Made to Forget

I roll my eyes. “I’m fine. I don’t feel any different.”

He frowns. “Did something happen other than kissing while you were with Mara?” He asks.

Before I can answer there is a growl at the doorway. I turn my head to see Dimitri looking at the both of us angrily. “Get your hands off my mate Alexander.” He says.

I growl at Dimitri. “I am not your mate. You can’t control him or me.” I say getting up.

Dimitri looks at me with hurt in his eyes. “Yes we are mates.”

I cross my arms. “You can’t be mates with someone you have no feelings for. I don’t like you at all. In fact I hate you.” I say.

His face completely drops and I can tell my words cut him deep. Deep down I feel guilty and regret saying those words but on the surface I smile to see him like this. I walk past him without another word and head to the kitchen.


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8. Chapter 7 (Sorry it's short)

I wake up to a pounding headache. I groan and shift onto my side. Voices fill my ears as my senses awaken again. “She’s been doing this for hours now. All she does is mumble and groan. I’ve been able to pick up some words but it makes no sense. Is it the same thing that happened with Alex?” I hear Suzannah ask.

 

Anger slices through me as my to memories I gain back make me realize that this isn’t the first time he has forced his lips on mine. I keep my breathing the same to make it seem like I’m still out as an idea pops in my head. I hold back a smile. Payback time. I slowly open my eyes and see that I’m facing away from them toward the wall. I mumble incoherently random words. Everyone goes silent and I can tell the are struggling to hear my words.  I wait a couple minutes before I sit up holding my head.

 

My head is aching and sitting up causes a wave of dizziness through me. After a couple minutes it subsides. I blink as my vision clears. My head is no longer pounding as bad as it was before. “Abigail.” I hear Dimitri’s soft voice call my name. I turn to look at him keeping my face blank. I can see the pain and regret in his eyes. Next second he’s on the floor with my hand around his throat. I look around daring anyone to try to help him. I give Suzannah a imperceptible wink but i can see the flash in her eyes letting me know she’s seen it and her body relaxes slightly. I can tell everyone is frightened but they are even more frightened to get me off of Dimitri. I tighten my grip slightly and can hear him taking in shorter bursts of air. I look at him letting my fangs elongate. I watch his eyes widen and he struggles a bit under my grasp.

 

I lower my head so my fangs are no longer in his eyesight. I touch them against his skin. His whole body tenses in anticipation as my breath tickle his neck. I slowly retract my fangs and place my lips softly on his neck and I hear his breath catch in his throat.I hear his heart skip a beat and my lips curl up into a smile. I give his neck one last soft squeeze before letting go.

 

I get off of him wobbling slightly. I must still be dizzy. It takes a second for me to catch myself. Dimitri is still on the floor with a look of shock on his face. I laugh. “That’s for forcing your lips on mine for the second time.” I say. Everyone relaxes and Suzannah smiles. I can tell she’s trying not to laugh.

 

Dimitri sits up and looks at me. “That was a dick move. I never expected that from you.” He sighs slightly angered. His face flushes in embarrassment.

 

I growl. “Now you know how it feels. Don’t get pissed at me when you stirred the pot first. You did the same thing to me. I just know how to do it better.” I say crossing my arms. Annoyance and shame go through me as well as hurt. I remember what happened between me and Alex. “Where’s Alexander anyway?” i ask. Jealousy and anger goes through Dimitri’s eyes. I roll my eyes at him. “Down boy. That kiss was a mistake, even though I enjoyed it. He was right to stop it.” I watches everyone look surprised. I feel guilty about lying like this but i do remember calling Dimitri my mate.

 

“S so you don’t hate me anymore?” He asks looking like a little kid talking to his mom with tears of hope in his eyes.

 

I shrug. “Hate is such a strong word now that I think about it.” as soon as the words leave my lips his arms are around me tightly engulfing me in a hug. He is hugging me like we are long lost lovers who haven’t seen each other in years. I can’t help but relax in his arms. My shirt starts to feel damp and I realise with much guilt that he’s crying. I wrap my arms around him my bandaged hand feeling strange against the back of his shirt. He squeezes me tighter. Not enough to hurt but enough to where it gets a little harder to breath. He pulls away just enough to capture my lip on his. By this time everyone else has left leaving me and Dimitri alone. I close my eyes enjoying his touch. My mind is screaming to me that I hate him. That these feelings I have for him are false. That I should deny them. My heart is saying something completely different leaving me in a battle within myself as he deepens the kiss.

 

His grip slowly loosens as his hands move to rest on my waist. Our bodies are melded together leaving no space in between. I’m the first to pull away my head aching. I keep my eyes closed as my eyebrows knit together in pain. I feel dimitri’s hand move to rest on my cheek. “Abigail? Are you ok?” He asks concern in his voice.

 

I shake my head. “Headache. Everytime a new memory comes or I’m doing something that my mind is telling me not to it hurts. Like really bad.” I say slowly opening my eyes to look at him. I see confusion in his eyes as well as guilt and pain. I can tell he wants to stop the pain that I keep feeling.

 

“Was that what was happening just now?” He asks. I can hear sadness in his voice. His other hand is still loose on my waist. He traces my cheek with his thumb. “I don’t want to cause you pain.” He says.

 

I sigh rubbing my cheek against his hand my head pounding worse. “My mind is telling me to hate you. To ignore the feelings I have for you. To deny them. That’s what I ended up doing to you before. I felt guilty after words and I could never understand why I felt that way if I hated you.” I say looking at him my voice soft and etched in pain

 

I see him flinch and his hands drop. “I wish I could somehow stop this. We can’t find Mara and if we go after her we risk her doing something to you. I just wish I could hold you in my arms. Have you with me without you being in pain. Or thinking that you hate me. I love you so much seeing you like this hurts me physically, mentally, emotionally.” He takes a step back. “I’ll try to control myself so you won’t hurt.”

I frown. You’ve been a bad girl little mutant wolf. You hate Dimitri. He killed your sister. Can’t you remember? Remember that he killed your sister and smiled at you about. He doesn’t love you. I hold my head confusion washing over me. My vision blurs and the world tilts. I feel Dimitri’s arms around me and eventually all my senses dull.

 

When I do comeback I groan. Tears sting my eyes as I see a memory of Dimitri killing my sister in front of my eyes and smiling at me no remorse in his eyes. “Are you ok Abigail?” I hear Dimitri ask. My vision clears and my fangs elongate as anger rolls off me in waves. My head clears and my hand goes around his throat as I slam him against the wall with a growl. His hands move to mine as he grasps it trying to release my grip. “Abigail. It’s ok it’s just me.” He say trying to pry my hand off.

 

I glare at him my vision red. “Yeah it’s you. I’m surprised you even are in my line of sight after what you did to my sister! You fucking bastard! I hate you! You killed my sister. I’m not going to let you sit here and laugh in my face.” My voice is low and dangerous as my grip tightens around his throat. He struggles harder and I hear his heart pick up speed. The stench of fear hits the air.

 

I feel arms grab me and I’m shoved to the ground hands pinning my arms and legs. I growl and struggle trying to get free so I can kill Dimitri. I see Nick at my arms and Charles at my legs. “What the Hell happened? Y’all were getting along finally.” Suzannah asks.

 

I watch as Dimitri rubs his throat and looks at me. “I’m going to kill that Mara. Abigail had passed out for a couple minutes and when she came back she started yelling about me killing her sister.” He says.

 

I hiss angrily. “You did. I saw it with my own eyes. You smiled at me. You ficking smiled!” Tears spill from my eyes and my struggles weaken. “I loved my sister and you took her away from me! You are a monster! I thought I was but now I know who the true monster is!” I say and start sobbing. Nick grabs my arms and pulls me into a hug wrapping his arms around me. I see anger in all of their faces but I don’t care. I bury my face in Nick’s shoulder and cry. My heart doesn’t seem to be able to take much more.

 

I finally stop crying my fangs have been retracted and I’m exhausted barely able to keep my eyes open much longer. I feel arms pick me up and struggle before I see that it’s just Suzannah. She grunts and looks at me. “You are light. You need to eat more.” She says with a small smile. She sets me down on the bed and places the covers over me. I curl up facing away from them all looking at the wall.They turn out the lights and walk out closing the door. It’s dark but I can still see the blank outline of the wall. I close my eyes and let sleep take over glad to be rid of the pain for even a little while.

 

Dimitri’s POV

I rub my neck. It’s a little sore but I know it’s nothing compared to how Abigail must be feeling. I hate the fucking leech Mara. I’m going to kill her. I will find her and kill her if it’s the last thing I ever do. It hurt me to see and hear Abigail like that. She looked at me with pure hate. My heart aches at the thought. Suzannah hands me a cold cloth and I place it on my neck wincing.

 

“I’m really starting to see why she didn’t want to drink that blood. She must have heard Mara at one point in time before the blood and she probably wanted to stop all of this from happening.” Nick says. “I’m still glad she’s alive but this is no way for her to live. She is in constant confusion. She’s constantly battling herself and those around her. It’s not right.” He shakes his head. “I should’ve just let her choose. She’s suffering because of me.”

 

Rory places a hand on his shoulder. “You were being an Alpha. You knew that was the only way to save her so you saved her. Don’t blame yourself when the one at fault is the one who started it all. We must go through every book we can to find a way to kill the Vampire. She is the problem. Until she’s gone none of us will be able to rest easy or even be happy.” She says calmly her voice strong amongst all of us.

 

I sigh. “I have looked at most of my ancestors journals. There’s not that much information on Vampires. I can try looking again and through the ones that I haven’t but I don’t think any of them will have anything useful to us.” I say my voice slightly cracking and my throat sore. The all look at me with sympathy in their eyes. I glare not wanting to see it.

 

“You should get some rest Dimitri your neck looks pretty swollen.” Nick says softly.

 

I shake my head in one sharp move of my head. “No. I will not rest...til we get Mara and fix Abigail. Abigail is suffering the worst. We all might be suffering but it’s her mind being messed with. Her emotions. I won’t *Cough* stand by and watch her go through hell like she is. It’s not right.” I say firmly.

 

Nick sighs. “We know Abigail is suffering the worst. We need you rested so you can help. You can’t help her if you’re not as healthy as you can be.”

 

I glare hating that he’s right but knowing I can’t kill Mara if I can’t even get out of Abigail’s grip. I get up and head to the room they’ve been letting me rest in since Abigail’s memory was taken and slam the door. I lay down and stare at the ceiling wide awake. I will help you somehow Abigail.

 
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