Is this love?

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  • Published: 21 May 2018
  • Updated: 22 May 2018
  • Status: Complete
Looking back, I can see why people would call me a slut. But that sure as hell doesn’t give them the right to do it.
They broke me. Can I ever be fixed again?


3. A new guy?

It was new years. Me and my girls invited a lot of people over. Even people who we didn’t even know. Older guys came. I talked and flirted a lot with this one guy, K. K was a few years older. He was my friends older brother. He was cute, kind and funny. I guess I liked him. After new years we texted non stop for a couple of weeks. He was funny and I dug that. We went to eat sushi and we played board games at home. We always did something. We always talked and we had a lot to talk about. We didn’t have sex. We tried. He was a virgin. And I had always been drunk when with a guy. This was different. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves. It didn’t work with the sex. Anything else worked for us. He later broke it off with me. I was ok. He was a good guy, I knew that. But the attraction to him wasn’t there. It was awkward to see him afterwards, but we eventually talked about it and now we both are in a relationship and we are both happy for each other. He lied about me. my old friend from preschool, who also knows him, said that he broke up with me because I was too tight down there. I don’t know why he said that to everyone. I didn’t tell everyone that he was a virgin. But that just shows how people are different. He has also apologized for this, saying that he was just ignorant and embarrassed. I have forgiven him.

I continued to live my life to the fullest. There weren´t as many guys as there used to be. But I had a blast.

People still called me a slut. People laughed at me. People hated on me, gave me looks and they just weren´t nice. 

I were once in a relationship with a guy. Before all this. I thought that he was the love of my life. But then I was young and ignorant. He left me for another girl. He told me he broke up with me because his mom had cancer. I felt terrible. His mom is living her best life right now, she is cancerfree. I know it must have been hard on him. But he didn’t care enough to involve me in it. He found comfort in another girl, MM. I knew they were texting more than he was texting me. I could see that on the snapchat friend list. I was on the other side of the world. He wouldn’t talk to me, so he broke up with me. Him and MM are still together to this day. He hurt me. He really did. I didn’t think that I could find someone like him ever again. We don’t talk today, I refuse to talk to him. I think he broke me a little. And after that I just continued to break myself.


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