Connotation

After waking up from a long period of time. The protagonist must figure out what has happened to his world and possibly how to understand and fix the issue.

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5. Gravity

I found myself on a beach with the sand stuck to my face. I stood up slowly to get my bearings. I hadn’t realized that the world was colored. My skin was so pale I couldn’t tell what color I was meant to be.

The woman lay next to me, dazed and confused.

I stood up and moved her away from the bright blue water. I glanced around me noticing the vanilla colored sand and dark brown boardwalk.

I felt the sun beaming down upon my skin as if giving me some sort of energy.

“Did it work?” Darkness asked. “Do you feel accomplished with yourself?”

My mind drained as I fell limp to the ground. I felt the absence of heat consume me into an aura so cold it managed to freeze my blood.

The woman finally came to. She looked at me, worried.

I thought deep about what I wanted. I knew what I wanted. I was going to keep what I wanted.

I have failed myself in the literal worst way possible. I was the thing I tried to escape and Zero was trying to help me. No matter what I would never be able to escape my sins. I can’t believe I actually caused something I tried to stop.

I shook my head and dispersed the imagery around me. Suddenly half of the world was glistening with color while the other half was burning within the darkness of undertone. I happened to be stuck in the middle.

The world shifted around and warped the two worlds together. Some parts weren’t colored and some parts were. My eyes averted down to myself as I finally learned something about myself.

I’ll never become something good. I’ll only produce bad. I thought.

I stepped off of the beach and onto the boardwalk. Most of it was still destroyed, but I didn’t intend on doing much on it. I sat on the edge and stared out into the distance. The colorful yet black abyss of an ocean entered my mind as if it were always an imagination to me.

Nothing like it felt normal. It was a combination of a child’s belief and imagination.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I felt a sense of closure to my mind. The darkness inside of my head burst through my eyes and watered them like never before. Tears would then flow from my eyes as I bawled silently.

I felt nothing but the everlasting feeling of sadness. It’s always been with me but now it’s continuously pressing my emotions. I could barely look around me. I only wanted to look down upon myself.

The warmness of the hand on my shoulder dispersed into the air and my soul was left in a state of uneasiness.

It was never mean to be this way. I thought.

“It was never meant to be understood.” Darkness said. “What you do not understand is that you will never feel happiness. You were never meant to feel happiness. You were never meant to be anything. You were supposed to die along with that cursed city.”

Made sense to me. I am too weak for this life. Too weak to even smile on my own.

The gravity of my own existence began to hurt more and more. I couldn’t explain it. I couldn’t comprehend it. My head filled with memories of my past and yet none of them were happy. None of them were of me laughing and smiling.

“You see? All of this time I was trying to tell you.” Darkness told me.

I stood up and walked away from the edge of the boardwalk. The woman followed me. I didn’t know why she wanted to. She never told me, and I doubt she will.

I could feel chains wrap around my wrists and hold me back from moving. The one holding the chains were the woman. She hadn’t even realized that she was holding the chains until I couldn’t move anymore.

Her gift of speech was stripped from her. Her voice would no longer make the noises necessary for human interaction like mine.

I saw her facial expressions change. Despite not knowing what she was saying, I knew what she was saying. The bond within this cruel world was the only thing we could hold on to.

I fell to the ground. My vision went dark. I could hear distant sirens. I could feel a fire nearby.

When I opened my eyes again I was strapped inside of a car flipped upside down. Next to me was a corpse. It wasn’t the woman’s body.

What happened? I thought.

I crawled from the car to the outside. The sirens grew closer as I saw cars rush to my aid.

An ambulance? Police officers? What is happening? I thought.

When I stood up all of the sirens and police officers disappeared in a blink. I was left alone again. Nobody was around me but a pool of blood. I could smell the iron emanating from the pool.

I shuddered and stepped from the pool of blood onto the sidewalk.

“You have found it.” The Whale crash landed in front of me, and destroyed the small city.

Found what? I thought.

The Whale let out a pulse wave that shocked the world. I was thrown into the sky once again. I happened among the stars and glanced down at the decoloring world.

“This is your final test.” The Whale turned to me. “This is how you can cleanse your past.”

“NO HE CANNOT!” Darkness screamed.

“Go now.” The Whale dropped me from the sky and back where my home was. I went inside of my room where a book bag was. It was filled with something I couldn’t seem to make out. I unzipped the bag and saw the color spectrum within my grasp.

I quickly closed the bag and put it on my shoulders. I left my house like I did once before and saw a bright light. I was drawn to it. I followed it into a full sprint. I climbed atop of cars and onto roofs. I jumped rooftops and left behind little glimmers of hope.

I realized that I was the person who traversed the rooftops without fear back then. Everything is too connected. Everything needs to end.

I stopped running. I looked down at my feet.

There. I thought.

 

I went back to where it all began. I went back to the brick wall where I saw the forest and the girl.

This is where it all began. I thought.

I pressed my hand against the cold, wet brick. I felt a sense of equilibrium. I fought back against the inner demons I felt. If I were going to destroy everything in the first place, why should I even try to save it?

I opened the book bag and felt the glimmer of hope shine in my face. I reached in and felt the colors attach to my skin. I quickly threw the bag at the brick wall. The bag splattered into the fresh mural I created way back when.

I could see the other side. I could see the girl again, now grown up. I could smell the flowers and the grass and the trees. I could feel the life within that world. I was seeing it all.

The girl looked at me and then behind me. She contracted her arms back and pushed them forward in my direction. A beam of energy entered my world and touched the skies above me. The force of the impact to the clouds dispersed the energy and let a storm come onto my small city.

Each droplet, this time, splattered color upon the world. I began to see my skin color for the first time in a long time. My skin was a tan color. My sweater was black, my pants were khaki and my sneakers were black too.

No. I thought. This was not how it was supposed to go.

“It never is.” The Darkness laughed maniacally.

The girl grabbed me and pulled me towards her. My world wasn’t allowing me to pass. My skin felt like it was being pulled right off of my body.

She hastily stopped trying to pull me through once she saw the pain grow on my face.

I fell on my back. I could see her face of worry. The rain might have colored the world, but not me. Every drop would hit me but not stay long enough to color me whole.

“These are not wrong.” Darkness said. “You can’t continue.”

I know. I thought.

I felt myself give in. I could almost taste the life pouring from my lips. It was cold and bitter.

I felt the wind shift in direction. I glanced at the sky and saw the whale. He was falling from the sky. Blood poured out of his body.

“Go now. . .It’s your time. . .” The Whale spoke one last time before crashing down on the city.

 

I couldn’t feel my body. I only saw a void of nothingness again. I could hear my breaths.

A light above a door shone. The light flickered on and off. The door was a stained brown that seemed weathered. I looked on in confusion and more so, doubt.

I headed over to the door and reached for the handle. It turned before I could even open it. Someone from the other side pulled the door open. To my disappointment, nothing was there.

“Expecting something?” Darkness asked. “See, your problem is that you expect things to change. Your expectations cause you to go insane.”

No. . . I thought.

“He couldn’t help you. She couldn’t help you. None of them could help you.” Darkness added. “Your arrogance and determination will forever entrance you into this constant cycle of reliving your trauma.”

You’re wrong. I can escape this. I felt tears run down my eyes.

“Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting something to change.” Darkness chuckled. “Hasn’t anyone told you the definition of insanity?”

I am not insane. . .

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