Don't...

I don't want to hear anymore lies.
I don't want to feel guilty for something i shouldn't.
I don't want to get used anymore.
I just don't...

(Kind of a short story, advice, diary thingy, inspired by some feelings I've had lately).

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1. Don't say you miss me, when you don't call...

Some of the people you love, and people you think will never leave you, they will. 

It's not always intentional but it'll happen. You'll feel sad, left out, used, and much more. all of the above will mix together into a terrible feeling, sticking to you wherever you go. It's like it just won't go away, whatever you do.

Trust me, i've been there multiple times in my life, and I'm sure I'll be back sooner than later, unfortunatly. 

But sometimes I feel like it's for the best; In the long run. My reasoning for this is, that in some situations you actually have it worse when you have that person in your life. I may sound crazy, but in my experience can this theory be true.

On the other hand, can it also be very, very wrong. You'll feel like you life is falling apart, and that this is going to be the end. You'll feel horrible, only wanting to cry, hit something and just wanting it all to stop. But most of the time we keep it to ourselves. We don't want anybody to know that we're hurting and especially not the one or one's who hurt us. By keeping our feelings locked in we think we are stronger and under controle, but that is not the case. This, just gives our feelings a chance to explode whenever the last drop makes out glass flood over. And the thing is, we know this is what's going to happen. We can almost feel, see and hear the drops slowly but surely dropping down, filling up our inner glass, just waiting to get full. But we ignore it, put a smile on our face and keep on going, because we need to keep strong.

 

And at one point, we just flood over.

 

Whenever we are over that, no matter if it's days, weeks, months or years later, the most annoying thing will sometimes happen. They'll come back. And no, they don't always have to leave your life completely to come back. They can stay in your life, like if they're a classmate, a colleague, a family member or in your friend group, but now the difference is they'll start recognizing you again. But now is the time to be strong. Not before when you were hurting, but now that you're better. They'll pay more attention to you, ask how you are, what you're doing, how they miss you, but most importantly: Try to make you forget that they hurt you so bad. 

In 99.9% of these instances they don't mean whatever they say, and you'll end up even more hurt than before, so be strong. Because if you accept their "peace making", you're basically telling them, that they can walk all over you, kick you in the face, and you'll still be there with them. 

 

So don't.

Be strong.

And tell them; "No thanks", smile, give them a pat on the shoulder and walk away in pride.

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