Old Farts

A group of old age pensioners meet up once a week to discuss their lives and reminisce about days gone by - read the comic antics of four of them.


4. 4

Dickie: There’s only the two of you isn’t there. What the hell are you going to do with over four pounds of sausage?

Peter: Eat the bugger what do think I’m going to do with it. We’ll freeze the rest.


[Dickie laughing looks over towards Colin.]

Dickie: Colin you look like you just come out of a freezer.’

Colin: Diven’t you start. If you had my ailments you’d know about it. I’ve got sixteen tablets to take four times a day to keep me alive.

Dickie: Hey man we’re all ill, well apart from the man from C&A in there anyway.

Peter: I’d like to be a few bob behind the bugger. He must be a millionaire, just look at that bike he’s riding it must have cost a fortune.

Colin: he’s never off the bloody thing.

Peter: Aye it’s been ridden as many times as your lass.’

Colin: At least wor lass was worth a ride. Its been seven years now since see buggered off and left me.

Peter: Whey the size of your willie no wonder she left you.’

Colin: It’s been that long since you saw yours you’ve got to tease the bugger oot wi a bit of lettuce.

Peter: At least I’ve got one I’m proud of.

[Robert returns with a tray with the drinks and sets them down on the table.]


Robert: Are you two at it again already, its every time I come here; you two start arguing like a bloody married couple.

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