Made to Forget

I roll my eyes. “I’m fine. I don’t feel any different.”

He frowns. “Did something happen other than kissing while you were with Mara?” He asks.

Before I can answer there is a growl at the doorway. I turn my head to see Dimitri looking at the both of us angrily. “Get your hands off my mate Alexander.” He says.

I growl at Dimitri. “I am not your mate. You can’t control him or me.” I say getting up.

Dimitri looks at me with hurt in his eyes. “Yes we are mates.”

I cross my arms. “You can’t be mates with someone you have no feelings for. I don’t like you at all. In fact I hate you.” I say.

His face completely drops and I can tell my words cut him deep. Deep down I feel guilty and regret saying those words but on the surface I smile to see him like this. I walk past him without another word and head to the kitchen.


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3. Chapter 2

I look at the cup in my hand. Nick had come back about an hour later. After I had stopped talking DImitri had gotten concerned and wondered if I was alright. I had told him I was fine. He didn’t believe me but didn’t pressure me either. I’ve been sitting here for a couple of minutes just staring at the contents in the cup. The smell making me mouth water and all I want to do is gulp it down. I force myself not to. I just keep staring at it.

 

Everyone else is in the room with me and we sit there in silence. My fangs are out but I keep my mouth closed as they poke painfully into my lip. After awhile a soft voice breaks the silence. “Abigail. You need to drink.” Dimitri says.

 

I frown and wince as my fangs scratch my lips. I set the cup down, with some difficulty but I managed to do it, and backed away. I shake my head. “No.” I cross my arms. I can’t do it. I really want to but I can’t. If that voice of Mara was in my head because she is alive then that means I’d rather be dead then let her control me to hurt anyone I care about. I see them look at me confused.

 

“Abigail. You need to. If you don’t we may have to force you.” Nick says. His voice is soft but his eyes hold promise.

 

I shake my head. “I won’t.” I say taking another step back away from the temptation of the blood trying to keep myself under control.

 

Nick sighs. “Abigail drink.” I feel his command and my eyes widen in surprise. My body moves back to the cup and I fight it the whole way a whimper coming out of my throat. I try to keep my arms crossed but can’t and my arms reach toward the cup shakily. As my hands wrap around the cup I try to spill the blood but my hands won’t cooperate with me and move up to my lip. As soon as the blood rushes into my mouth my will to fight it crumples and i down the contents fast. The taste is amazing.

 

It makes me sick to my stomach to think about how much I just enjoyed the blood. I drop the cup and it clatters noisily on the hardwood floor. I hear a laugh in my head. Evil and cruel. I glare at Nick. “You have no clue what you have just done.” I run out of the house knowing they won’t be able to catch me. I climb a tree and stay up there.

 

I hear them calling out my name and their footsteps get closer. I sigh getting a hold of myself. I feel stronger now and I know I won’t have anymore dizziness episodes for awhile. I’m still mad at him. That was my choice to make. I should have been the one to make that choice not him or anyone else. Me. Now I have a gut feeling they are all in danger.

 

I hear the sound of someone climbing the tree. “Abigail.” Suzanah says looking at me. She moves onto the branch and sits in front of me. I look at her but say nothing and she scoots closer. “What’s wrong?” She asks.

 

I sigh. “It should have been my decision. I know you guys want to help me but what if I don’t want it? What if I didn’t want to stay alive like this? I’m not saying that I want to leave you guys. I’m just saying that I should’ve been able to drink it when I was ready.” I say getting up my voice sounds almost back to normal just a little cracky.

 

Suzanah frowns. “Why does it bother you so much? It’s just blood.” She says shrugging.

 

I glare at her. “Human blood. You know the blood that used to be mine. I used to be human. Now……...Now I don’t know what I am.” I hop of the tree landing on the ground with a loud thump. Suzanah calls my name but I ignore her.

 

I hear footsteps and feel arms wrap around me and pull me to him. I sigh. “What do you want Dimitri?” I asks looking at him. He gives me a look of concern and I can see guilt hidden in his expression as well. I know immediately he is thinking it’s his fault again. My eyes soften and I cup his cheek. I pull him close and kiss him.

 

I feel him relax and kiss me deeply. I am the one to pull away this time. I look at him. “It’s not your fault. It’s just……..The thought of me drinking human blood. It’s sickening. The fact that it tastes really good doesn’t help. It makes me feel worse. What if i get a craving and I can’t control myself? What if I hurt one of you guys? What if I end up hurting an innocent person?” I ask concern in my voice. I can feel tears start to well up in my eyes. Leaving an unspoken question. What if Mara is still alive and she forces me to hurt you guys?

 

He cups my cheek. “Hey. It’s ok. You won’t hurt anyone. I know you. Your heart's too big for that.” He says softly rubbing his thumb gently on my cheek. He kisses my forehead. “You seemed to have good control earlier too. I know you can control it. I believe in you.”

 

I relax slightly but my fear is still there. The thought of Mara still being alive. I can’t let her harm the people I love. He looks into my eyes searching. “Something else is bugging you. What’s wrong?” He asks.

 

I curse the bond we now share because of the mark. “Nothing.” I lie.

 

He frowns and pulls back a little. “Abigail. What aren’t you telling me?” He asks.

 

I push his chest. “I said nothing. That’s the only thing other than the fact that Nick forced me to drink the blood. That’s it.”

 

Dimitri sighs. “You were refusing to drink it. We didn’t want you to end up in a coma again.” He says brushing a strand of hair from my face.

 

I growl smack his hand. “That was not either of your choice. It was mine. How would you feel if I forced you to drink werewolf blood?” I ask angrily.

 

He flinches and pain flashes over his eyes. “I’m so sor….”

 

I cut him off. “No you’re not. Don’t apologize when you know you’re words are lies. You wanted me to be with you. Your glad he forced me. The only reason you feel bad now is because of the explanation of why I’m mad. Leave me alone for a little while. I need to cool off.” I say and turn to walk away.

 

He grabs me and pulls me to him. “That’s not the reason why. I’m sorry but not because of your explanation or because he forced you to drink the blood. Your right I do want you, but Abigail if you don’t live how will your parents feel? Your little sister? The reason I’m sorry is because you shouldn’t have to go through something like this. You should be a teen while you still can. Enjoy it instead of having to worry about everything.” He says looking me in the eyes.

 

I glare at him. “Well I’m sorry life just doesn’t work that way. It isn’t butterflies and fairies. It’s pain and suffering. Life sucks. So you can be sorry about that all you want but life won’t change. Not for me. Not for anyone. You know why? Because life likes to laugh in our face and kick us when we’re down. It like to make us miserable.” I say pushing at his chest.

 

He tightens his grip. “Life may not be great but if you let the bad thing control your life then they will. You have to fight past the bad times. You have to be sad before you know how it feels to be happy. You have to experience loss before you truly appreciate what you have. Life may kick you when you are down but you know what? Get back up and show life you won’t easily give up.” He says he kisses me on the lips.

 

I struggle at first still angry at him but ends up relaxing and kissing him back. I wrap my arms around his neck and close my eyes. His grip on me doesn’t loosen as he deepens the kiss. When he pulls away from my lips he moves to my neck. His lips brush against my mark causing me to shiver. He nips at it and licks it.

 

A small moan passes through my lips and I blush deeply. He chuckles and places his lips back on mine. The kiss is full off hunger and lust. This time not just from him. This time it’s from both of us. There’s no one else I would want to be with then him. The way he annoys me. Makes me angry at him over the stupidest things. The way he fusses over me. His touch and the way it sends electricity through me. I want him. He lights a fire inside me I didn’t think I had.

 

I feel my back go against a tree pinning me against him. His hands move under my shirt touching my bare skin sending waves of electricity and heat through me. My grip around his neck tightens and I run my hands through his hair. His hands move farther up my shirt as we continue to kiss.

 

Someone clears their throat and Dimitri sighs pulling away. He keeps me pinned to the tree and looks back to see Alex. “You’re interrupting.” He says with slight annoyance.

 

I blush and smack him on the chest. He looks at me. “What?”
 

I glare at him. He smiles. “Aww you embarrassed to be caught making out with me?” He leans down and kisses my neck. I try to pull away but he tightens his grip and nips at my mark. A small moan passes through my lips and he pulls away with a smile on his face and victory in his eyes. “Don’t be embarrassed sweety.”

 

I blush and look at Alex in apology. He shakes his head and gives a smile letting me know it’s ok. Nick comes into view with anger in his eyes. “You can’t just run like that Abigail. Mara might be dead but there’s still danger.”

 

I growl. “You should have thought about that before you forced me to drink that blood. You might be my Alpha but that still wasn't your choice to make. That was my choice. Like I said before. You have no clue what you did by forcing me to drink that blood.” I say angrily.

 

He growls. “I am only being an Alpha. Doing what is best for every member of my pack. If I hadn’t have forced you to drink that blood you would have just gotten weaker and weaker until you DIED. I did it so you would still be alive.”

 

I push Dimitri away and glare at Nick. “That wasn’t your choice to make! What if I wasn’t drinking so I would die? What if Mara is still alive and I did it so you guys wouldn’t get hurt? I decide what happens to me. Not you!” My gums itch and my fangs come out.

 

“I am still your Alpha. There are rules of this pack you need to learn. You will not talk back to me Abigail!” He says with a growl.

 

An unhuman hiss leaves my throat. Before I can do anything arms wrap around me and pull me close. I feel myself relax slightly. “Calm down my luna.” Dimitri says in my ear. He kisses my neck and I sigh relaxing. My fangs retreat and I lean against him.

 

Nick looks at me. “We are not done with this conversation Abigail.”
 

This time Dimitri growls. “Yes we are Nick. She has a point. I’m going to ask the same thing she asked me. How would you feel if someone forced you to drink werewolf blood?”

 

Nick growls. “It’s not the same. Me drinking wouldn’t have been for my survival. You know that.” He says.

 

Dimitri sighs. “It’s exactly the same thing. You forced her to drink human blood. She used to be human. If you drank werewolf blood you would feel the same way as her.”

 

Nick sighs. “Fine but she will not disrespect me again. I am still her Alpha and I will be given respect as such.”

 

Dimitri growls. “Once she goes in heat next month she will be my luna and therefore no longer a part of my pack.”

 

Nick clear his throat. I can tell that made him uncomfortable. I frown. “Wait in heat? You mean like what dogs and cats get?”

 

Dimitri kisses my neck. “Yes. You get it three months after being marked. I will explain more once we get inside.”

 

I hear Suzanah jump off the tree and my face turns bright red as she lands in front of us. She looks at me and laughs. “Oh my gosh Abigail. Your face is as red as a tomato.”

 

I growl at her. She just keeps laughing.  I roll my eyes and grab Dimitri’s hand. I walk back toward Nick’s house with Dimitri walking beside me. “You asked what if Mara was still alive. I snapped her neck. There’s no way she is still alive.” He says.

 

I look at him. “Vampires have been able to hide and survive for a long time. Do you honestly think something as simple as breaking her neck will kill her? There’s a possibility you guys are wrong.”

 

Dimitri shakes his head. “She was thrown into the lake after you had gone unconscious. There’s no way she could have survived.”

 

I sigh. Maybe he’s right. It might be paranoia that I heard Mara’s voice in my head. No one can survive their neck being snapped and being tossed in a lake. Still the feeling like their in danger isn’t fading. Last time I didn’t act on my gut feeling my family was taken from me. I need to check the lake when they are asleep. I can’t let them know that I heard her in my head.  They’ll make sure I’m never alone again. I hate it when they do that. Of course I hate feeling helpless like a little damsel in distress.

We head inside and I sit down. Dimitri sits next to me still holding my hand. “Ok now about being in heat. When that happens you will be in pain. You will feel overheated too. The other thing is any guy who isn’t already mated will want to have you. That’s why when that happens you will be locked in the guest bedroom. It’s like humans with periods because it only lasts a week. Either that or until their mate…..Well mates with them.” I see his cheeks turn a very light shade of pink.

 

I frown. “Mate?” I blush. “Oh you mean…..?” He nods.

 

Nick and the others walk in but I ignore them. “So what do you mean guys will want to have me?” I asks.

 

Alex clears his throat. “He means sexually. A female’s scent when she’s in heat is intoxicating. It’s hard for them to resist the smell and they’ll get…….spacey, distant. They won’t have control of themselves. Neither will the female. When females are in heat the crave to be touched sexually as well so at the time they won’t want to resist.”

 

Dimitri nods. “For an Alpha it’s different. If the female is from there pack and is not there mate it will not affect them as bad. That way they can help keep the other males at bay until either the mate finishes mating with his female or the female’s week of being in heat is over.”

 

I frown. “So basically any boy I come in contact with I will want to fuck and they will want to fuck me too?” I say.

 

Nick laughs. “That about sums it up.” I see Rory walk out of NIck’s bedroom with a tired look in her eyes. Nick walks over to her and kisses her. “Sorry baby. Didn’t mean to wake you up. We are just having the heat talk.”

 

Rory looks confused for a second still half way asleep apparently. I see her face light up with understanding. “Oh. That one.” She looks at me. “How’s that going?”

 

I shrug. “It’s a very…..interesting conversation.”

 

She laughs. “Don’t I know it. Don’t worry. If Dimitri happens to be gone during that time I’ll be here for ya.”

I laugh. “I appreciate it. I don’t think he’ll leave me anytime soon though. He seems to have become attached to me.” I prove my point by trying to take my hand out of his. He growl at me and squeezes my hand tighter.

 

Rory laughs as Dimitri lets go of my hand only to pull me in his lap and wrap his arms around me tightly. There’s a knock on the door and Nick goes to get it. When the door opens I see a familiar face and am surprised. It’s jack, Dimitri’s beta, he has a look of pride on his face and eagerness. “I’m sorry Alpha. I know you said you would meet me at the pack house but as soon as I got off the phone I started working on the antidote. It worked. The boy, Charles, he was able to say everything with no problem.”

 

I look at Dimitri who nods. “That’s good. What have you learned?”

 

Jack shakes his head. “I think you need to hear it from him.” Then my kidnapper walk in next to him.

 

Before any of the have a chance to react I have Charles pinned to the ground my hand wrapped around his throat. I growl at him but keep my hand loose so he can breathe. He looks at me wide eyed.

 

Everyone goes into action but I glare at them. “Don’t.” With that one word they all stop. I look back at Charles. “You ever pull a stunt like you did and I’ll rip your throat out. You will tell me and them everything you know. If I sense you’re lying I will kill you.” My voice is deep and full of danger. I squeeze for emphasis before getting up. He stays on the ground and everyone stares at me.

 

“What?” I growl at them. “I didn’t kill him. Be glad I did that much. I walk into the kitchen and grab a cup and fill it with cold water. I down it and sigh. My fangs are itching to come back out and I know I won’t be able to stop myself from killing him if that happens. I head to the bathroom and look in the mirror. My eyes have the red rim around them again.

 

I sit on the edge of the tub with a sigh. There’s a knock on the door. “You ok in there?” Dimitri asks.

 

“I’m fine. I just think it’s time for me to call it a night. I’m tired.” I lie.

 

The door opens and Dimitri walks in. He looks at me. “That’s not what it looked like a minute ago.” He says.

 

I shrug. “I couldn’t help it. Just the sight of him made me really angry.” I say.

 

Dimitri walks over to me and picks me up. “Alright. I’ll put you to bed and tell you what he said in the morning then.”

 

I nod. “Ok.”

 
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