Inside the hospital

Taehyung and Jungkook are friends. They are gay. And they are in love with each other. But they get depressing news: Jungkook has a deadly illness. He can survive and he can die.


3. This can´t be true


                                        Next week
I wake up and have a strange feeling. It´s today, we will find out what´s wrong with Kookie. I take a shower, get dressed and eat breakfast. Then it´s time to meet with Jungkook. I´m at the meeting point earlier that I thought. I go into a random coffee shop and buy a coffee for myself and one for Jungkook. As I pay, I see Jungkook outside. It´s not easy to open the door with a cup in both hands. I use my shoulder and finally get it up. Hey, I say. He turns around. Oh, hi, he says and smiles. I smile back. Here, I say, and give him his coffee. Thanks. He takes it and looks surprised. I was early and then I saw the coffee shop, I explain. He nods. None of us speak. We just walk in the direction of the doctor. Jungkook stops in front of the door to the doctor. Tae? he almost whispers. I look at him. I´m scared. I hug him. It´s okay, I say, again and again. He looks up at me and our eyes meet. It´s a very special feeling. It feels like world around us stops and all sounds is gone. At the same time, it feels like a weird butterfly dude, has let his whole butterfly troop out in my stomach. I get dragged into his dark brown eyes. He is so close. I take his hand and he takes mine. Can I kiss him? Our lips meet for a short moment. We both jump back and look at each other. I think we should go in now, I awkwardly say, and feel the blushing roll up in my face. He nods and blushes. We go in with an awkward silence. We sit on two chairs beside each other, looking in different directions. Who kissed who? And why? Now it´s awkward between us. Does he like me?  I don´t want to think about it. It doesn’t matter right now. The thing that matter today, is what´s wrong with Jungkook.

The door into Doctors office opens, and an older woman comes out. Behind her, Doctor stands. Come in, he quietly says. His tone of voice makes me worried. Again, we sit in front of him, on the other side of the table. He folds his hands and hesitates. I don´t know how to say this, he begins. Oh no! Jungkook grabs my hand. The awkwardness is gone. Jungkook, you have a deadly illness. Outside, a car is waiting for you. It will drive you to the hospital. There, your doctor will answer your questions. He looks at me. The idea, that you go with him. I nod. We go outside, to the car.



I still can´t believe it. Deadly illness. It has to be a joke. It just has to. But why joke about that? I look at Taehyung. He looks serious. He looks at me for a moment and then looks away. I can see a tear in his eyes. I take his hand. Don´t cry, I whisper. He looks at me again. I can see he try to hold back the tears, but it doesn´t work. He squeezes my hand and try to smile. I rest my head on his shoulder. Taehyung, stay with me, I whisper. I don´t want to do this alone. Of course, he promises. I close my eyes, and  keep them closed until we stop at the hospital.

A nurse walks over to us. Hi, she says. Jungkook right? I nod. And he is? she asks and looks at Taehyung. My friend. She nods. Come with me. I´ll take you to your doctor. We walk in silence. I feel sad. Not because of my sickness, I still can´t believe it, but because of the definition of Taehyung I as my friend. I want him as more than a friend. I realize that we´re still holding hands. That´s the way I want it.

We stop in front of a door and the nurse knocks. Come in, a voice replies. She opens and we go in. A man stands beside a window and looks out. The nurse closes the door behind us. The doctor turns around and looks at us. His hair is black and he wears a white coat. His shoulders are very broad. Hello, he says. My name is Seokjin and I´ll be your doctor at this hospital. Hello, we both say. Sit down, he says, and for the second time that day, we sit in front of a doctor.

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