The Worst Scars Can't Be Seen

Katelyn has been struggling most of her life. Ever since she was a young child, she had been going through more than anybody could even imagine, scaring her permanently. She has a hard time trusting others and feeling safe because of that, and she doesn't think she'll ever come back from it.


2. Light In The Dark

*trigger warning: self-harm and suicide attempt*

The years after her mother's death were close to a blur. Katelyn couldn't remember much of her elementary years, other than meeting her best friend, Nicole.

She met her as she was being bullied, a small, redhead girl that was curled into a ball on the floor, a crying mess. Standing above her were two girls, one with pink hair, and the other with lavender hair and cat ears. Katelyn had scared them off by throwing a few punches, and taking the little redhead girl to the nurses office. Her misty gray eyes were still filled with tears, and her hair was as ruby red as the small amount of blood that was flowing from a few cuts on her arms. Katelyn had wrapped the cuts with some medical tape she always carried with her, and the girl had given her a hug after introducing each other. That had began their friendship.

Other than her best friend, Katelyn could remember hardly any of her childhood. Her father had taken to drinking after losing his wife and her mother, desperate for some let out of the pain. He came home incoherently, shouting angry things at his young daughter and younger son, eventually passing out on the couch, or in his bed. All Katelyn and Kacey really had was each other, for most of their childhood.

As the middle school years arrived, Katelyn could remember more of them. She took some discovering to realize that she was bisexual, but never told a soul for many years. The pain of losing her mother began to take its toll on her around 7th grade, and she began to look at knives in different ways. Soon enough, in the coming and passing months, her thighs and upper arms bared thin cuts across them, self-made. She always wore sleeves that were long enough to hide them, and she never wore shorts short enough to show them. She lived in fear of being bullied, on top of the trauma she already had to bear. 

She got tougher. Fist fights were nearly a regular occurrence for her, and soon, many kids were afraid of her in 8th grade. She had a glare that sent shivers up spines, and her icy eyes were as cold as they were in color. She rarely smiled, and grew out her sidebang to cover part of her eye, mainly to hide the frequent black eyes she sported. She joined volleyball, quickly keeping her team from failure many times. She felt she had finally found her place.

Until, that is, she found the combination of the lock of the liquor cabinet.

She began to set down her knives and pick up the bottles, not addicted, but just using them every so often to help her get by. She renamed the Vodka her "happy juice" which she told no one of. Not even Nicole knew her secrets.

Her high school years were some of the worst of all. She was abused at home, and she abused herself. One of the only things she was proud of about herself was that she kept her brother and her friends from doing what she was doing to herself. She slowly began to get over her bad habits, finding herself a nice boyfriend in the process, who helped her become happy again.

Her progress stopped when she became pregnant with his child, and he left her.

She had nowhere to go, no one to go to, and no help to receive. She was alone.

The day her pregnancy was revealed to the school, through the words of her ex, was the day the rumors spread. The day she got hard glares and sharp whispers, demeaning slurs about her floating around. Nicole stayed by her side through it all, not letting her get the worst of it all, but something inside her snapped. Katelyn broke.

She ran home out of school, leaving her class without a word, and running all the way home. Her father wasn't there, nor her brother, and it was just her.

Her beeline was to the bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet and taking many of every pill they had. She grabbed a razor from the shower and, in an instant, felt the blood rushing down her wrists and onto the floor. She sat in the bathtub, her vision blurring and becoming hazy as she texted Nicole "I'll miss you, but don't miss me."

The last thing she heard and saw that day was the sound of a door opening and footsteps pounding up the stairs, followed by a redheaded girl screaming in terror.

Katelyn had awoken in the hospital a few days later, her wrists stitched up, and had her injuries wrapped up. Nicole was sitting next to her hospital bed, asleep against the mattress, tears staining her face. Katelyn regretted everything she did, but now she was hopeless. She didn't have anything to look forward to, or anything to help her. 

The world around her was dark and cold, and she was alone in the dark. Nicole was a light, along with her baby, and her brother. They lit up her dark world, so she decided that she would never try and leave them again.

Months into her pregnancy, Katelyn had to leave school, as she was bullied too much for being pregnant. She did her schooling online, and stayed at Nicole's house for most of the time, unable to stay at her own home any longer. She did her schooling online up until the second year of college, which she attended with her three year old daughter, Abby. She continued to get strange looks in the hallways, and snide whispers about her and Abby as she passed. She ignored them with the help and support of Nicole, which got her through her years in college. When she finished with her degree, she was more proud of herself than she had ever been. She could finally sleep at night without being awoken by her constant PTSD-induced attacks, and she didn't abuse herself for a long while.

As an adult, she lived with her friends Aphmau, Kawaii~Chan, and Nicole. They helped her cheer up, understanding her situations, and she told them what she had been doing and what she had learned about herself. They continued to accept her and help her, and Katelyn couldn't have wished for better friends.

The only slight problems she had in her adult years was a constant annoyance, a flirt known as Travis. Other than that, her ex-boyfriend took her daughter every other week, as they shared custody of her. And Katelyn didn't mind that. She was determined to never get into a relationship, as she was strong and independent. Her friends all fell in love and had crushes, but she was focused on never falling in love again. The last time she did, it ended up with a child and years of bullying. But even she couldn't fight the unstoppable, unpredictable, powerful force of love.

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