All For Him

Maggy and Brandon are obsessed with each other in the unhealthiest way. They're hooking up behind their friends' backs, Brandon has a gorgeous girlfriend, and Maggy is totally in over her head at parties. But, she'll do anything for Brandon. And, to Maggy, everything is about him. Until their relationship is either open or over.

Cover by Zireee

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7. Chapter Six: The Secret Is Out

April 2018

Ellen’s birthday mostly means that I will get extremely drunk tonight. While I do spend some time talking to Ellen (we all sit together at lunch), we aren’t considered close in any way. Ellen actively avoids talking to Shay and me (mostly me, since Shay is very obviously into Leon, even if after two years they aren’t an official couple), and I don’t put myself out there to talk to anyone. Basically, all of my friends are my friends because they stuck around long enough for me to like. Except Ellen. While I don’t dislike Ellen, she’s not my favorite person because of A) her attitude and B) the fact that she’s Brandon Collins girlfriend.

Anyone who isn’t myself or Brandon, would think that I’ve never had a full conversation with either one of them, unless I'm fighting with Brandon because they all saw that in the last few months. Ellen had been the least open to Shay and I joining their crew. Jo had seemed indifferent (in fact, I hardly remember her saying anything in the first few weeks that we had sat at their table), but after her and I had talked about our concerns for Matt, she seems to actually enjoy time spent with us, and has told me on a few occasions that she’s trying to get Ellen to be more of friends with Shay and I. I’m fine with the cold shoulder from Ellen. It makes sleeping with her boyfriend seem a lot less wrong to me, because it would be a lot harder to regularly sleep with someone’s boyfriend if they were incredibly sweet to me. I mean, not that it even matters. I've been avoiding sleeping with him since he tried again in February.

January 2016

“Hello, Maggy May,” I hear as I take my seat in World History.

I turn around and smile at him. I’d noticed him in his seat when I entered, but felt unsure if I should say anything to him or not. My anxiety sometimes gets the best of me. “Hey, Brandon. How was your break?”

“It was nice. I wish that you had been at Matt’s New Year’s Party. I spent the whole night searching for you.” I stare at his face, which looks as though it had been sculpted by God himself, and he winks at me, a small smirk appearing on his lips.

I feel my cheeks begin to warm up, wondering if he’s currently flirting with me. I’d never really dated anyone (unless you can count my three-week relationship with Matt Johnson in the fourth grade – I tend to not count it), and am extremely awkward in social situations (see also, the party I met Brandon at and the fact that I have no friends except for Shay), so I’ve never been any good at realizing if I’m being flirted with. I’m also hopeless at flirting with anyone, which is hardly a surprise to anyone. “I guess I hadn’t been invited.”

“Shay was there,” he counters, an eyebrow raised. It only takes me a few seconds to realize that I hadn’t told him that it was Shay who dragged me to the party where we met. I had only told him it was my best friend, and I feel my cheeks get redder (if it was even possible for that) at the fact that he had done some research on me to figure out that Shay is my best friend (although I doubt it was hard at all). I also had been invited, through Shay, to come to the party. However, I had been busy (New Year’s Eve with my family is very fun, and I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it for the world) and I wanted to keep Brandon Collins on his toes at all times. I’d figured that he’d be expecting me to be at the party since he basically told me to come to it, and for that reason I’d made sure not to be there. Our teacher begins class and I turn around in my seat, unable to stop smiling about the attention that I’m receiving from Brandon Collins, super hottie, soccer star Brandon Collins.

When I meet Shay at her locker after class, she has a huge smile painted on her face, and I bet that I do also, because when I feel my face with my hand, it is still very, very warm. “Leon invited us to sit at lunch with him and his friends.”

“Ooh,” I sing and she covers her face, a habit she has when she’s embarrassed. “So, I take it things went well after that party? Especially because Brandon Collins told me that you were at Matt’s New Year’s Party a few nights ago.”

Shay’s face lights up, as she grins. She’s so happy right now that she’s not even noticed that I’m talking about the super cute Brandon Collins that I had been flirting with at the last party – she had been too engrossed in Leon to really listen to me gush about that either. “Things are going pretty well for the two of us, I think. We’ve been texting a lot.” Leon had moved to our school just at the beginning of the school year, and Shay has had a crush on him since she first saw him. He’s a quiet guy, which isn’t usually Shay’s type, but he’s quite athletic, just like her. And apparently, they have more than just that in common, because they’re getting on really, really well for only having been talking for a few weeks. “But you’re cool if we sit with them at lunch?”

I shrug, not really caring. Shay and I normally sit with some girls who we’re kind of friends with, but not very close to, so it’s not a big deal for us to switch lunch tables. None of them will even wonder where we had moved to sit. We walk to the cafeteria, wait in line for some mediocre sandwiches (seriously, the cafeteria serves about two items that are any decent), and find the table that Leon is sitting at. Thankfully he’s sat there already, and had given Shay the general area of the cafeteria that he sits in, so Shay and I don’t wander around for too long. I smile when I also see Matt Johnson and Christopher Long sitting at the table as well. I have multiple classes with both of them, since we’re all in as many AP classes as possible. The three of us are fighting for valedictorian currently. “Maggy,” Chris says, looking surprised, but also slightly pleased.

“Matt, Chris,” I acknowledge, and smile at them. Turning toward Leon, I introduce myself. “I’m Maggy May, and you must be Leon. Shay’s told me a bit about you.”

He smiles and shakes my hand. “I hope you guys don’t mind that I invited them to lunch with us,” Leon says to Matt and Chris, who both shake their heads, saying that, no, they don’t care. I take a seat in between Chris and Shay and begin to talk to Chris about our latest math assignment (we agree to meet up after school on Wednesday to help each other out. Matt says he wants to as well, and I give them my address so they can come over to do work) when a pretty blonde girl sits down with the girl I know to be Matt’s girlfriend.

“Oh, who are these people?” the blonde asks, her voice high. She definitely sounds like she doesn’t want us to be sitting at the table, and like she’s actually very uninterested in who we are.

“I’m Shay, and this is Maggy May,” Shay says, smiling. I wave to the girl when she looks at me. “Leon invited us to sit here.”

She looks at Leon and says, “I didn’t know that we just invited whoever we wanted to the table.”

“Cool it, Ellen,” Chris says to her, and she looks taken aback. Matt’s girlfriend, whose name is Jo, snorts at Chris saying that. “Matt and I are cool with them sitting here, too.”

I’m sending Chris a thankful smile when I hear someone overdramatically say “Mwah,” before Ellen squeals. I look up to see curly brown hair beside her face, clearly kissing her cheek. “Brandon, get off of me!” she squeals. She seems much less tense now, but I’m looking at him, of course my head snapped up when I heard Ellen say his name. And, of course, it’s the him that has been plastered in my mind for nearly two weeks now. He looks up, and his eyes meet mine, then flick over to Shay and Leon, who are engrossed in a hushed conversation.

“Oh, hello,” he says, looking slightly uncomfortable for only a moment before springing into his fake persona, one that I would find is very easy for him to muster. “You’re Maggy May, right? We’re in World History together, I think.” No one else notices that he doesn’t speak to Shay. I notice, though.

“Are we?” I ask him, only slightly caught off guard by him pretending to not know me. I don’t know much about him, but for whatever reason, this doesn’t surprise me. Not after seeing him kiss Ellen on the cheek. “I hadn’t noticed.”

He nods, “I think that we are. It’s nice to officially meet you. I’m Brandon.”

Chris leans in to whisper in my ear, “He’s Ellen’s boyfriend.”

“Oh,” I say, trying to mask the shock that I feel on the inside. But my eyes never leave Brandon’s face, even after he’s stopped looking at me.

April 2018

“Jesus, Maggy, I think you’re really drunk.” I look up to see Matt. I’m surprised because Matt is normally way more drunk than me at these events. After all, Matt has a drinking problem. Maybe I do, too.

“Whaddya mean?” I slur, hiccupping slightly.

I feel my cup pulled out of my hand. When did I get a cup? I had been drinking from a bottle last I remember. “Oh, yeah. You’ve had too much to drink.” It’s Jo, and I see disappointment written on her face. How could I accuse her boyfriend of being an alcoholic when I continually get shitfaced to avoid my own problems? “Where is Chris?” she asks, but I’m not sure if she’s talking to me or Matt.

“I dunno,” I say, taking a seat at the island in Matt’s kitchen. “I don’t feel very good,” I complain.

Jo rolls her eyes at me, and I scoff at her, offended. “Matt,” she says, trying to get his attention. I notice that he’s drinking out of the cup that Jo had just taken from me. “Matt,” she says, again, her voice loud and angry. Or maybe it’s not so loud, but it’s hurting my head.

“Hmm?”

“I need you to stay here with Maggy May until I find Chris. I need for you two to stay right here, okay?”

Matt nods, and I nod, too, even though I know that she isn’t talking to me at the moment. “Are you more drunk than me?” Matt asks me, laughing, after Jo has walked away from us. “I’m always the most drunk at these things.”

I shrug, and kind of mumble, “Brandon.”

“What about him?” Matt asks, clearly confused.

“That’s why I’m drunk. It’s all his fault.” Matt sits in stunned silence; clearly, he’s unsure what Brandon had done to make me feel the need to get wildly drunk. “D’ya wanna go dance?” I ask him.

He nods, as if he’s completely forgot about the fact that I’d just said I’m drunk and it’s Brandon’s fault, and he actually might have forgotten that. “Yeah, Jo hates dancing with me, but you’ll dance with me, right?” I say yes, uncharacteristically enthusiastically, and we move into his living room, where sweaty bodies mingle to the loud sounds of music. I can feel thumps in my throat from the sheer volume of whatever song this is. The thumps make me feel sick, but I try to ignore it as Matt and I dance wildly together.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I hear from beside us. “You two look like you’re having too much fun.” I see Brandon, right beside Ellen, and wonder why he even bothered to come over to us with her beside him. I hate him. Of course, he can't help himself from being completely jealous if I'm even near a boy that isn't him. I hate him.

Matt laughs, “Where did Jo go off to?” I shrug, not really remembering. I vaguely recall her talking about Chris, but I don’t know what she wanted to see him for.

“I’m right here,” she says, angrily, after magically appearing directly behind him. “You were supposed to keep Maggy May in the kitchen until I found Chris.”

“Why were you looking for Chris?” Brandon asks her.

I watch as her eyes flick to me before looking back at him. “Maggy May is very, very drunk.”

“She told me it’s Brandon’s fault,” Matt says, laughing loudly, just as I say, “I don’t feel good.”

Somebody grabs my elbows to help hold me up. “Okay, let’s get you to the bathroom.”

“Thank God, Chris. You’re a lifesaver.” It’s Jo that says this, and I scoff at her, even though she’s being really nice to me.

Chris begins to take me somewhere, and I complain because I had been having fun dancing with Matthew. However, once we’re in the quiet, cool room that is Matt’s private bathroom, I’m thankful for him taking me there. “It’s so nice and cool in here,” I say, leaning my head against the cold wall.

“Why don’t we move you toward the toilet?” he asks, as he half drags me that way. I groan a little as he does, not really wanting to be dragged around. “Are you going to throw up again?”

“Did I already throw up?” I ask, not remembering if that had happened or not.

He shakes his head, and chuckles a little bit. Chris is really sober, I notice. “I meant like you did at the last party. You’ve been getting really drunk a lot, Maggy. I’m kind of concerned.”

I’m not drunk enough to not laugh at the fact that speaking to a drunk me about my alcoholism is probably not the most sensible thing to do. It’s also sort of laughable that no one will talk to Matt about being an alcoholic but when I drink too much at one or two parties, all concern is on me. “Blame Brandon,” I mumble. “It’s all his fault.”

Chris’ eyebrows raise, nearly immediately, his interest clearly piqued. “What?”

I start to cry, tears softly rolling down my cheeks as I think about him and Ellen downstairs dancing, like he doesn’t care about who I am at all, with his dumb cute hair and his stupid pretty face. “Why doesn’t he love me?” I ask, looking up at Chris. I feel like I know that I look pathetic and that I sound pathetic, which really isn’t how I want to act. And somewhere deep, deep inside me, I know that saying all of this to Chris is wrong, but I can’t stop myself.

“Brandon? He loves Ellen.” He’s clearly confused, because Brandon does not love Ellen.

I shake my head, violently. “No, no, no.” I say. “He’s never loved her.”

Chris comes closer to me, and tries to make me look him in the eyes. “Maggy, did you hook up with Brandon?” I nod, and cry some more. “He cheated on Ellen?” I don’t move this time, and I don’t think he’s really asking me anymore, he’s asking himself. Obviously, soccer star, hottie, and loving boyfriend Brandon Collins would never cheat on his girlfriend. I get why Chris is shocked. But Chris doesn’t know Brandon Collins, no one knows Brandon Collins. “Maggy, I need you to look at me,” he says. I just want to close my eyes and sleep now. “Maggy, please look at me.” So, I do. “When did this happen? Was it at that party when he snuck in here looking for you?”

I laugh a little bit at him. “Yeah, that was like probably the hundredth time.”

He raises his eyebrows again. “You’ve hooked up multiple times?” he asks, incredulously. “How long have you two been together?”

“We’re not together,” I bark. Then, I add more sadly, and almost mockingly, “He’s with Ellen.”

“Maggy,” Chris says seriously. “How long have you and Brandon been hooking up?”

“Two years,” I mumble.

His eyes grow wide. “Did you just say two years?” he yells. I beg him to stop yelling at me. “You’ve been hooking up with our friend, Brandon Collins, for two years?” He then starts to mumble very quickly about how he knew that Brandon had a thing for me, and leaves the bathroom. I throw up in the toilet beside me.

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