Old Farts

A group of old age pensioners meet up once a week to discuss their lives and reminisce about days gone by - read the comic antics of four of them.

3. 3

Peter: Can you get me a cup of tea and two of those steak slices Rob, I’ll give you the money when you come out.

Robert: I see your sticking to your diet, you fat bastard.

Peter: Bugger the diet, just get me the pasties and shut your hole. I’ve got enough with wor lass giving me earache about my weight.

Robert: It’s your funeral.

Dickie: Speaking of which here come Colin The Corpse.


[ walking up the mall like something that had just escaped from a mortician’s slab, Colin is seen coming towards them]


Robert: Come on, you old fart, your late. What do you want?


[Panting for breath Colin replies]

Colin: Just get me an iron lung will you.

Robert: see what smoking forty tabs a day has done for you.’

Colin: Piss off Rob and get me a bottle of orange juice.


[Robert disappears into the shop and Colin pulls up a seat and sits down.]

Peter: Have you seen the offer Dickson’s Pork Shop has on this week? I got four pound of sausage for two- nighty- five.’


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