Confessions of a Private School Girl Entering the Real World

A diary of a private school girl's first year in the real world with real people. It's a wreck, let me just say that now, a complete and utter mess.

Contains sex, love, drugs and all things in between. Warning some people may get triggered.


8. 10th July 2018

Thought I would update you all. Nothing interesting has really happened and I am counting down the days until Spring because I hate winter so much. I hate the cold.


Lately my heart hurts a lot because of B, I am really confused as to what emotions I feel and for who. I don't think I have strong romantic feelings for him anymore but I know a part of me will always care for him. I think I am attached because I did lose my virginity to him and also not gonna lie the last time we had sex, it was dam good like although I am sad that it probably won't happen again (which I know in the long run is a good thing) I am glad that it ended on a high note. I am just very confused because everything hurts. I just feel sad all the time.


Anyway onto the kind of interesting, oh we all saw that one coming stuff.


Saturday, obviously hit the club, the same club that B and Justin like to frequent however, B was supposed to be at the gay club for a special gaming themed night so I thought it would be safe. WRONG. I was also hoping to have time to get to know Justin because I do genuinely want to be friends with him and he is really sweet however that obviously didn't happen. Started off the night with Hugo and Alexis. Now even though I am of legal drinking age, I am not actually allowed to drink due to family history so my parents think I am a sober being. That makes having pres even harder especially because my house is the closest to the club. So I decided to try and make a pres happen, the plan was to go early, get our free entry and hopefully head to Justin's for pres. Justin said he would maybe do it if I kissed him, so I was like fine I'll take one for the team. However we ended up getting drunk at mine, we had some strong spirits I stole from my parents and mixed, we had a disgusting bottle of white wine, courtesy of Alexis and some pink wine or something that Hugo bought. We had a great time playing drinking games and forcing poor Hugo to read from the infamous Girl Stuff Book. I also managed to do my makeup drunk which I am pretty impressed with. So we finally get my dad to drive us in, I have no idea how he didn't realize I was drunk I mean it was so obvious. But we got there, we got our free entry and we went to the skate-park. Now the whole time I had been snapping with Justin who was now with B. B snapped me a bit too and we were just chatting. I ended up giving my phone to Hugo because I was too drunk and they exchanged messages on my account, messages I only found out the next morning, where Justin revealed that B was in fact his friend. I didn't think too much of it. We were outside the ice cream place since I have a friend who works there and was hoping to get some free ice cream when Justin and B and a couple other people come down from Justin's place and B looks at me and my drunken idiotic self says


'Who are you?'


Like bitch what the fuck. I just no.



He said something like 'Will see you later' or something I don't know I was drunk.



Anyway we head to this other bar where my friend is act stupid where one of the boys they went to school with who I used to chat to when I was 14 decides to hit me up on facebook? Like alright hello haven't spoken to you in like 4 years. This bitch tries to booty call me over????


We see Justin and B and we walked past because I was looking for my friend Ashley.


We then head back to the club at 12am where they make us pay $20 to get back in are you serious?? Like apparently with free entry you have to remain at the venue the entire fucking time which I think is unfair because I like to go get hot chips and stuff midway through. I also had an issue with the security guard who claimed my stamp wasn't the club stamp and the chick at the checkout tried to make me pay twice, she claimed I hadn't paid like bitch get fucked.


It was like a fucking school reunion. Everyone I went to the all girl school with was there. my ex-best friend came up and hugged me like bitch accept my friend request and then we can talk. All the girls from my homeroom were there it was insane.


B and Justin completely ignored me, I saw Justin grab B when he saw me and I was like alrighty then. They ignored me for the entire night. Like how did it go from you wanting a kiss from me to you being a rude bitch. So funny though because I ended up for the first time on B's snap story in the background of the pic of Justin. It was weird so I think that B was filled in about my drunk flirting (was desperate for a pres place to drink ) and B in turn probably filled Justin in on our escapades as well as how I said I didn't like him like that. So they are still both salty with me.


So drunk me decides well if neither of you are going to pay me attention then I will just find someone else too. That's when I find Ashley with her friend Cole, so I was like hey Cole can you help me make my ex and his friend jealous and Cole is like yea cool so I start dancing with Cole and both of them see but before this happens Ashley and I find out one of the girls we went to school with has slipped in the bathroom and split her head open and can't be found anywhere so we are like um fuck well then. So I message Justin and B on snap and I'm like hey if you see a girl bleeding from her head let me know we can't find her anywhere. B asks what happened where as Justin is just like 'K', like why ya salty. Yea fun times.


My drink got spiked and I was struggling to stand and B and Justin both saw me and were right next to me and didn't give a fuck. Like thanks.


After seeing B dance in the club I think that's what really got me over him.


We finally found the chick with the bleeding head at 3:30am and I told her to go to the hospital and we finally got her to go. Cole was nice and gave me his jacket since I was freezing. We ordered an Uber and just as I looked up onto the balcony of the club B and I made eye contact. But that was all that happened with him which really hurt.


This entry is a bit all over the place I am sorry to those who actually read this but yea. I am secretly hoping that B will message me and want to see me again but I really think it is over this time which makes me sad, but it was never healthy.

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