Trust Is A Funny Word

Bad decisions...we all make them it’s part of our nature, sometimes we don’t even understand we are making a bad decision until later.
Whether it’s not doing something in time, saying something to someone, or even not saying anything, we still regret it later, that’s why they are called bad decisions.


2. It didn’t seem so bad at the start

C2: It didn’t seem so bad at the start

The ride home was torture, she told him my answer, she told him I said yes, and now the only thing that was left for me to do was wait. I know that I’m probably overeating, and it isn’t such a big deal but wait for what? An answer, a rejection, or something else entirely. The suspense was killing me. So much shit was running through my head, so many questions, I couldn’t even focus on what my friends were telling me. But if he was actually gonna do anything how was he going to do it..In person? On the phone? Through text? Plus if he was gonna do anything then he needed to do it today, otherwise we could run out of time. I would have been sitting there staring into space for much longer, but one of my friends shook.


“Huh, yes?”

“You all good there?, you seem a bit off...”

“Yea I’m fine just thinking”

That was a lie.

“Are you sure, you know you can tell me anything.”

“Yes thank you, but I’m fine”

That was another lie.

I should probably stop doing that. Sometimes I think that I should open up a little more to people, tell them how I honestly feel, or how I’m doing, trust them I guess.... but then the voice in my head shuts down all of my ideas by telling me that I’m stupid and annoying and basically an unreasonable idiot, and that nobody actually cares about how I’m doing, and that’s when all my intentions about opening up to people fade, and I’m just left sitting there, telling people that I’m fine and I don’t need help. Wow thank god I’m at least good at lying, otherwise this would most likely be impossible. These were the thoughts that accompanied me for the rest of the bus ride to college.

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