Old Farts

A group of old age pensioners meet up once a week to discuss their lives and reminisce about days gone by - read the comic antics of four of them.


5. 5

Peter: What about you, your lass has you at a word. Talk about hen pecked. I passed your house the other day and saw you with an apron on cleaning the windows inside.

Robert: Julia and I share the house work in our house. Unlike you who just sits on his fat arse doing nowt.’

Peter: have you been in his house, it’s like walking into a palace. There’s a fifty inch telly mounted on the wall and a leather sofa that must have cost an arm and a leg.

Robert: all bought and paid for. I worked hard for what I have.’


[Robert opens a packet of sugar and adds it to his coffee and stirs it with a wooden stick whilst Peter stuffs his first steak slice down his neck.]


Dickie: Double glazing must have been a lucrative business then Rob?

Robert: I did all right out of it.


[Robert sips the cappuccino from his cup then sets it back down on the table. Two young women pass by the cafe

Peter: Look at the tits on her. [he says out loud]

Robert: Do you have to talk like that.’ Woman aren’t just sexual objects you know.’

Peter: what’s wrong with tits like.’

Robert: Nothing, but there is a time and a place, you shouldn’t be going on like that at your age anyway.’ Those women are so young they could be your daughters. Would you like old men drooling over your daughter like that.’

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