The Deepest Place In My Thoughts.

This "story" is just a place where i can leave my thougths.
Every little detail of it.
i'm not really sure, if anyone will ever read this, but if someone do, and they can relate at any point.
Write a comment or something, it's not always a good thing to be alone.


7. Blue eyed girl.

Once apon a time,
there was a little girl, with big blue eyes and a dream of a perfect world.
She had her entire life infront of her, and she woke up every morning with a smile on her face, and a feeling that life was wonderful.
As days turned into years, she slowly lost track of herself, and that hopeful feeling she used to have.
She was always the happy girl.
The funny girl.
The one who had a lot of friends, and was always surrounded with people.
She lost herself, and with her left the happiness, the jokes, the friends and the desire to be around.
That once happy girl, with the big blue eyes, is now an empty shell.
Empty for the lust of living.
She looked around herself years later, and wondered what happened to the 10 year old girl, who loved everything, and everyone around her.
She used to be filled with love.
Now she is empty, and lost.
She wishes that she could go back.
Back to the life where everything was good.
It's horrible, how the girl who once believed in fairtales and magis.
Is now stuck with demons and darkness in her mind.
The blue eyed girl lost the feeling of love.
She  once had it.

It was a magical time, and so was he.
A dreamer, just like her.
He always knew what to say, and what to do. 
She loved him with all of her soul, but the darkness and demons took over, and she did an unforgivable thing to the love of her life.
She cheated on him. 
Cus when he was away.
She would forget how his touch felt.
Desparte to feel touched, she caved in and cheated.
He forgived her, but the thought of how she once hurt him, wouldn't leave her mind.
She would feel guilty, and unworthy of his such great love for her.
She felt like he desurved someone who could love him, as much as he loved her, and wouldn't hurt him.
Like she did.

The guilt took over her, and she broke up with him in pain, as she sat in her car in the driveway to her home, and told him. 
She was broken.
Angry and alone.
She sat in the car, while she texted him, because she didn't want anyone to know, why she did what she did. She didn't want to break up, but she wanted him to be happy.
Here she is, a year later.
Still as broken, as she was, when she was sitting in the car. Crying her eyes out.
Still feeling as guilty, and still angry at herself.
Because of her actions.
The once happy blue eyed girl, is now depressed and suicidal.
All because she hurt the love of her life.
The man, who now blocks her everytime she tries to make contact with him.
She doesn't blame him.
Cus he found love again. 
This was once, everything that she wanted for him.
But as she is sitting in her studioapartment, and looking at the girlfriend's instagram profile. Looking at her pictures of him. 
How he is smiling.
Like he forgot everything about her.
She realised how badly she wanted to take the break up back, and still be in his arms.
Is it possible to once meet him again? 
in a perfect world, where there is only faritales and magic?

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