All For Him

Maggy and Brandon are obsessed with each other in the unhealthiest way. They're hooking up behind their friends' backs, Brandon has a gorgeous girlfriend, and Maggy is totally in over her head at parties. But, she'll do anything for Brandon. And, to Maggy, everything is about him. Until their relationship is either open or over.

Cover by Zireee

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8. Chapter Seven: Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight

April 2018

“Oh my god, Maggy May, we need to get you out of here right now.” I’m too drunk to be able to properly listen or act on anything. My mind feels foggy and I really, really just want to sleep.

I realize that Shay is in the bathroom with me, Leon closely tailing behind her. “Shay, can you get me a pillow?” I ask her.

“Maggy, no. We have to leave this party now. Chris and Brandon are fighting. And Ellen is looking for you.” Ellen? Why on earth would Ellen Jones be looking for me? “Oh my god, Maggy, why would you tell Chris about Brandon?”

Hearing his name, I feel soberer, plus in the last hour I think I’d thrown up all of the alcohol in my system. I still really want to sleep, but I guess I can’t. I’d made a massive mistake. “I stopped sleeping with him. I don’t want him anymore,” I say quickly. Leon looks between the two of us, clearly not totally caught up on what has been happening.

“Wait, Chris punched Brandon over Maggy May?” He asks.

Shay nods at him, her face disgusted. “Maggy and Brandon have been hooking up for like two years.” Leon looks shocked, much like I vaguely remember Chris’ face looking when I had accidentally told him that Brandon and I had been hooking up. I wish that I had told him that I stopped because I realized that I want to be with him instead.

I start to cry, “Shay, I didn’t even get to tell Chris why I stopped seeing Brandon.” Shay had known already. After Chris’ birthday, I drove over to Shay’s house and told her all about the feelings that I had been feeling for Chris for a while, and how I had finally put them all into place in my mind.

February 2018

“Always, Maggy.”

I leave Christopher’s house feeling elated. Not only was I finally able to turn down sex with Brandon (a true feat for me and my self-love), but I also finally realized that Chris is the right person for me. I feel as though this is an incredibly huge discovery for myself, so I call Shay.

“Hey babe,” she says when she answers. “What’s up?”

“Are you home?”

“Mhm,” she hums.

I smile. “I’ll be there in a few minutes. I have some huge news.” I hang up before she can ask, because I kind of want to see her face when I tell her about my decision to stop seeing Brandon. After all, she’s hated Brandon for a really, really long time.

When I arrive at Shay’s house, she’s sitting on her front porch, already waiting for me. “Parents are asleep. I don’t want to wake them up.” I nod at her, understanding. Last time we showed up late at night and woke her dad up, he grounded Shay for two weeks. “So, what’s your huge news?” She asks me, her eyebrows raised.

“I’ve finally decided that I’m done with Brandon.”

“Like finished, over, never sleeping with him again done?” I nod, feeling kind of nervous. MY breathing begins to hitch. Brandon had been the main source of my sanity for over two years. But had he? After all, it wasn’t ever him that helped me stay cool out in public. Not since the night that I met him. Every party where I was feeling anxious, Chris was right beside me. I just need to keep reminding myself of that. “What sparked this?”

“I like Chris,” I blurt out before I can even think about stopping myself.

Her eyebrows remain raised, like she doesn’t quite believe me. “Christopher Long? The one who’s had a crush on you for like two years?” I nod. “Are you sure?”

“What do you mean am I sure? I’ve been trying to deny my feelings for him for like a year now, Shay. But I can really tell that he cares about me and I care about him, too.”

Shay sighs. I know better than to ask her why she’s sighing, so I stay quiet. “I just don’t want for you to go tell Chris that you’re into him and then for him to be heartbroken if you decide to sleep with Brandon again.”

Now it’s my turn to sigh. “I see where you’re coming from.”

“But I think that I have a good idea,” I raise my eyebrows, and finally take a seat on Shay’s porch swing next to her. I’ve been standing at the bottom of the stairs leading to her porch since I got here. “I think that you should wait until after Ellen’s birthday to tell Chris.” I scrunch my eyebrows together, wondering why I would have to wait until after Ellen’s birthday to talk to Chris about having a crush on him. “Maggy May, I’ve known you for a long time, so I’m going to be honest with you here, okay?” I nod. “Last year, Ellen’s birthday was the lowest point I saw you at with Brandon. So, if you make it through her birthday without wanting to go back and sleep with Brandon, then I’ll trust that you’re okay to make a move with Chris.”

“That gives me two months to get over Brandon properly and sort out my feelings for Chris,” I say, thinking that her plan for me is perfect.

She smiles at me, and wraps her arm around my shoulders. “I think it will be pretty easy for you, Maggy May. After Ellen’s party is over, you can walk right up to Chris and kiss him.”

April 2018

Yeah, right. Shay’s still freaking out. Though I’m generally much more sober now, I’m still sort of in a disbelief. I keep thinking that this is all a dream. My intentions tonight were to ignore Brandon and Ellen, tell Chris that I have a thing for him, and to tell Brandon that we’re officially done. I had assumed that he understood that, by the fact that I had not been sleeping with him in months, but I needed to say it out loud to him. Tonight. But, I’m not sure that can happen anymore.

There’s a knock on Matt’s bathroom door. “Occupied,” Shay calls out.

“Shay, let me in there.” It’s Matt’s voice, which is, realistically, the best person who could be out there at this point. Leon walks over and unlocks the door. Matt’s quickly pushing through it and locking it behind him. I breathe a sigh of relief that Jo and Ellen aren’t with him. “Is it true, Maggy May?” He’s still very drunk, but seemingly aware of what’s happening downstairs.

I nod and begin to cry. “Did they stop fighting?” Shay asks Matt.

He shakes his head, “Well, not voluntarily. We pulled Chris off him and Jeff and Loren are keeping him in my room.” I don’t know who either of those people are. “Maggy, why would you do that?”

I start to speak, but Shay starts to talk before I can. “Now, listen, Brandon is just as, if not more, guilty than she is. He’s the one who has a girlfriend.”

“I really need to leave here,” I say, urgently. I wonder, briefly, where Ellen and Brandon are, so I can get out of here quickly and without them seeing me. Shay nods at me and tells Leon to pick me up.

“Why do I need to carry her?”

Shay explains that the best way to get me out of here is for him to carry me so that I don’t stop and fight with Ellen or anyone else. Leon and Shay will just very quickly walk me out of the house. “Where are Brandon and Ellen?” she asks Matt.

He shrugs, “No telling now. They were still in the living room when we pulled Chris out of there.”

Leon throws me over his shoulder, and I want to tell him to be gentler because I still sort of feel like throwing up, but I keep my mouth shut. That is, until we’re halfway out the door. I grab onto the handle and tell Matt, “I stopped sleeping with him months ago, Matt. Because of Chris.”

He doesn’t say anything to me, just nods his head slowly. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, Matt.” Leon gives me a tough tug, and I let go of the handle, ready to face whatever is about to happen, because I know that it won’t just go smoothly.

“You fucking bitch.” I know instantly that Ellen is speaking to me. Honestly, I don’t know what to do. She’s fully right in calling me any name she can think of. She’d be fully right to do more than that, honestly. “You’re just going to ignore me? You seduce my boyfriend in his time of need and you ignore me?” I look up at her, wondering if, in such a short time, Brandon had already managed to lie and make this my fault. My gaze eventually falls on him, and he looks heartbroken.

“Maggy May,” he says. Ellen, Jo, and everyone surrounding us look at him. He doesn’t say my name angrily, like they’re all expecting. Even Leon stops for a second, though that might just be because people are trying to block us from leaving.

My eyes go back to Ellen. She’s the victim in all of this. I ask Leon to put me down and despite Shay’s protests, he does. I walk back towards the group of three, not even prepared for what I am about to say. When I get close enough, I whisper to Ellen, in a voice so low that only Jo and Brandon will also be able to hear, “He started it all. Not me.”

I hadn’t been expecting forgiveness when I told her this. I didn’t even care about that part. Really, we’ve never been friends, and her opinion of me means nothing in the grand scheme of my life. I also really hadn’t been expecting her to punch me in the face, but she did just that.

I instantly feel the warmth of blood running out of my nose. “Shit,” I say as people around me gasp.

“Come on, fight me back,” she says, mustering all of the anger that she can.

I shake my head as Leon grabs me once again, throwing me over his shoulder, not a care in the world for my potentially broken nose. “Trust me, Ellen, he’s not worth that.”

 

When I wake up the following morning, my entire face hurts. From my head to my nose. Shay sits overtop of me, a cold washcloth in her hand, blotting my face. “So, last night was not a dream, I’m guessing.”

“Why do you say that?”

“My nose really, really hurts.”

Shay laughs a little bit, but grimaces. “It’s broken, I’m pretty sure. We should take you to the emergency room.”

“I’ll drive myself.” She shakes her head, “We sort of have to go back to Matt’s house for that. Your car is there.”

Better now than never, I think to myself, and force myself up to get dressed.

 

I hope that I can get into Matt’s house to get my keys, which are undoubtedly sitting on the island in his kitchen, without seeing anyone. That, unfortunately, is not how things pan out. Brandon is sitting on Matt’s couch when I enter. He’s not doing anything, just looking really, really sad. I hope that he won’t say anything to me, but naturally, my wishes do not come true.

“Maggy May,” he says.

“I didn’t mean to tell him. I was too drunk and upset, I guess.”

“I wasn’t going to yell at you.”

I’m so shocked that I drop the keys that I had just grabbed. I pick them up immediately, and Brandon takes a step towards me. I realize that I hadn’t even noticed he had gotten off of the couch. “I’ve been really thinking about the fact that I want to be with you, and not Ellen. She should have been the one to break up with me, but I had to break up with her last night.”

“Why couldn’t you do this two years ago?” I ask, tears beginning to form in my eyes. “Everything could have been so much simpler.”

He shakes his head, running his hands through the mop of curls on his head. “Maggy May, I should have, I know that. But, I didn’t realize that I wanted just you. I thought that it was-“

“Brandon, I meant what I said last night.”

“You don’t think I’m worth it,” he states.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about who I want to be with, too. I realized that Chris is the one who treats me right. I-I planned to tell you last night that we couldn’t sleep together anymore.”

I see a tear run down his cheek, and I instinctively reach out to wipe it away. I’d seen Brandon Collins cry so much that it was natural to me to wipe his tears away. “I don’t want us to just sleep together either, Maggy May.”

Taking a deep breath, I am fully prepared to tell him that it’s not possible for us to be together, when Matt clears his throat. “Do you really think that you two should be here?”

I hold up my keys. “That’s all I came for.”

“Maggy May, please.”

I feel my chest tightening and my breath becomes shorter. I know, immediately, that I’m about to have an anxiety attack. I look between Matt and Brandon, wondering what on earth I’m supposed to say in this moment. “Brandon,” I say, almost sympathetically. “I’m not sure we could work out anymore.”

“I want us to work, Maggy May. You know how much I care about you.”

I force myself to look away from his blurred green eyes, and I look at Matt. “I meant what I said last night.”

I’m not sure which of them I’m talking to, but my chest immediately stops tightening, and I know I’ve made the right decision.

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