All For Him

Maggy and Brandon are obsessed with each other in the unhealthiest way. They're hooking up behind their friends' backs, Brandon has a gorgeous girlfriend, and Maggy is totally in over her head at parties. But, she'll do anything for Brandon. And, to Maggy, everything is about him. Until their relationship is either open or over.

Cover by Zireee


4. Chapter Three: Stay With Me

November 2017

Brandon’s birthday means two things to me. The first is that I most definitely have to spend the night at Matt’s house dancing around with sweaty people pretending like I’m enjoying myself when I’m really not, because Brandon would obviously have a fit if I decided not to show (although last time I wasn’t at a party in decent time, he kissed me, so that might not be the worst thing in the world). The second thing that it means is that I am going to have to sneak Brandon into my house tonight.

Long ago, Brandon and I realized that Ellen is very likely to come to his house in the middle of the night (especially tonight because it’s his birthday, and she might want to surprise him with birthday sex), even though he hadn’t ever wanted her to come over and see the way that his life was really lived. Everyone in Brandon’s life, with the exception of me, has always been for show, because Brandon wants to pretend that his life is going well. Although, I don’t think that Matt, Jo, or Chris would ever judge Brandon because of his financial status (we’ve all seen the car he drives, and it’s nothing like the rest of our cars), Brandon always finds himself being very insecure about people coming into his house, except me, of course.

July 2016

“The air isn’t working at my house,” I tell Brandon on the phone. It’s actually over ninety-five degrees out, and the air conditioners, for some reason, quit working today. All three of them.

“So?” he questions me. He’s been asking to see me, even though Matt hasn’t had a party in nearly two weeks. Matt’s parents spend more time at home during the summer months so he naturally has less parties while we’re on summer break.

I roll my eyes, even though I’m fully aware of the fact that he can’t see me. “So,” I begin to explain, “I don’t want to have sex, where we’ll be even sweatier in my hundred-degree house with my parents and brother home.”

He sighs. “Let me come get you, then.”

“Okay,” I say. I had been in Brandon’s house before, but never when I wasn’t drunk (because let’s be honest, I can’t be at a party watching Brandon and Ellen all evening without trying to drown my sorrows in alcohol). I’m acutely aware of the fact that Brandon’s home life is shit. Though he had opened up slightly to me about his mother leaving when he was very young (he doesn’t remember her), he hadn’t ever mentioned his father to me. I’d only noticed that his dad was never home when Brandon brought me over, and I supposed there was a reason for that.

I walk down the stairs and see that my mom and younger brother, Ben, are still awake watching a movie. “Hey, guys,” I say as I begin to put my shoes on by the door.

“Are you going out, Margaret?” I roll my eyes. I’ve asked her probably thousands of times to call me Maggy. She always argues that she named me Margaret, not Maggy, and she’ll call me whatever she likes, even if everyone else calls me ‘Maggy May’.

“Yeah, Shay is having a bad night and asked me to go for a late-night ice cream run with her.” She nods, and lets me leave without question. I rarely complain about my parents, because they’ve always been liberal with me spending time away from home. If they ever found out that I was lying to them, I don't think they'd know how to handle it. 

I stand outside and wait for Brandon’s beater car to come and get me. I would have offered to drive myself, but he always declines that. I’m not sure why, but I’ve learned to just let him pick me up. Because we live in a relatively small town, it’s not long before he’s pulling into my driveway. I climb into his car, and he pulls out very quickly. Neither of us want to risk my mom seeing that I’m not leaving with Shay. Brandon knows me well, so he knows that that would be the excuse I came up with for my family.

“Good evening, Maggy May.”

The night doesn’t go well. To start, Brandon’s dad is drunkenly sitting on the couch when Brandon pulls me inside, quite literally dragging me up the stairs to his bedroom while his dad yells profanities at him. “Is that your dad?”

He nods, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he immediately starts to undress me, pulling at the hem of my shirt until I lift my arms up for him to pull it over my head. His lips meet mine, hungry and desperate, and I realize that he needed to see me so badly because he’s spending so much more time at home with his dad. I know that we should talk about it, but right now Brandon needs for me to not talk, so I won’t. I’ll be whatever Brandon needs for me to be.

Fortunately, Brandon had enough sense to lock his door, and because I saw his dad here, I had been being quiet in bed, because Ellen is currently knocking on his door, saying, “Brandon Collins, open this door!”

Both of our eyes widen, and we’re unsure what to do for a minute. “Brandon, are you awake?” I quickly slide off of the bed, and crawl under it, with Brandon shoving my clothes under there as well. I hear as he walks across the room and opens the door.

“What are you doing here, Ellen?”

“I haven’t heard from you all day. I was nervous that something bad happened to you.” I hear the pout in her voice and roll my eyes, annoyed by the show that she’s always putting on, apparently even when it’s only Brandon with her.

I watch as her feet come into the bedroom, right in between his, and I assume that they’re hugging. “I’m sorry, baby,” Brandon says. It takes all I have not to gag. “I’ve had a bad day and I haven’t really felt like talking to anyone.”

“Why are you having a bad day? Do you want to talk about it?”

He sighs. “I just said I don’t want to talk to anyone.” His voice is high and I realize that he’s annoyed with her. Ellen keeps trying to move further into his room, but he is trying to keep her out. “You know that I don’t like you being here.” She gasps. “There’s stuff going on that you just don’t get, Ellen, and I don’t want him to hurt you.”

I cover my mouth with my hand, to ensure that no noise comes out. Until this point, I had thought that Brandon had always simply put up with Ellen. I know that he doesn’t love her (he’s told me so many times) but he does care about her, enough to want to keep her away from his house, and not just because he doesn’t want her to see his house.

“Let me stay here with you,” she begs him, her voice quiet, and sad.

I hear him give her a kiss, and say, “Goodbye, Ellen.”

When I no longer see her feet, and when Brandon leans down to pull my naked body out from under his bed. “Holy shit,” I whisper, just in case Ellen hasn’t left his house yet.

He looks out the window. “Her car is gone.”

I start to laugh, “My heart was racing!”

“It’s fun to play the mistress, isn’t it?” he asks me, wiggling his eyebrows. “I guess we’ll just have to have more of these at your house when she’s likely to show up.”

“Maybe message your girlfriend back once in a while. I know you’re a fantastic actor, so I think you can pretend that things are okay for like two minutes.”

He kisses me in response.

November 2017

 “Enjoying yourself yet?” I jump slightly, and turn around to see Chris.

“Oh, hey,” I smile at him. “Sorry about that.”

He chuckles at me, and pushes his black hair back. He doesn’t ever use hair products, but he has so much thick hair that he definitely should. His hair is always sticking up all over the place. “You looked very deep in thought. You were just staring at the counter.”

I blush, but also feel thankful that I hadn’t been staring at Brandon and Ellen. I feel like I get lost inside my own thoughts very often, and sometimes I think that Ellen catches me staring at Brandon. Even though she hasn’t ever said anything to me about it (and I don’t think that she ever will – she’s very insecure about her relationship with Brandon) but the way that she always interferes when Brandon and I are talking to one another, I have a feeling she knows about me. She doesn’t know that Brandon and I have been having sex for nearly half of their relationship, but I do think that she knows that I have a serious thing for her boyfriend.

“Guess I’m just not feeling the party vibe tonight.”

Chris laughs, “Yeah, you and Brandon don’t seem all that close. It’s probably weird to be here celebrating his birthday.” I snort. “I just mean that Matt literally always kisses your face, and you’re obviously close with Shay and me,” I nod at him, letting him know to keep talking. “I guess I’ve just hardly ever seen Brandon and you talking.”

“Hmmm,” I hum, watching the drunk people around me.

Chris decides to keep talking about Brandon, however, even though I’ve tried to make it seem like I was completely uninterested in talking about him. “That’s why I was really confused when he came into the bathroom saying your name.” My head snaps towards him. Had he been thinking about that often? What ideas had he come up with?

“Yeah, I’m not too sure what was going on with that either,” I note, sipping from my wine cooler, and awkwardly avoiding eye contact with him.

“Uh huh,” he says, unconvinced.

I decide to find Shay and make some excuse to leave before Brandon can come find me and raise Chris’ suspicion of the two of us even further. “Hey,” I say, tapping her on the shoulder. She’s making out with Leon in a corner.

“I’m a little busy,” she says, annoyed but pulls away from him anyways. “What’s up?”

“Can you tell Brandon that I had to go home?” She rolls her eyes. “I’m serious, he’s going to try to come find me but Chris is acting suspicious of the two of us.”

“Fine, I’ll do it, but you know that I’m not happy doing it.”

I thank her profusely and exit the house, careful not to be seen by Brandon. I see Matt and Jo on my way out, and Matt kisses me on the cheek, begging me to stay. Jo apologizes with her eyes, and pulls him away from me, taking his drink out of his hand. “Have a good night, Jo,” I say, wishing her the best of luck with Matt.

Luckily, I hadn’t been at Brandon’s birthday party for very long, and hadn’t had very much to drink. Generally, Leon picks Shay up, and she drives my car back to her house, and I’ll go home with Brandon (sometimes we have to drop Shay off at her house after she’s driven me to my house, but only if Ellen insists on Brandon driving her home), but tonight I only drank half of a wine cooler and can drive home myself.


It’s nearly two thirty a.m. when Brandon finally calls, even though it felt much, much longer. I look at myself in the mirror on my wall while I answer, running my finger through my hair to untangle it. “Hello?”

“I’m outside.”

I smile as I walk toward the window, and see that he’s standing in the driveway. “I left the door unlocked. Come on in.” I hang up the phone and prepare myself to see him in all of his beauty.

He quietly enters my bedroom, and I greet him with a smile. “You left my party,” he says. I can’t tell if he is upset or not. “Why?”

“Chris was asking me about you and I, and why you came into the bathroom last month looking for me.” He raises an eyebrow, asking me ‘So what?’. “So, he’s been keeping an annoyingly close eye on us since then and I didn’t need him seeing you come to find me. He would have thought that something was up.”

“You don’t think that he thought something was up when you ditched my party after he started questioning us as a thing?” Brandon seethes.

I roll my eyes. “I told him before that that I hadn’t been feeling well. And that’s what I told Shay. No one was concerned that I left.”

“I wondered where you were for hours. Jo is the one who told me that you left.”

“Shay was supposed to tell you.”

Now he rolls his eyes at me. “You should have just stayed.”

I sit on the edge of my bed. Brandon remains standing near the door, and I notice that he’s not yet locked it. I wonder, briefly, if he has any intentions on staying, or if he just came here to berate me for leaving his party early, even if it was for his own benefit. “Maybe this is getting too risky to keep up,” I say, forcing tears back.

“Don’t say that. You don’t mean it.” Brandon locks the door, and crosses the room to sit next to me on my bed. “You know that you’re what keeps me going, Maggy May.”

For a moment, I want to ask him why he won’t leave Ellen to be with me, then. But, it is now officially his birthday, and I don’t want to ruin his birthday. I’ve never asked him that before, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be so desperate that I think it’s a good idea (I’d never want to do anything that could cause me to lose him). I’ve had that though many, many times, but I always lay out the reasons why in my head over and over again. I know that if he leaves for school, he’ll leave her. I don’t know what that means for him and myself, but I know that I’m the only person who has ever met the real Brandon Collins, so I think it means something positive for us moving forward. I finally say, “I know that.”

He begins to kiss my jaw (which he knows is my undeniable weakness, even if I’m upset with him), and rubs my stomach. At first, I’m still upset that he had been upset with me that I don’t respond, but then he begins to move his hand further up my shirt. “Brandon,” I moan lowly, careful to keep my voice quiet due to the fact that my little brother’s bedroom is very close to mine, and my parents’ bedroom is just below mine.

“Is this okay?” he asks, even though he knows that it’s more than okay, and that I’d never ever ask him to stop. I nod, still, just to let him know, and he continues to kiss me, while unbuttoning my pants.

“Mmmm,” I hum, contently.

He pulls my shirt hurriedly above my head, and I can see the lust growing in his eyes. “You drive me wild, Maggy May.”

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