Saviour for the Broken

Tommy Joe Ratliff falls into a deep dark depression and starts cutting because he falls in love with his boss Adam Lambert. But Adam doesn't return the feelings until he stumbles into the bathroom to an unconscious Tommy. After that Tommy has to battle not only his demons but also the hatred on social media

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3. Tommy's POV

 

The week since my father’s death was a very sad one for my family and I. Today is his funeral and we are all going to say goodbye. I am currently awaiting Adams arrival at my house to take me to the cemetery, to say goodbye for the final time. After a short service that was attended by most of my father’s work colleagues and all of his friends as well as my band mates we make our way to the grave site and watch with baited breath as he is lowered into the ground. That’s when my legs give out for a second time within a week and once again Adam is there to catch me. He holds me against his chest in his strong arms and whispers that I will be ok over and over again in my ear to calm me down. His words are like magic and eventually I calm down.

After we leave the cemetery Adam takes me back to his house where he insists that I will spend my time grieving for my father that I lost a week ago. He will not leave me alone for too long by myself. After about 3 days Adam and I have gotten closer together as he won’t even let me sleep alone as he is afraid I will get nightmares during the night and he won’t hear me when I need him the most. 4 days after the funeral Adam has to go out to get supplies and go and tie up loose ends at the studio. Before he leaves the house it all gets too much and I tell Adam how I feel. I rush out that “I love you Adam as more than a friend.” Under my breath, he unfortunately hears me as he raises his perfect eyebrows a tad but doesn’t say anything.

As he leaves I realise what I have said and I just can’t take it. I walk up to the bathroom to my toiletries bag that Adam has bought over with some off my clothes. I dig through the bag for my friend the blade that I haven’t seen or used in about 6 months. Ever since I started working for Adam I haven’t had the urge to use it. Adam had me in a good spot in my life and I never had the urge to use it, up until now. I take a deep breath and cut into my wrist and arm about 6 times as I feel ashamed for admitting to him how I feel the way I do. Tears run down my cheeks as my blood splatters onto the bathroom floor underneath me. Once the urge has gone I pull myself up off the floor to clean up my wrist and the bathroom floor from all the mess I have made.

I hear the front door open just as I have put the last bandage on my wrist; I throw on a long sleeve shirt just as Adam calls my name to tell me he is home. I run down the stairs afraid of what he would say to me after the last thing I said to him. Adam looks at me when I enter the kitchen he asks if I’m ok as he notices my tear streaked face and red puffy eyes. I just nod my head afraid my voice will crack if I open my mouth.

 

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