Patience

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  • Published: 28 Sep 2017
  • Updated: 8 Nov 2017
  • Status: Complete
Good things come to those who wait.
This too shall pass
No baby can ever replace another, every single baby is unique and precious, some are born and others aren't, any child that is born following a child that died isn't a replacement, they are just a longed for sibling and a gift to their family

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4. Fear

Fred’s POV

February 2025

A few weeks after Lana and I found out she was pregnant I woke up to the sound of her cooking breakfast. I tie my robe around my waste and put on my glasses.  Then I walk downstairs to greet my beautiful wife who’s standing at the kitchen sink. I lean against the door frame and stare at her move around cooking bacon, brewing coffee and being the woman I fell in love with all those years ago. The woman I married, the woman who was the mother of my children.

I walk up behind her and nibble on her ear before wrapping my arms around her and whispering

“Good morning beautiful. How are my beautiful wife and baby?”

“Something’s wrong. I just know it.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I think I might miscarry again. I don’t want to miscarry again. I can’t lose another one.”

“Lana…it’s okay. Do you want to go see your therapist?”

“No…”

“Lana you have to talk about these things. You have to get it out.”

“Can’t I talk to you?”

“No baby I was there…talk to someone else.”

“Okay…I’ll be back later. I guess. I love you Fred.”

I kiss her lips and then watch her climb into her car and back down out of the driveway. She turns down the street and vanished from view. I would see her in a few hours.

I walk to my office and pull out a piece of paper. Maybe writing down life events would help me cope with the thought of losing another one. Lana wants a baby so bad and it seems like everything is trying to keep her from having her baby to keep us from starting a family. Five years of marriage and so far four failed pregnancies. Four babies that didn’t even make it to where we could learn the gender. I push my chair away from my desk…put my head in my hands and rest my arms on my lap. Frustration overwhelms me and grief is buried in my heart. 

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