Inside the hospital

Taehyung and Jungkook are friends. They are gay. And they are in love with each other. But they get depressing news: Jungkook has a deadly illness. He can survive and he can die.


4. Taehyung, I won´t die



Jungkook is asleep in a hospital bed. Seokjin has explained us about the illness. I sit beside the bed and don´t know what to do. I take my phone and call my mom. Hello sweetie, mom´s voice says. Hey, I say, thinking about what to say. What´s up, she says. Then I begin to cry. Once I have started, it´s hard to stop again. What´s wrong, she almost shouts, and sounds worried. It´s Jungkook, I say, between the sobs. He has a deadly illness, and is in the hospital. What? I can´t say more, only cry. Where are you now? She asks. I can hear someone talking in the background.  In the hospital with him. Can you call his parents? She promises to do so and we hung up. I lay my face in my hands and cry. People walk in and out. Someone gives me some water. I thank the person and take Kookie´s hand. He looks so relaxed when he´s sleeping. So peaceful. Then he wakes up. He shakes his head, trying to focus. Sleep, I say. You need it. I´m scared, he whispers. It´s okay, I say. It´s okay to be scared. I say it again and again, holding his hand until he falls asleep again.



When I wake up, I´m alone, laying in a bed. I look around. The room is white and almost empty. The door opens and a nurse walks in. You´re awake, she smiles. I nod, still tired. Hungry, I whisper. I´ll get you some food, she says and leaves. Alone again. I wonder where Taehyung is. He´s probably home. It´s fair enough, but it would be nice to have him here. The nurse comes back with some food and water. I smile at her, can´t find the strenght to speak. She sits down on a chair beside my bed. I begin to eat. Your friend will be happy, when he finds out, you´re awake, the nurse tells me. My friend? I ask and stop eating. Yeah, the guy with the box smile. Box smile. It must be Taehyung. Is Taehyung here? I ask her. Ah yes, he hasn´t left you once. He just was by your side all the time you slept. Is it true? she nods. Right now, he´s in the cafeteria to get some food. It was not easy to make him leave you, even not for a short break. We smile at each other. The door opens again. This time, Taehyung walks in. I send him a little smile. Jungkook? You´re awake! he almost shouts. I smile when he sends me the iconic box smile, that makes him look so adorable. The nurse gives him the chair. I think you two need some time to talk, she says, before she leaves, closing the door behind her. You stayed with me, I say, without looking at him. The food gave me more energy, so I can speak normally, not only whisper. Of course I did. He lays a hand on my arm. Thanks. Now I look at him. No problem, he smiles. Do you remember, you were awake for a short moment? I have no idea  what he´s talking about. He laughs when he sees my confused face. It doesn´t surprise me. To be honest, you looked like you haven´t slept for a week. I continue to eat. What happened? Argh, not that much. You said you were scared and I held your hand till you fell asleep again. I look down. I can´t remember at all. He lays a hand on my shoulder. Hey, he softly says. I look at him. It´s okay to be afraid. I know, I say, trying to convince myself. I´m scared too. I´m scared of losing you. Tae has tears in his eyes. Taehyung, I won´t die, I say, almost crying. He stands up from his chair and comes up beside me in the bed. I hug him and he hugs me. Now I cry. Soon Taehyung also cry, so we just sit and cry in each other´s arms. I don´t know how long we sit there, but at least we can´t cry more. So we just sit. We doesn´t talk, just sit in silence. Sometimes one of us sobs a little. Nurses come and go. I can´t tell how they look like. The only thing I notice is Taehyungs arms around me.

Jungkook! mom whispers. She walks over to my bed and dad follows her. She takes my hand. Hello, I say. Why didn´t you told us, when you found out? dad wonders. Don´t know. Tired, I answer him. They forgive me and fill my head with their love. After a while, it´s too much of parent´s “we-will-always-love-you”-talk, at once. I don´t know how to handle it, so I tell them, I´m tired and need to sleep, and then they leave. And I didn´t lied to them. I am actually tired. I close my eyes and relax. Soon I´m asleep.

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