Saviour for the Broken

Tommy Joe Ratliff falls into a deep dark depression and starts cutting because he falls in love with his boss Adam Lambert. But Adam doesn't return the feelings until he stumbles into the bathroom to an unconscious Tommy. After that Tommy has to battle not only his demons but also the hatred on social media


10. Tommy's POV

A month later Adam comes out of the music room with huge smile on his face, he walks into the lounge room where I am trying to relax on the couch. He jumps on me and starts kissing me all over my face. I pull away with an amused smile on my face and ask him why he is so happy. He tells me that he has just been asked to tour with Queen. I scream at him how happy I am for him. Then a thought hits me and I turn my face away so he can’t see how unhappy I am. Adam could tell that something was wrong as I got very quiet and he knows me by now. He turns my head back around to him gently and asks why I’m sad. I just have to tell him I can’t lie to him, I mumble that “I’m going to miss you so much we have only been together for 7 months and now you have to go away and I won’t see you for months.  He pulls me into his chest and runs his hand through my hair which he knows relaxes me. I just melt into his arms under his touch, He looks me dead in the eyes and says “I love you so much too, I’m going to miss your touch every day and I’m especially going to miss that glorious arse of yours. I won’t be able to squeeze it and just hold it. You know that I like holding your arse every time you ride me. I love when you ride me” I must admit we have been doing it that way for about 2 weeks. One night Adam asked me to ride him and I just loved how much deeper Adam was in me. I love it. I can’t get enough of that position. Adam sits up and pulls me into his lap so we can have a talk about the tour. He then tells me that he will be away for 6 months and that he needs to leave in 2 weeks. I can’t take it anymore and just break down in tears knowing he will be away for our anniversary. How can you spend your 12 month anniversary apart from your partner?  It tears me apart just seeing Adams face and knowing we won’t be together. I can’t do this anymore.  I dry my eyes and put a brave face on for Adam. He has been dreaming about this for a while ever since he tried out before my father past away. I look at Adam and tell him not to worry about me as I will be fine. Lonely but fine. I can’t hold him back it wouldn’t be fair on him and he would just resent me in the end and break up with me.


Over the next couple of weeks before Adam leaves he just stays with me, he won’t leave my side he just wants to be with me. I understand as I’m the same. I don’t want to leave him.

The last night together we just watch movies and curl up until I just can’t stand it I need to break, I tell Adam I’m going to have a shower but instead I go up and pull out my trusty blade again. It’s been about 8 months since I last cut I need to feel the burn of the blade against my skin. I turn the shower on so Adam doesn’t get suspicious and just keep cutting until I start to feel better but then I still don’t stop I keep going until I hear the bathroom door open in my half delirium, I think I’m dreaming until I feel Adams arms around me picking me up and getting in the shower with me.  I start to sob uncontrollably in his arm begging him to forgive me as I can’t live without him. After a while I calm down enough so we can get out of the shower. Adam dries me   after he has taken my wet clothes off me and laid me in our bed until he gets out of his own wet clothes. I drift off to sleep exhausted from what happened.

I wake up with Adam peppering light kisses to my back and face. I turn around and lock my arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss which starts to turn heated pretty quick. I pull on the hairs at the nape of Adams neck and he moans into my mouth which sends me hard straight away.


We pull apart all sweaty and sated after we come down from our highs. I get off him and just curl up into his side. We whisper I love you’s to each other all night.

The next morning we leave for the airport and I break down again before he could pull away from me. He calms me down by whispering that I am the only one for him. He won’t ever leave me for another man. I whisper that he is the only one for me as well. I kiss him and say I love you too him before he can board the plane. I walk away from him only to feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out to notice a message from Adam saying I love you so much I will call and skype you every day, goodbye gorgeous see you soon.


The next morning I’m awoken by the front door being opened and closed again. I jump out of bed thinking some has broken in, after running down the stairs I hear a noise in the kitchen. I go into the kitchen to see my sister with her back to me. I ask her what she is doing here and she tells me that she promised Adam that she would take care of me. After the mere mention of his name I break down again. Its only day 1 how can I survive around 180 days without my love by my side. My sister pulls me into her embrace and just lets me cry it out. After she leaves every day I head into the bathroom to start cutting. It’s the only thing that helps ease my pain.

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