Analyzing you

Jennah Sibley is a woman in her 20's and she goes to see a psychiatrist, Tom Hiddleston. He's not the way he seemes but she's not honest either.

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AA

4. Chapter 4

I had a cream white dress in my car and dark brown high heels. I change the glasses to my contacts. I put some make-up on. I call Clara and tell her what I saw. I promised to be careful. One look in the mirror above the steering wheel and I step out of the car. There was a lot of traffic outside but the offices were closing for the day so there weren’t many people left. I could go right inside the building and up to the 10th floor. Tom’s secretary had already left. The door to his room was closed so I knock on it.
“Come in” He says inside and I do so
He looks up from his laptop. He didn’t look happy.
“Hi Dr Hiddleston” I say with a smile
“The office is closed” He continues on his laptop
I sit down on the chair in front of his desk and look at him. I didn’t want to be friendly. He could have fooled me if I hadn’t known what he was about. He thought he could just move on and continue lying to his wife and others. I had to keep a cool head. I lean my elbows against the desk and look closer at him. He notices I do but he pretends to ignore me.
“Could I call you Tom?”

He didn’t reply. What he had on the screen was more important. I try to take a peak but it’s too far away. He’s typing something on the keyboard. I move my fingertips across the top of the laptop. He glimpses at my fingers quickly and then back on the screen. The light from it lightens up his eyes even more. One thing was sure; he could make any woman fall for him by just looking in his eyes. I was here on a mission and nothing else. I suddenly push down the screen of the laptop and he looks upset at me.
“Hey, I was working on that. What do you want anyway?”
“You’re not my psychiatrist anymore so we can date each other”
“If you thought a kiss will change everything then you’re wrong” He pushes the laptop lid up again
“So you do remember it. I just wanted to remind you what you’re missing”
“Sorry to bring it to you but it wasn’t that special. Could you leave, please?” He looks up and then at the screen
He tried to hurt my feelings but I knew it was more to it. I had to get him confess he’s married. I move my right hand to his left hand and run across it. He looks upset at me and takes his hand away.
“You’re just saying that so you don’t have to confess what you really feel about me”
“So you can read my mind now, can you? I’ve got work to do so please leave me alone” He looks up quickly

Taking slowly didn’t work. I want to make him really upset. Maybe he was the type that wanted a tough approach. I stand up from the chair and walk to the other side of the desk. I see what’s on screen and it really is a report he’s writing. I bend down and put my hands on his shoulders and before he can take them away, I’m already massaging them.
“No wonder you’re so intense. This job must be really stressful. Listening to people’s problems all day” I move my fingers back and forth while I looking at his neck
“OK, you can stop now” He tries to wiggle my hands away but I just continue
I get closer to his ear.
“Oh Tom, you smell so good and your lips taste divine. I need a man like you” I whisper
“OK, it’s enough” He takes a grip off my wrist and turns his chair so he faces me
I just smile and he stands up still holding me. He looks down at me. He’s about to say something but then just shakes his head. He loses the grip off me. He’s not as angry as he was. He sits back down on his chair and turns back to the computer. That was weird. He calmed down as fast as he got angry. Have I succeeded in my plan after all? I stand there thinking what to do next when he clicks save and switches off the laptop. He takes his mobile from the drawer and looks in it. He’s calling someone that I assume is his wife.
“Sorry, but something came up and I’m gonna be late. See you later. Bye” He ends the call and put the mobile on the desk

I’m still standing behind him puzzled. He turns his chair towards me and this time he takes my hand. He drags me closer to him while spreading his legs wider. He pulls me closer and he looks up at me. He moves his hands to my hips and is about to lift the hem of my dress.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I try to take his hands away
“You said it yourself; you need a man like me. This is how I am. I might just come out and say it, I sleep with my patients. The hotter, the better. They are usually blond because they turn me on. But I make an exception with you. You’re really resilient. I really admire that about you”
This wasn’t really going like I planned it. I didn’t want to sleep with him or anything like that. The thought of Joanna came to mind. I was doing this for her. I push him away.
“Was that your wife you called?”
“Wife? I’m not married”
“Oh, then who was it?”
“That’s no concern of yours. Now show me what you got under that dress. I’m dying to know” He tries to lift the hem again but I step away
“I should go” I get to the door
“Wait, what makes you think it was my wife”

My heart was beating faster. I was just about to open the door.
“You-you said you’re not married” I turn around
“Well. Um, I lied. Sorry about that” He smiles like it was no big deal
What game was he playing? This whole situation was tasteless. I just wanted to go home. My revenge had failed. I was relieved though that he didn’t suspect me. He stands up and gets to the door. He looks down at me and then bends down to kiss me. He runs his left hand across my chin. I keep my eyes open but so was his. The blueness of them was penetrating. I could see the same passion I felt inside me at this moment. I could do anything he wanted. I was a bit curious how it would feel like to feel him inside me. I hadn’t had sex in a year. All kinds of thoughts entered my mind until I woke up from my thoughts.
“No, I can't do this” I push him away and our lips part
He wasn’t upset.
“Is it because I have a ring on my finger? Believe me that it means nothing to me. I didn’t voluntarily get married. It was her idea. I did something I shouldn’t”
Was he going to confess to me about Joanna? That would be solved quickly.
“What happened? Did you kill someone?” I try to joke but he looks at me seriously “Oh sorry. Was it?”
“Let’s not talk about that. It’s spoiling the moment” He tries to kiss me again but I walk past him and get to his desk
“Sex, sex, sex, is that the only thing you think about?” I turn around to look at him
“Well, yeah”
“You should need a psychiatrist the most”
“Analyze me then” He smiles “I already know what you’re gonna ask”
“Want to bet? Sit on the couch over there” I point at it and he gets there
“How about making it more interesting? Every right question I guess, you take something off. Like strip psychology”
I pretend to think it over and then look seriously at him.
“No” I say determent “Lay down on couch”

I take the chair behind the desk and roll it over to the couch.
“If you really want to feel like a psychiatrist, take the notepad from the desk. I’m sure you want to write down notes”
I get there and find an empty one. I take a pencil and get back to the chair. I cross my right leg over the other and cover my knee with the dress. I never thought I would ask a psychiatrist questions. The whole situation was turning direction. I didn’t know what time it was but it was already dark outside. He looks up to the ceiling with both of his hands on his abs.
“How was your childhood? Happy? Tragic?” I look at him with the notepad on my lap
“It was quite alright. Expect that my parents got divorced? But otherwise, it was good”
“Did that have some affect why you are the way you are now?”
“Maybe but a lot of other things could have affected the way I am” He looks at me “Are you writing down anything?”
“Yeah” I write a few keywords “Why did you become a psychiatrist?”
“To help people through their problems I guess. I’ve always been interested in human behaviour”
“So when did you start to sleep with your patients”
He looks at me while I write on the notepad.
“That question is irrelevant. Next”
“That was the last one. Analyzing you next” I read what I wrote

He sits up and waits patiently.
“Um, what was that last question about?”
I stop reading and look at him without replying.
“Let’s see. Your parent got divorced so you’re afraid of commitment. Your fear of real intimacy has affected your career. You use psychology to get what you want. No one listens to you so you force them instead. So the reason you sleep with your patients is power over other people’s weaknesses. The same with this situation. You want power over me and when I won’t give it, you get violent instead”
“That’s quite good. I don’t agree with all of them. Especially the last one. I never get violent and I’ve never forced anyone”
“OK, I’m wrong then”
“Maybe that’s the reason you only like men from a distance. As soon as someone wants to get intimate with you, you back off. How many men have you had with that attitude?”

It made me want to come clean but the plan to get revenge was still clear. It just would take a little more time.
“Just because you’re a psychiatrist, it doesn’t mean you know everything”
“OK, prove it. Let’s do it on this couch right now. Come show me what you got” He tries to take my hand but I stand up
“Proving it by having sex with you? Think again” I throw the notepad and the pencil in his lap
I get to the door and storm out.
“I’ll think about you when I screw my wife tonight” He shouts after me
I had been there for too long. It was already 10 pm when I got home. Clara must have wondered why I hadn’t called when I have promised I would. I only wanted to cry.

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