I'm not sure what it needs

This is something close to a collection of poems that I composed while trying to fall asleep, meaning that not only are they extremely personal, there is also a pretty decent chance that you will encounter grammatical errors. Please write to me if you find any so I can correct them, hope you find this mess somewhat enjoyable.
-Kæon

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3. Self-reflection

I don't want to fit in.

I don't want to be one in the crowd.

The weird kid I've always been.

But I have always been proud.

Proud of who I am,

Proud of what I believe,

Proud to not fit in a diagram,

Proud of the person if will always be.

But I still have one thought,

What if what I believe

Is just what I can afford.

And I lie to myself, so I can feel relief.

What if I wanted to look more normal?

But I'm too poor to afford proper clothes.

What if I wanted to feel more formal?

But 'cause of my childhood, I could only get close.

To find peace for my heart,

Will definitely be hard,

But maybe I find help in this,

Maybe it will be a total miss,

Cause I'm not sure what it needs.

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