One scream at a time

The world did not end with a bang or a whisper but rather one scream at a time.
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Lila hates missions to the outside world, for two main reasons: 1) The outside world is dangerous and filled with scary things. 2) she would much rather be curled by the artificially generated fire with a good book. So why does she go to one of the most prestigious schools for missions in The Dome?
Will she ever get together with the beautiful Genevieve? and when handed information important for the survival of the human race should she pass it on or let humans peacefully die out?
.... what? I'm not going to tell you now. I'm not going to spoil it for you, you've got to find out for yourself

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7. Under the desk

Felicity puts her hand on Lila’s shoulder, but Lila shrugs it off. Felicity starts talking, about statistics, “what a tragic loss” and what’s going to happen with the school. Everything Lila doesn’t give two shits about. Solitary tears make dark splodges on the ground. Eventually, Felicity realises Lila isn’t going to respond and she mumbles something about giving her some space and the room files out. An apologetic Thud and she is alone. She collapses onto the floor. The tears flow constantly, if she’s crying she doesn’t have to think. She could just be here, curled up in a ball on her mother’s floor.  Not for much longer. It will be someone else’s floor soon.

She opens her eyes, her face hot and sticky with tears. Tears, that blot out her vision. Her desk, the papers, they might take them. She gets up, her legs wobbly but determined. Scanning the room, she locates her bag, that she carelessly dropped on her way in. She crawls over to the desk and begins to stuff the contents of the drawers into her bag.

She scoffed when this bag was bought. I thought it was stupid to have a bag this big, but mum insisted she said it would come in useful. Another sob rises, nearly pushing her to the floor. But she fights, this job, this task giving her a purpose. One finished, she opens the next one and continues her mission. Shoving loose paper, notebooks, all. In the last draw is a small lilac notebook and it doesn’t quite fit in her bag, so she zips her overstuffed bag closed and crawls under the desk, slipping the last notebook into her pocket.

In a tight ball under her mother’s mahogany desk she cries and cries until she can cry no longer. Then she just sits there, emptily staring at the inside of the desk.  She doesn’t care what comes next. She surrenders herself to fate. Well not really fate, she is too pessimistic to believe in fate. Surrendering herself to the unknown.

“Lila, Lila…”calls a soft voice coming from the outside of the room. Lila makes a soft grunting sound. Letting them know she’s alive, but the noise is quite similar to the growling sound of a lion in pain. Only those who care enough will come near her, for of the risk of a bite. There’s a shuffling noise and Felicity’s face appears at the open side of the desk. She sees Lila’s red raw face and then she does something she’s never done before. She slides off her high heels and crawls under the desk. This surprises Lila enough that she stops crying for a second and doesn’t flinch away from felicity’s embrace. “We all loved your mother you know?” Felicity says into her shoulder. “She was so full of hope and dreams. When we were all in our darkest places she made us believe it would work, and that it was worth it, for the children. That’s what she did all this for, the children. You. I know she wasn’t the best of mum’s, I was always telling her to stop going out on her missions, to spend more time with you. But she never listened. She wanted to help everyone even if that meant you were alone. Everyone has their faults, you know.” On and on she went, every story she could remember about Maria. She definitely repeated somethings, but Lila didn’t mind.

She learnt that when she was younger Felicity would babysit her when Maria went on missions. But one day Maria decided she didn’t need help anymore, that Lila would be fine on her own. But she never took Felicity off her will. “So now, you will come to live with me, and Genevieve, and Poppy and Albert.” Wait what? “what?” Lila croaked out a reply. Felicity leans back from the hug and looks into Lila’s eyes. “It’s in her will, if she ever died you would come live with us.” She says, somehow still looking at ease with make up running in blotches down her face. “We should probably go soon, get you settled in before Genevieve and Poppy get back from school.” I’m going to live with Genevieve? That piece of information makes Lila’s stomach clench: she was happy because she’d get to see more of Genevieve but also, terrified of being near her. What will it do to my feelings? Also, there’s Poppy, Genevieve’s sister and Albert, Felicity’s husband: new people she will have to learn to live with. The tears come rushing back up, luckily Felicity assumes it is still to do with Maria and hugs Lila again. 

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