Common Ground

Childhood friends, turned more, turned upside down


26. Letters


I was doing my school work the next morning, hardly focusing. I felt like Trevor was a million miles away from me even though he did tell me what was going on. This whole tour thing was coming on so fast and a part of me knew he was right. It was all happening so fast and it would make us or break us and that shit scared me. I wasn’t, and didn’t think I would ever be ready to lose him. Everything I did was for him since this was his dream but I never actually came to the conclusion that it was mine as well. I just wanted to make his dreams come true I lost sight of myself and it could possibly break up and be our downward spiral…

“Hey sweetie; you look a little lost in thought.” I smiled up at Claire, not sure what to say. I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk to her about it.

“Just still really tired and zoning out a bit, I guess.”

“That makes sense. Do you want some coffee to help you wake up a bit and focus a bit more?”

“That would be great.” I said quietly.

“I’ll be right back.” I nodded as Claire walked off and I felt like shit all over again. I wish I thought of all of this before I decided to do all this shit for them. I tried to shake the feeling as Claire came back with my coffee before heading off to work. I slowly sipped at it, slowly making my way through my school work. 

After hours of work, Matt and Trevor finally came home and I practically begged Matt to go to the gym with me since I fucking needed it, and a friend. We were dead silent on the way there and I could see him keep looking over at me. You could feel the sad, awkward tension in the room.

“What’s wrong?” Matt finally asked halfway through our gym session.

“I just…I don’t know. Trevor and I finally talked through everything but I still feel like there’s something missing. I don’t know what it is though.”

“Maybe you guys actually need a day out or something; a date? When was the last time you two spent one on one time with each other?”

“I don’t even remember. Definitely before the tour and party…”

“Exactly; maybe that’s what you guys need. Tension has been high, stress has been flying all over the group, maybe you guys just need a break from the music thing and take a few hours and actually go out on a date like real couples instead of sitting in a studio making music like no couple ever.” Matt pointed out.

“Yeah but it’s like our job now to make music and shit…”

“Yeah? So? Take a fucking break and focus on you guys. You two and your relationship should always come first; not our jobs.”

“Do you really think that will fix it?”

“Fuck, I don’t think it will fully fix shit but it’s a step in the right direction and god knows you both need it. You also need to learn to fucking communicate. I love you both but shit I feel like I’m in the relationship as well with how much you guys come to me for advice. Which, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to help but some things are just so dumb it’s like I want to smack you both and make you rethink everything you’re saying to me.”

“Shit, I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be; just try and talk to Trevor before you talk to me. And it isn’t just you either. He needs to work on that shit too.”

“Maybe I’ll ask him if he wants to do something Thursday…”

“Yeah, that would be a good idea; you both need a break. And plus, we have practice tomorrow and school the next morning.”

“Yeah, I’m well aware.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Good. Fucking get your shit together.” I half laughed before fully focusing back on what I was doing and going back to the silence.

Once back at the house, Trevor was in the bedroom writing and I half smiled and sat down next to him before I even made a move for our bathroom to shower. He half glanced up at me to smile before looking back down. So I guess what Matt said had some, or a lot of truth to it. We were so focused on music we weren’t focusing on us.

“Hey you…” I finally said, interrupting him.  

“Hey babe; how was the gym?” He said, barely glancing up.

“Can you put that down for just a second, please?”

“Yeah, let me just finish my though…” He trailed off and I nodded, knowing the feeling. “Okay, what’s up? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just think we need to rethink our priorities a little.”

“What do you mean?” He looked wildly confused but I just shrugged and kept going.

“Like, we’ve gotten so warped into this music thing we put all our time and effort into it so we don’t actually have time for us and our relationship. I know I’ve been doing the same as you but I just think we don’t focus on just us enough, or at all as of late.”

“Well, what did you have in mind then?”

“I don’t know to be honest. I was just thinking that on Thursday after you get home we could have a date night. We can figure it out as we go or whatever.”

“That sounds perfect.” Trevor smiled at me and leaned over to kiss me before jokingly making a grossed out face. “Ew, you’re gross; go shower.” I laughed and smiled, shoving him, before walking off to the bathroom to shower.



 The next day at school, Emily was peppering me with questions about Bethany’s birthday party since it got put on the back burner due to the tour this weekend. I had my face shoved in my hands, feeling like shit since I’ve made no progress whatsoever. I was rubbing my temples trying not to lose it since I know I had to get this done.

“Fuck, Em, I don’t even know. Like I got as far as creating the list but that’s it. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do and I literally finished the list last night while Bethany was at the gym.”

“Okay well we can have it at my house so the pool party idea is a go. Now we just need to get the invites out and everything, and figure out food and drinks. You did actually write up the invite cards, correct?”

“Yeah, here you go. They all go here except a few of my family members and Kaylee; those people I just texted and said I would send them an address once I figured out who’s house it was going to be at so I didn’t need to actually mail them and hope to god they got to them on time.”

“Perfect. Okay, so music, food, drinks…” Emily said.

“Hey, what are you guys doing?” Aviana asked, walking over with Vienna.

“Planning Bethany’s surprise birthday party!” Emily said happily.

“Ooh! How can we help?” Vienna asked, sitting down.

“Well, music; any ideas?” Emily asked.

“I think just setting up an iPod so people can play whatever should be fine with her. I mean, she hates this day as it is so, I think anything will make her happy.” Aviana said, glaring at me, sitting down as well.

“Yes, I know Aviana; Emily broke the fucking news that I’m a dick; no need to give me nasty ass looks.”

“Damn, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Vienna said, looking over at me.

“I’m just fucking exhausted. I feel like I never sleep anymore and now Bethany thinks our relationship needs to be worked on or some shit like that…” I ran my hands through my hair and sighed.

“Wait, what? What did she say?” Emily asked.

“She said we focus too much on the music and don’t make enough time for just us, her and I; so we have a date night planned for tomorrow but like it just sounds so bad.” I groaned.

“Uh no, that’s her trying to nicely say FUCK WORK SOMETIMES AND JUST GIVE ME YOUR ATTENTION SO I KNOW YOU STILL LOVE ME!” Aviana snapped. “Jesus, Trevor; does everything she says remotely not positive mean something about the relationship isn’t going well and she’s going to leave you?”

“After this weekend and how many fights we’ve been getting into s of late, yes.”

“Well stop. That can and actually will ruin your relationship. She literally just wants to spend time with you without any distractions of work. There is no underlying message there.” Aviana said, shaking her head.

“Well than I guess thanks for that. But anyway; food and drinks? It is a pool party so…”

“We can take care of that. That’ll be our little input or help.” Vienna said, smiling.

“Okay, decorations I said I would already take care of since it is at my house; do you guys think you can come over after school on Friday to set it up since her birthday is Saturday afternoon until when the fuck ever?” Emily asked.

“Yeah sure.” Aviana and Vienna said together. They all turned to me and I just shook my head.

“No, I have band practice that night and I typically do my homework before so I don’t have to do homework all weekend. And after all that, I like to spend a little time with Bethany awake before we both fall asleep from being so damn tired.” I said, shrugging. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t worry about it. Vienna and Aviana will be enough help as it is. Thanks guys.” Emily was smiling and sighed. “Okay so let’s split these up between the four of us and start handing them out; break it up by who we typically see the most to make this as easy as possible.” Emily said as we started digging through the pile on who we knew for a fact we would see and grabbed them.

When I got home from school, I saw Bethany getting ready for the gym with Matt again before practice and I just realized I really did miss her and what she said yesterday really did make sense. I sleep next to this girl every night, and yet I miss her this much. I know missing her is a part of keeping a healthy relationship especially with how things played out, but I missed her in a way where I thought I never saw her, and I did, all the time.

I looked back at the times we had when she showed me her mountain top, and when I took her to the playground, when we got tattoos, the date night here I surprised her with, the party here, Logan’s party…it all came flooding back how much I loved spending that time with her and that feeling of missing her came crashing at me. I watched her tie her shoes and I half smiled. I wanted her to stay but I knew this was her day; she needed this time with Matt and I wasn’t going to fight her. We had tomorrow and we were going to have this weekend and honestly, I was going to give her a killer actually birthday, just her and I as well. Even if it did mean late at night after her gym time with Matt and after band practice.

“Have fun at the gym; I’ll see you later.” She half smiled at me and kissed me goodbye.

“Thanks babe; see you later.” She walked off and I fell back onto the bed, trying to figure out what in the hell I could do for her birthday on Monday; just us.

“BREE, ALEXIS!” I called, walking downstairs into the living room where they were sitting.

“What do you want?” Bree groaned.

“I need your help…”

“Of course you do; what do you want to do for Bethany now?” Alexis asked, smirking.

“That’s the thing…I have no idea. Like her birthday is Monday, between Emily and I we have her surprise party planned, but I want something for her and I to do Monday after her gym time and band practice. I know it can’t be too over the top since we have school the next morning and practice doesn’t end until like 6 or 9, but I still want to do something for her since she knows I have no idea when her actual birthday is; or at least used to not know and was always a month late on saying anything…”

“At least you know you’re an asshole.” Bree pointed out. “But Bethany doesn’t need big and romantic; she just likes knowing it your guys.”

“I mean, she does like big and romantic, she is a girl, but it doesn’t always have to be. Like, this can be a thing where you just do something small and meaningful.” Alexis added in. I sat down with them and we went over every possible detail of something that I could do for her birthday.



After Matt and I got back from the gym, we were our usual 10 minutes late as we ran downstairs since Alex, Trevor, and Tim would be waiting on us. I was giggling along with Matt and his ridiculousness as we made it downstairs. I threw my bag on the ground like usual as they all shook their heads at us.

“Are you ever going to make it on time?” Tim joked.

“Never!” Matt said, jumping around.

“Why is he so hyped up?” Alex asked, turning to me.

“We saw Kaylee getting to the gym as we were leaving so he’s happy.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Is that why you’re always late?” Trevor joked.

“No, just this time.” I smiled at him as we started getting set up just go do a basic run down of the newer songs today to perfect them even more so. We didn’t want to start working on a new song just yet since we had added so many already.

After practice, which was mainly goofing off a lot since we had more time to prep, Trevor and I were up in our room just relaxing. I was reading a book and he was just doing some more writing, or continuing his writing from the other day that is; it was nice to have some relaxing time with him since we haven’t had this in what felt like forever. We were either fighting or on the road so it’s been a bit since this has happened and it felt so needed.

“You okay there?” Trevor said, looking at me. “I can feel you staring at me.” He smirked.

“Yeah, I just miss this I guess. I miss being able to just relax with you.”

“I missed this too. It makes more sense to me now what you meant by having tomorrow as a date night and what not. I’m not going to lie, I didn’t understand at first, I just said we could since you wanted it but now I really understand it.” I smiled and leaned my head on him.

“Thank you.”

“For what? I didn’t do anything.”

“Just being you.” Trevor kissed my forehead and I felt myself slowly drift off to sleep.



After Bethany fell asleep, I was going through my nightstand drawer trying to find a pen. Mine had run out of ink and I knew I kept a shit load in there, or at least thought I had. I seemed to have gone through all of them now that I was going through everything. As I was digging I found a piece of paper folded up with my name on it, confused, I picked it up and slowly unfolded it.


You know I don’t know how to say this out loud sometimes but I just want to tell you I love you. You mean the world to me and I have no idea what I would do without you. You mean the world to me and I don’t know what I would do without you in my life. I never thought we would end up here but now that we have, I never want this adventure to end. I want you to be my adventure forever; walking up next to you, fighting with you, loving you, our memories, falling asleep next to you, band practices, all the good and the bad; I love all of it and I wouldn’t want to share my heart with anyone besides you. You are the love of my life and whenever I feel like I can tell you I always feel like it’s not a good time and that no time is perfect but I realize that no time is ever going to be perfect but I know I need to tell you somehow that I am so in love with you it sometimes hurts. I love you with everything in me, and I wouldn’t want to fight with anyone or have all the good times with anyone else except you. I love you Trevor Wentworth.


I smiled to myself, wondering how long this had been sitting in there. I looked over at Bethany and she was still sound asleep. I went back to digging and finally found and pen and decided to write her back… sappy, just like her sometimes.

At school the next day, I had people coming up to me RSVP-ing to Bethany’s party and everyone saying out great what Emily and I were doing. I just would check off their name and keep going on with my day, wondering if Bethany had found my note. For all I know it could be weeks since I kept my mouth like she seemed to have done, but I really was curious.

“Okay, so Melissa texted me…” I said, walking over to Emily after lunch, by our lockers.

“Okay, and?”

“She has about like 15 more people coming that are good friends of Bethany’s back from when she was a part of this music program with her.”

“Damn, okay, that’s cool.”

“Yeah…sure.” I said, running my hands through my hair.

“What’s wrong?” Emily asked.

“Damian wants to come…”

“That’s her ex, right?”

“Yeah, that’s him…Melissa said it was my call on if it was cool or not…”

“Dude, say no.” Emily said, shocked I was debating this. “Has she said anything that would lead you to believe she wants to be friends with this guy?”

“No; she says she avoids him because he still loves her.”

“So tell her no, Damian cannot fucking come.” Emily said, rolling her eyes. I sighed and texted Melisa my response. “Why are you so blah about this?”

“Because I feel bad for some reason. Like I know she doesn’t want him there but at the same time, I feel really weird telling her someone can’t come.” I said slowly.

“Well Bethany wouldn’t want him there based off what little she has told you about him so don’t even feel bad.” I nodded, knowing she was right.

“You’re right.”

“As always.” Emily said, rolling her eyes. “Anything else birthday wise though?”

“Nope; that’s all I got.”

“Okay; I have to go though so I’ll see you later.” I nodded as she walked off, and I was right back to my thoughts about the letter I wrote her and if she had found it yet or not.

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