Silenced Thoughts

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30. 30


I spent many of my nights crying

Crying myself to sleep

I was worthless and at fault

I let him do that to me

I let him get away with the crime

My mother added fuel to my self-esteem

She should've undsterstood 

She went through it too

But she silenced me

To not tell his mother

To not tell their mother

My mother was proctecting him over her own daughter

She was the begining of my tears and the reason why I forced myself to sleep

Because sleeping was my only way to truly hide from the outside world


Or so I told myself 


Every night, I would pray to my God

To proctect me, to forgive me

I prayed to have good dreams, to send over angels to look after me

But every night as I fell into a deep slumber

A memory would become my nightmare

So I would wake up and pray again

God please forgive me for my sins and cleanse me

Let me have good dreams, send angels over to me

Please protect me

In Jesus' name, I command it. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

And Amen.

The cycle began again and I would get some sleep

Thankfully forgetting those nightmares the second time around




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