5. 5. Explanation

Mikayla pov!

“So um... an explanation?” Luke asked sad we were all sitting down. Ashton next to me with Calum and across from us on the other couch was Luke and Mikey.


“I guess, so when I was young I had no friends, everyone bullied me and beat me up, they all hated me, it’s like I wasn’t welcome, my family was living but I just couldn’t handle school, when I was 14 I began self harming it was just once every now and then, but they kept calling me names fat,slut, ugly and so much more, I began self harming everyday and not eating as much as well as exercise, the voices in my head tell me I’m better off dead, I’m worthless, I’m fat... I’ve just struggled since” I said finishing my story.... I just broke into tears. This pressure it’s to much. I was shaking and sobbing.

“Shhh, it’s okay, stay strong,” they said hugging and comforting my stupid ass.

We stood up walking into the kitchen to get some water.

“Mikayla, I want to tell you I’m so proud of you for staying strong, listen I um you need to eat, I know easier said than done but you are eating this apple with peanut butter!” Luke said.

“I will try” I spoke but the though of peanut butter made me want to vomit.


After my snack I left the boys alone as I walked down to retrieve my mail.


“Hello boys,” welcoming them as I walked back in.

We all decided on a movie night. The red hair Michael picked Texas chainsaw massacre. Everyone glanced at the TV, Luke,Ashton and Calum freaking out every minuet. Me and Mikey just walked and talked about the scenes from it bonding over our love for horror movies.


We binged watched movies from Carrie to Moana. Me an Ashton being the only ones up he then turned to me and said-


“Listen! I know what it’s like battling the voices, I self harm as well” he spoke switching his bracelets from one wrist to the other exposing his scars.

“I am three months clean, every day is a battle, I often lose it... the boys all know and they all help me very much in there own ways, Luke has a bag with first aid in it for me! Listen You are an amazing beautiful young women! And try your absolute hardest to not harm this beautiful body of yours in any way shape or form, including depriving it of what it needs,” he spoke as tears rolled down my cheek.

“Here take this, if you ever feel like cutting look down and give me a ring,” he said putting a beautiful beaded bracelet on my wrist.

“Thank you so much Ashton, you are the best”

“Also uh Luke likes you” he said catching me by surprise.

“Huh” I quickly responded.

“He like likes you!” He said.

Me and Ashton talked all night till our tired little heads hit the floor falling quickly into a deep dreamless sleep.

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