Diary

I was a mess... People walked away and came back... I don’t know what type of story it is, but it’s mine.

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1. Goodbyes

October, 2017

Just when I thought things were going good... he got kicked out...

I can’t blame her since I don’t know the details ,but it scares me...

He was like a father to me... I honestly love him so much... he’s been there for me through so many hard times.. I just don’t even know what to think or say or do...

I don’t wanna be home right now ,but I don’t wanna leave my mom alone through these times... I don’t know what he did to her, I don’t know what she did to him... she’s just trying to get rid of all their memories,

I attempted that before with Brennen... deleting all our pictures, erasing every message he had sent me, throwing away any trace of him. But that story is for another moment...

But it’s just sad watching tears stream down my dads face... I began to remember the last time a father figure walked out the door...

he was sweet and yes he got drunk a lot and got into fights, but I was little... I didn’t know that it would lead to something more than just a friend my mom had... then they broke up and I went through the devastation of seeing him leave....

And now I’m going through the same exact thing... I’m trying to be strong, thinking maybe it’s for the best ,but I know my mom... she doesn’t trust easily and she judges quickly... I don’t know what he did ,but was it really that bad?

Was it to bad that she kicked him out of the house and made him stay in a car for a whole night....

Was it so bad that he was in tears as he walked out of the door...

He dropped something and I ran to “help” him, just wanting to know what was actually happening, as he continued to exit with his belongings.. then I noticed the tears forming on his face... I tried so hard not to let tears form in my eyes as I helped him pick up the tool that were scattered on the floor...

I looked him in the eyes and we both stood up as we embraced each other in a hug... the tears slipped out of my eyes and soft cries of defeat entered the atmosphere as we both contemplated the last moment together..

He slowly walked away as he placed everything in his car, I slowly walked back to the table as I blankly starred at my homework...

Having to finish a whole essay the night before I had to turn it in, it was tough, how would I be able to focus? My dad was slowly slipping away...

I didn’t think he’d leave, I mean they had argued before ,but no... it wasn’t real to me....

The words he whispered... saying that he loved me and he would always be here for me echo in my head as I think back to the moment...

I don’t wanna loose him...

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