my depressing thoughts


9. 9


wanna hear a secret?

the more depressed I am the happier I seem.


the more beautiful I sound, the more I have screamed 


the brighter my eyes look, the more I have cried


the more I smile, the more I can feel myself die.


so don't say that my smile lights up a room because

I cant see the light that my smile provides, through the tears that fill my eyes

that you once called bright and full of life. 


its funny cause the worse I get, the more people like me


because now I smile more


and now I look happier 


but when will you realize that this was all just a charade 


just me counting down until my dying days 


just me joining the parade


hoping and wishing that the end will come soon 


because lord knows that I won't be able to survive 'till noon 


and now there is no one to come and pick me up after I call home


because home is where the heart is and right now I don't feel it beating


but I am too scared to leave and walk this path alone




from Oliver

until we meet again.







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