That feeling, that time

Just a sort of ranting, about something i went through and need to get out there. Tell me if you relate.

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2. Rock Bottom

If living a miserable lie doesn't sound like rock bottom to you, well then keep reading. See, one of my friends had a secret. I didn't think it was that big a deal, but i promised not to tell. But you probably see where this is headed. As per usual, i met up with one of my friends - Jakob - for a smoke. So we were just casually talking, but i of course, was developing some sort of crush on him, and i tried my best to stay interesting and somehow i ended up telling him one of my best friends secret. So that was a BIG mistake. But he promised me not to tell anyone. Dumb as i were, i trusted him. After all, we were really good friends. 

 

A couple of weeks later, when i hadn't thought about my mistake for quite a while, I get a call. My friends asked me if we could meet up, apparently they needed to talk to me. Yeah right. They were going to attack me. And to think, that i thought they wanted to talk to me, about the fact that i was utterly miserable. Jakob told them. And boy were they mad. All of them. Which would've been fine, for a few days. Spoiler alert, it's been 2 months, and I'm still not invited back in their ''group''. And worst of all, out of those 5, were my best friend. We'd been best friends almost from we met. But she discarded me after ONE mistake. What's that about? Please, enlighten me. 

I'm sorry for this rant, it's terribly written, but perhaps you relate to depression mixed with loneliness, oh and did i mention anxiety? Panic attacks and everything. 

Thing is, we're kind of talking now, and it's a good thing. Except i have to hear about all the fun things they didn't invite me to. I have to listen to my best friend telling me she's doing something we planned years ago, with someone else. And I have absolutely no idea what to do. Help me! Please! 

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