After all the bullshit I have been through....


1. Be careful What You Wish For....

Yusuf R,

Its quite obvious now that I wont see you often, but I decided to write this to actually show how much you mean to me. I might not show it, but when I love someone, I actually do but I might cover it up by being a bit too salty, sarcastic and I usually try to change the subject when people talk about my friends. I dont like talking about personal shit, even if it is friends, its not that I cant its just that I feel really uncomfortable because my emotions are mine and not anyone elses. I decided to start writing on movellas so that people can 'hear' my voice, since I talk a lot but I dont like talking about my personal life. Many people know me as a realist, writing on true events and real life situations that either impact me negatively or positively. Only one exception is my first story on here 'FEUD' which I began writing in 2016, most of it is true but there are elements of fiction in there- and I got quite a lot of praise for being one of the few authors out there to mix fact and fiction with ease. You can ask anyone, when I first joined mosque, people were like ' he is so fucking moody' and ' what an emo' and ' is he fucking depressed.' Not too far off of what you thought in your head when you first saw me is it? To be honest, you are actually one of the best people I know out there, you know how to make me laugh even though I was broken. You might not have seen it but all throughout my time in mosque, I was broken, depressed and emotionally fucked up. When I used to stare into space, and I had that ' I forgot my homework' look, I was actually reflecting on my life but I did not admit it. You do know your special dont you? You might be attending a shitty school( thats my opinion) but you are always telling me to be a better person. I've been told by loads of people those exact same words by people in my school: Hamza W, Hafsa G, Abdul Ahmed( forgot who that prick is) and loads more. Thing is they just focus on my flaws but you appreciate who I am and you want me to be better. You want me to be a better muslim, and I just wanna thank you for that. You are such an understanding and supportive friend who only wants the best for me, no other motives. God knew exactly what he was doing when he made us friends, because he knew I needed a positive person with a pure heart of gold to meet me. I cant say I have changed yet- but if I do, at least you know that you had something to do with it. Thanks for understanding the situation I'm in right now because I dont think I could've handled mosque without your company. You'll always have a strong connection with my heart because you accepted who I am but you want to reform me at the same time. All those things you tell me to do better- a friend like you is a rarity. I know this isn't exactly how I wanted to say ' goodbye, I'm leaving mosque' to you but obviously you were ill so I couldn't. Anyway this isn't goodbye, its just goodbye till next time we see each other in the future.

Always there for ya


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