Confessions of a Private School Girl Entering the Real World

A diary of a private school girl's first year in the real world with real people. It's a wreck, let me just say that now, a complete and utter mess.

Contains sex, love, drugs and all things in between. Warning some people may get triggered.

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3. January

January was uneventful. The month of January was my second last month of summer break and I spent most of it stressing about starting university as I struggled and continue to struggle with, although I have improved so much, with social anxiety. It was so bad in school that I quit all the sports I loved because I was having panic attacks over the thought of being compared to others and being the weak link on the team. I miss playing sports so much, still to this day but I am working on joining some uni teams. Not quite there yet.

 

January was probably the most uneventful. I spent most of the time catching up on well deserved sleep as in my final year, most of the time I was getting 4 hours of sleep max a night, which is just ridiculous and so unhealthy. I spent a lot of time cleaning my social medias and I realized how much I missed in my final year as I never left the house and I lost a lot of friends. I continued to paint and caught up on a lot of TV shows. I spent a lot of time at the beach, made a few new friends who are quite intense and just relaxed as much as I could.

 

My friend had her 18th birthday held at a cabin by the beach and it was just horrific. We spent one night but it was intense and conflicting for everyone involved. Basically my friend Norma, she also suffers with social anxiety however hers is much worse, to the point of having to leave school and start at a special school designed to help people like her, she invited her new friends along from that school. It was the first time Ashley and I were meeting them and we had to spend a night in a place where we weren't allowed to use phones etc because Norma just gets super pissy when people use their phones. It honestly just ended in arguments and secrets revealed but we all ended up being good friends, which is nice, I still talk to them today. Basically her friend Rose, she suffers from BPD and she was all over the place. She was getting triggered by the simplest things and believed my friend (I use the term friend very loosely) Ashley was having sex with her ex despite the many 'No we just know each other through friends' Ashley protested. It ended with us all in tears as we discussed fucked up parents and how more than half of us had been sexually assaulted or raped in our lifetime.

 

That was about it for January.

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