Confessions of a Private School Girl Entering the Real World

A diary of a private school girl's first year in the real world with real people. It's a wreck, let me just say that now, a complete and utter mess.

Contains sex, love, drugs and all things in between. Warning some people may get triggered.

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10. 17th July 2018 -18th July 2018

I slept with B again, he came and picked me up in his car and we drove down to the park near Ashley's house and we had sex in the backseat of his car. It was the most I have ever connected with a person which sucks because it was with him of all people. Kissing him is intoxicating like it takes my breath away and we are just so in sync its crazy I didn't know you could be like that with someone, literally as one.

 

Our sex is so rough though and violent which is definitely what I am into. Choking, hair pulling, scratching, slapping.. you name it. I gave him a blowjob which he says that I do well but like I don't know. This is so weird to type out oh my gosh but I said I would be honest, he convinced me to do anal with him and ouch it was painful but it wasn't as bad as I expected but you definitely need to prepare for that because it hurt so badly. He was way more affectionate than usual like he kissed my neck and my shoulder when he saw I was in pain and told me it was okay. We switched and I got on top of him and it was hardcore rough. So rough in fact that we completely destroyed the condom. That's right it completely broke, it looked like a hair-tie in the end, nothing was covered and he came inside of me. Well shit. I am on the pill but I know that is is best to use two forms of protection in case things like this happen and also since the pill does not protect you from STI's. When we were finished he freaked out, like I was trying to remain calm but he just freaked out so much about pregnancy and begged me to take a test later on (when you are supposed to). He then thought it would be a smart idea to try and scrape out the cum from my vagina... he shoved his finger so far up I thought he was going to pull out my intestines or something. Ouch.

 

We then went back to his car and I lay on him and we talked about what we remembered from primary school since we went to the same one ages ago (I moved around a lot) and we just had the best talk for the first time in a long time. However this bitch got slight feelings again. So it has been a hard time since. It stings when he calls other girls hot and I am pretty sure he had a hickey the night after which I did not give him... so you can see where I stand with him. I wish I would stop being so dumb around him. I hate myself for going back to his toxicity and I hate myself even more for allowing myself to be fooled by him. I am so angry about it all still. I need to get an STI test soon. What has my life become ?

 

I bought a digital pregnancy test the next day, did he offer to drive me to get it or go half on it.. nope he didn't even ask if I was okay or check up on me or anything. I think that shows what kind of person he is.

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