 12, 2021. I had been against the idea of opening the letter, afraid of what its contents might be. I sat down and set my cup on the desk. I had never been nervous about opening an envelope before. I opened it regardless.

June 12, 2021

It’s been almost since my first letter. While it was hard for me to write a letter to you then, it’s even harder now. You might be wondering why the last letter is dated for today. I had stopped writing for about a year and a half. I started writing again when you moved back to London for Uni. I’m sure you have read through my previous letters that talk about how my life has been going, especially the moments when I’ve been on tour with and without the lads. You’ve read about my personal experiences about the rift that had happened with Zayn. You’ve read about my past and currently, the present. Now, I figured I should write to you about what my plans were for the future, not mine and Taylor’s. Ours.

If your parents hadn’t decided on moving away to California, you would still be here. There could’ve been a possibility that your childhood home could still be yours. There wouldn’t be a stack of letters written to you over the last 10 years. Ten years ago, we talked about our future and what it would look like ten years from them. Actually, we discussed it… maybe in Secondary school when we were 12 or 13. While though young, both of us had bing dreams, especially when it came to our future. It’s funny how at that age we would plan our wedding or where we would live. Then when we were 16, we had gone out to the park and stood underneath the tree. Well, you were 15. You said you were moving away to California just as soon as school gets out. I was planning to audition for The X Factor. You asked me where I wanted to live, if I could pick anywhere in the world.

It was then I said to you, ‘Angela, I would live anywhere with you as long as we’re conquering the world together. When I make enough money, I promise I will buy your childhood home. We’ll live in it together and raise our future kids there too. I can almost imagine having a daughter as beautiful as her mother.’ At that point, you looked over at me and smiled. I had seen the tears forming in your eyes because I knew you had been holding back from crying. It was then you started to go on about how you liked the sound of that idea. You talked about what kind of house you wanted, even if it wasn’t your childhood home. You talked about how you wanted the rooms to be decorated when I started to keep a mental note. I asked about how you wanted your wedding to look. I asked about the dress you wanted and the colors of what you wanted for the wedding. You told me you loved the color blue. You didn’t go into much detail about it. I assumed you wanted it to be intimate, friends and family only. You weren’t keen on big weddings.

You asked me about my future. So I said, ‘My future plans started the very moment I knew I wanted to marry you someday. I was 10, and we were doing that whole pretend wedding type stuff.’ And for 16 years since then, I’ve always wanted to marry you. You’re more than just the girl who grew up in the same town as me. You’re more than just the girl who became my best friend within seconds of meeting. When I saw you again the minute you bumped into me at the mall, I felt a sensation I haven’t felt in years. Outside the restaurant when you looked at me after that talk, I knew I had lost you. Over 10 years, I didn’t think you’d end up being a different person. I mean, you are not the same girl all those years ago. You’re more independent, strong. You can hold your own. You had been hurt by my actions, as well as my words. I thought it was easier for us to part ways without seeing each other. I was wrong.

That day, I threw away our friendship. We have known each other since we were babies and have been friends for as long as we both can remember. However, it all disappeared down the drain the minute we stopped talking. I thought you had grown to hate me as a person. It was upon realization that the person who changed was me. I became the person I didn’t want to become, the person I didn’t want you to see or meet. I had given up on you, on us. I had moved on to someone else thinking life would get better, that life would become easier. It didn’t. It became harder to erase the memory of you from my mind. You have grown into a beautiful woman, who is just as ambitious and intelligent as you were over 10 years ago. You amaze me in the best ways. You know and understand me as a person. There’s no one better than you to know exactly what I’m thinking.

Despite our rocky history, I still believe there’s a chance we can be friends again. I believe in us because there’s no stronger bond than the love that we share for each other. It may be hard for you to see it. I know in time you will. I hope that you too believe we’ll come to understanding each other again, as friends. I’ve already lost you once. I cannot lose you again. You mean so much to me that I have always felt a part of me was missing since the day we parted ten years ago. My life is empty without you. It’s meaningless, lifeless, It wasn’t easy for me to move on. It’s not easy for me to fall in love with someone else when my true devotion has always been you. I will always love you until the day we can be together again, if not now then maybe in the near future.

Love always,

Harry

I lost track of how many times I read his letter. For the remainder of the day, I had to decide whether or not that going to the high school reunion was a good idea. Taylor and her friends would be there. I’m afraid of how she’ll react to seeing me as Harry’s date. Maybe I shouldn’t go. My mind was suddenly clouded. It was then I decided to reply to Harry’s letter.

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