Solace ~ h.s.

If he weren't there... I don't know what would have happened.


7. ⪻ 07 ⪼


Separation anxiety: defined as anxiety that can be provoked in children from separation of their mothers.

It's something that I believe I'm suffering from at this very moment. There have been cases in adults, where with separation from loved ones, separation from home, and ultimately being alone, comes fear and mental/physical pain.

I was always pretty independent growing up, always spending time on my own and taking care of myself when my parents were at work. As soon as I hit a certain age, all I wanted was to move out on my own as well. I wanted to live in my own place, come home to my cat, and have some special "me time" without being bothered.

I grew dependent on someone that I loved. It was a toxic love, but I couldn't help the feelings I felt and the actions that I ignored to stay. I felt "loved" and I didn't want to remember the feeling of being on my own. I lost my independence, but thankfully found it again with the help of my family.

Now, there's no family to help me through. No adult figure to show me the way and share with me from their experiences the ups and downs of life. I got into such a set schedule of life: sleeping in, helping mum out with the cooking and cleaning, searching for culinary jobs, getting myself mentally healthy, eating, going to sleep, and repeating daily.

My mum would know what to do in situations like these. She would be able to handle the insurance, the questions, the advice from doctors, and everything else. Mum would guide me and take care of me, tell me she loves me and that everything will be alright.

My dad would be here as well, getting what's best for me. He would take off work, though we need the money, and do everything in his power to be there for his family. Dad wouldn't leave my side unless he was being forced to leave.

Oddly enough I don't find myself getting incredibly worried over Edward being so far away. I have trust in Harry, especially since his reassurance this afternoon. Plus, I've sent over fifteen text messages checking up on the two and seeing what they're up to.

And I find myself getting less and less worried about the separation from him now that my phone begins to ring with Harry's contact name popping up.

"Hello." I answer, trying my best to put on my happy voice, when in reality I've been crying rivers since Harry, Niall, and Edward left my room.

"Hi Annie!" Edward exclaims into the receiver.

Immediately my saddened mood gets a bit joyous as I listen to his little voice. If there's anything Edward can do, it's bring a smile to my face in the darkest of days. "Harry's letting me use his phone to ring you."

"That's awesome, sweetheart. Did you get everything you needed from the house earlier? More importantly, are you having fun?"

"I'm having so much fun." He answers, completely bypassing my first question. "We had beef pizza for dinner and he let me drink a fizzy drink, which mummy and daddy never let me have. And then we watched three films! I can't really remember which ones they are, but they were good; Oh, one was Finding Dory, that's right." I chuckle lightly at his rambling and how his little brain works.

"Wow, that's so cool, Eddie."

"Harry says I have to try and go to sleep now, but I'm not tired."

Yeah probably because of that fizzy drink.

"He's right you know, you should get some -"

"Ooo, I forgot to tell you about Harry's cat. Her name is Dusty and she's really furry. While we watched the films she sat on my lap and I petted her. Do you think if we ask mummy and daddy we can get a cat?" My heart clenches at his question urging on more tears to surface, yet I've seemed to have cried them all out.

"I don't know, my love."

I can hear him pout a bit and then a deep voice in the background tell Edward something.

"Harry thinks I should get my pajamas on and brush my teeth."

Edward's usually really good around bedtime, meaning hopefully he won't give Harry a lot of crap tonight. I know once his head hits the pillow he'll be out like a light, he's just built that way.

"You probably should do that then. He's a smart man, he knows what he's talking about." With a small smile to myself, I lick my dry lips and continue on, "I love you so much, Edward. I love you more than I love the smell of mummy's perfume."

"I love you more than I love football."

That's always been our thing. When we tell each other we love them at night, we say "I love you more than..." and we list something we desperately love. Edward usually says football or food, but I try and dig a bit deeper.

"Alright, may I speak with Harry?" I wonder, hoping he'll put the doctor on the phone so I can triple-check how things went today.

"Yep. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, I love you."

My voice cracks a bit at the end of my I love you, the words bringing heart-warming and -aching feelings to my body. The exchange simply reminded me of the many phone calls I had had with mum and dad whilst away in Manchester.

"Annabelle?" I blink out of my trance set on my blanket covered legs.

"Yes, I'm here, sorry." I apologize, resting comfortable back in bed. "How did today go? The visit to the house, you locked up afterwards, right?" Harry chuckles lightly on his line.

"Everything has been great. We drove to the house first, picked up everything Edward needed, and locked the doors when we were done. I even watered your houseplants for you as well. You have a beautiful house by the way."

"Thanks. It was the house my parents moved into after getting married. They fell in love with it then and we've grown fond of it, us kids." Thinking about moving from the house just makes me sad all over again. "And thank you so much for doing all that. Edward's been behaving well, hasn't he? If he hasn't, just bring him by here and I'll have a talk with him."

"Edward has been a true gentleman. He's polite, cleans up after himself, and doesn't do anything without asking first. I'm not sure he's even a five year old, more than a young adult in a kid's body. Like he said, we had pizza and fizzy drinks and then watched a couple movies. I think Fight Club was his favourite." My jaw drops upon his slip of words.

"Please tell me you're joking." I plead, laying my head back on my pillow and staring up at the ceiling.

"Of course I'm joking! I'm not joking about the fizzy drink though, clearly you can tell he had one and that was hours ago! I can see why he isn't allowed to drink them. I'll be shocked if he goes to sleep tonight. I'm a doctor, I don't know why I thought giving a child sugar was something to do."

I laugh at his words, picturing him running his fingers through his hair or biting his bottom lip. The image of his facial features somehow give me comfort.

"I'm sure if Niall was taking care of him he'd be a chunky child by the time I get released."

"You're probably right. There's a reason why he didn't go into diet and nutrition."

After a couple seconds of laughter split between the two of us, we fall into a comfortable silence; I, clutching my somehow-not-completely-damaged-by-water phone, and he, probably standing with his own phone pressed against his ear. It's nice not feeling uncomfortable during a silent exchange; I hate silence over the phone, usually.

"How are you doing?" Harry finally asks, probably the question he's been wondering all day.

"I'm fine."

"How about a real answer?" I smile lightly.

Most men would shrug the answer off and move onto the next topic of conversation, but I guess not Harry. Maybe it's because he's trained in reading people.

"Not too good. I've just been trying to relax, but I had to call my father's office and inform them of the events that occurred. Then this new doctor has been on my case nearly every hour. He won't even let me go wee without him or a nurse escorting me there themselves. The loo is literally in the same bloody room!"

"I could be to blame for that. I may have given him strict instructions with you." I shake my head, trying to fight away a smile.

"Well I appreciate his work ethic, but could you please instruct him to take a half a step back?"

"I might." I can't help but laugh a little at his response, knowing well that he probably won't. "In another topic of conversation, you need to take it easy. If you don't feel up for all the meetings and such, then let it go until you're released, which could be soon if you remain in excellent condition."

"So you mean faking a collapse in the hall won't get me out of here sooner, because I kind of though it -"

"You did what?!" He nearly shouts, the playful Harry gone and the professional uptight Dr. Styles back from break. "Why didn't Liam tell me? Tell me you didn't do that, Annabelle. Having a head injury is serious business and faking something like a collapse or other symptoms is incredibly irresponsible and not to mention, uncool."

"Harry -"He doesn't even allow me to interject before he's going off about something else.

"Perhaps I should come back. Niall is off duty tomorrow morning and can watch Edward, so I should come back. Clearly Payne isn't doing his job properly and keeping a close eye on you if you're faking collapses in the corridor of the hospital."

"Harry!" I yell into the phone, forcing him to finally shut his mouth. "I was joking! I would never do something like that, ever. I know you haven't known me for long, but surely you didn't think I was that idiotic." I hear Harry release the biggest sigh to date before chuckling lightly.

"You're not an idiot; in fact, you're quite the opposite."

"Well on that note, I really should get some rest. I'm quite knackered. Thank you again for watching Edward." I say, letting my eyes wonder around the room.

"It's not a problem at all." His gruff voice over the receiver is quite calming, especially so late at night.

"If anything happens or you need anything, you'll ring, right?"

"Of course."

"Alright, goodnight then."

"Goodnight, Belle. Sleep tight."


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